


And Flowers Die

by shyannasaur



Category: Supernatural
Genre: All aboard the Feels train, Blood & Gore, Bonding, Buckle up kiddies, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Smut, F/M, I'm talking like at LEAST 50 chapters, Lime, Mythology- freeform, Parent Death, Possible songfic-like chapters, Slow Burn, Sorry the first few chapters suck but hang in there, Stolen Grace, Swearing, choo choo, it gets better with age I promise, long fic, reader/OC has female parts, reader/OC is referred to as a female, reader/OC isn't all she appears to be, story follows canon plot with original story line mixed in, tags updated as needed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-16
Updated: 2016-05-01
Packaged: 2018-05-14 06:31:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 45,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5733034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shyannasaur/pseuds/shyannasaur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(pre-God!Castiel) When Team Free Will accepted you as their newest member, your life became a book. But the longer you spend your days hunting with them, the more pages you discover are missing. What have your parents hid from you all these years after their deaths? Does all of existence rest on your shoulders? Can an angel love a <em>World Unraveler?</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. That's one powerful trench coat

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first supernatural fanfic, so excuse me if it's a little rusty around the edges!! Kudos and constructive criticism are always much appreciated! I hope you enjoy reading as much as I did writing xo

Getting on the road along side the Winchester brothers did _not_ prove to be an easy endeavor.

You’ve been a hunter since you came out of the womb, and a pretty damn good one if you would say so yourself. You are agile and intelligent, not to mention you aren’t that bad looking either. You take good physical care of yourself, regardless of the life you live. Despite all this, Sam and Dean really made you earn that spot in the backseat of their impala. You accompanied them on smaller hunts to prove you could handle yourself, you did research for them until the crack of dawn on many occasions, hell, you even made _grocery runs_ for them once or twice! But what event really proved you are worthy and ready of joining their crew was the night that you and the brothers stumbled into a giant demon hide out in an abandoned warehouse by mistake while hunting a werewolf.

“I’m running out of salt rounds over here!” Dean yells over his shoulder as he unloads another round into two more demons that come hurdling at him.  
“We ain’t peachy over here either Dean!” You holler back to him as you cling to your iron crowbar, darting your sharp vision between the seven demons that surrounded you, all with shit-eating grins plastered on their faces. “Well you all just gonna stand there or are we gonna party?!” You yell at them. One lunges for you and you swing into the cold air, the bar colliding into the demon’s temple just before it’s body hits the ground.  
“Direct hit!”  
Another comes for you and you hit it harder than the last.  
“Outta the park!”  
A third runs to you, meeting the same fate as it’s brothers.  
“Home run!”  
You remember have a small flask of holy water at your side, but not enough to take them all on. “We need Cas! Where’s Cas?!” Sam yells out before he slashes two throats of black-eyed bodies in one swift move with his demon-killing blade, their howls of pain and anguish mixing together as response. You’ve only heard conversations about the angel before; never met him in the flesh. But if things go any worse for the three of you than they are now, then you may never get the chance.  
“Any time now you feathered fuck boy!” Dean chants out as he reloads. No angel responds. “ _Fuck_ , ten shells left!”  
“Look out!” Sam hollers in your direction.  
You don’t process his words quick enough to react; you’re about to hit another bottom-feeder-possessed body when you’re thrown across the room and come colliding with a wall, leaving cracks from impact before you fall to the floor. " _F-Fuck_ ,“ is all you manage to say as you try to peel your body off the pile of concrete rubble you fell on. That’s gonna leave bruises later, if there is a later. The demon that threw you presses a foot into your sternum, and hard. All you can manage to do in response is choke out a half-cry as you hear your own lungs fail to keep oxygen, and your own bones creaking under the weight. The demons eyes flash a dark grey. He lets a little weight off your chest, and you gulp in a much needed breath. A sinister grin forms at the corners of his mouth.  
"It wasn’t very polite of you three to just barge into my quarters without invite.” His foot slides a tad lower and begins to press again directly on top of your lungs. You cry out again, hoping a couple broken ribs won’t hinder the searing anger building in your chest. “And it was _especially_ rude of you to kill my brothers and sisters without my permission. You will pay muchly for that. Have anything to say for yourself?” He lets up a little and once again you gulp in the stale air of the warehouse. You respond with nothing but a gargled cough, so the demon bends down so his face can meet yours. He studies you momentarily, and his eyes then begin to widen. "Well today _must_ be in my favor, because _you're_ the one we all gathered into this town to find. I didn't even need to lift a finger; you came to me. And you brought the Winchesters with you! What a nice bonus." Before you can even mentally question why he was looking for you, the demon flashes you a baleful grin before pressing his foot down onto you once more and swiftly pulling up again, just to hear you suffer through another round of painful coughs..  
“Don’t you hurt her you son of a bitch!” Dean screams in your direction as you helplessly watch him and Sam get surrounded by demons. The presumable head demon pinning you down turns to them, using his telekinesis ability to pick Sam and Dean up in the air, just to slam them down to the concrete floor. This erupts sickening laughter from all the demons, including your assailant.  
A thought quickly rings through your head out of nowhere:

_holy water_

You swiftly remember the flask tied to your waist, quickly taking it from its holster and pouring as much as you can into your mouth while the head demon is distracted. You exchange looks with Sam as he understands your new found plan. The demon turns his attention back to you, satisfied with his work on the brothers, and you swiftly hide the flask. “I’ll ask again…” He starts with as you feel his foot come down on you once more, almost making you choke on the holy water hidden in your cheeks. He leans down closer to your face. “ _What_ do you have to say for yourself, missy?”  
You take this as your queue, spitting all the holy water into his eyes and onto his face. The demon steps off of you as he grips his head in his hands, an inhuman screech erupting from his core.  
“Sam!” You wail. Sam throws his demon-splicing dagger at you and you catch it mid air, then plunge it deep in the head demon’s chest. His screech becomes louder as white light emanates from his orifices, finally ridding him of your presence.  
“Fuck yeah!” Sam hollers at the small victory. “Now can you help us out over here?!” Dean continues as he’s sweating bullets. They’re completely surrounded by at least thirty demons. You pick up your crowbar and bound toward them, throwing Sam back his knife. Dean, now out of shells, has out his own demon-splicing knife. The fight reigns on with no sign of Castiel. You three managed to kill off half of them, but you three still aren’t the ones winning. You’ve been backed up an old flight of metal stairs by three demons and onto platforms that hang from the ceiling. You hope that your face doesn’t show the worry of them collapsing under you from age. You kill one demon before reaching the end of the platform, nowhere to run. The two remaining demons have you cornered until you almost trip over a bag of something. “Roof and road salts,” you read off the burlap. You grin as you rip it open, grab a handful of salt and toss it in the demons’ faces. They shriek and sizzle before falling off the platform. You pick up three bags of salt and run back downstairs to find you were a second too late, watching as Sam has both of his legs dislocated at the knee and an arm broken by three female demons. His lungs contents fill the air with cries of pain as you sprint toward him, total rage building with every step.  
“Get your filthy hands off him!” You scream as you furiously yank the demon’s head down by her hair and dump salt down her throat.  
Once she’s done kicking and screaming, you throw a bag of salt in Dean's direction and kill three more demons to diffuse the bomb that was lit in your stomach. You kneel to Sam; he’s too heavy to pick up, but you link your arms under his and drag him quickly out of sight. All he responds with is the sound of gritting teeth and the occasional “errrrr” from pain.  
God _damnit_ , if only you were a second quicker.  
“I’m so sorry I wasn’t quick enough. I’m gonna reset it Sam.” You say sternly as he nods his head, still in searing pain.  
You position yourself and have a firm hold on his first leg. “Hang in there Dean! I’ll be there in a minute,” you call over your shoulder and Dean slices another demon. “Well you better hurry the fuck up!” You turn back to Sam.  
“On three. One. Two.”  
You shove his shin back into place and Sam hollers in pain.  
“I thought you said on _three_?!” He whimpers. “Sorry, sorry! Okay, on actual three. One. Two.” You shove his second shin back into place. “FUCK! What the hell?” Sam angrily says.  
“Sorry! You’ll thank me later.” You take off your jacket to create a sling for Sam's arm. Sam moves to get up but you push him back down. “ _Don’t_ move, you're in no condition to fight. Dean and I got this.” Before he could protest, you take his blade and run to backup Dean.  
Just then, the sound of wings beating fills the air and you turn around to see a tall, solemn-looking man in a trench coat standing behind you and Dean. “Cas!” Sam and Dean ring out together.  
You blink a few times. _This_ guy? _This_ is the all-powerful angel everyone’s been talking about?  
The supposed angel runs up to stand in front you and Dean, looking ready to butt heads with some demons. “Everyone shield your eyes!” He calls out, loud but calm. You don’t immediately react out of confusion, so Dean pulls you into his chest and covers both of you two’s faces, as well as Sam covering his own across the room. Despite your entire face covered, a blinding white light glows from behind your eyelids.  
“Okay. I eradicated the rest of them. You can uncover your eyes now,” the man in the trench coat says. Dean lets go of you and stomps over to the angel, taking a swing at him with a fist but missing as he ducks out of the way; seems like that isn't the first time Dean has tried to wack him. You look around the room to be hit with the realization that this guy just took out the demons.

ALL the demons.

“What the fuck took you so long asshole?” Dean hissed. “I'm sorry. I was delayed; A few of my brothers found me and were not happy to see me. I had to take care of them before I came here,” Castiel says in monotone before turning his attention from Dean to you.  
He steps forward, now looking more intimidating after you realizing what power he holds. He leans in close to your face, trying to examine your nervousness.  
“You are the new addition. I am Castiel.” You feel your face grow hot, most likely because he’s in your personal bubble, and you _hate_ that; when it’s not invited at least. “Uh. Hi…” You say in an unsure tone as you step back a little, getting breathing room between you two so the color can leave your face. “I’m Aya.” You hold out a hand for him to shake. Castiel tilts his head, looking puzzled for a moment, before taking your hand gingerly and bringing it to his lips to place a small but firm kiss on the back of it.  
Your face is probably as red hot as fire now as you quickly pull your hand away and squeak out of shock and embarrassment. “Cas what the hell was that for? Now look what you did, you freaked her out,” Dean says as he lands a punch on Castiel’s arm. Dean can throw a hard enough fist to knock a sumo wrestler on their rears, but the angel, however, simply gazes at Dean as though he just poked him instead. Geez, this angel is tougher than he looks.  
“You told me to do that when I want to leave a good impression on women,” Castiel replies as though it was nothing. “Yea dumbass, to girls you wanna get in your bed, not in our team,” Dean scoffs. Castiel turns to you once more; you’re still flushed from the shock. “My apologies,” Castiel says and tips himself a little to replicate a small bow. “Uh, did you guys forget about me already?” Sam calls out from the other side of the room. Dean looks over but Castiel’s eyes are fixated on you.  
What is _with_ this guy? You think to yourself.  
“I’m still in pain over here.” Dean starts to walk towards Sam. “Can you fix him doc?” Dean shoves Cas a little. Castiel walks away slowly, finally breaking eye contact and allowing you to sigh out the breath you were holding. You glance over to the boys and watch as the angel fixes Sam to good as new. You look down at the back of your left hand, where Castiel placed his lips only moments ago, and solemnly think about how this angel has a lot more to him than you originally thought.

If he wasn’t so mysterious, intimidating, and well, an angel, you’d think he was kinda nice.  
-


	2. Story Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel learns about the reader's upbringing in the hunter life, and what happened to her parents. *blood/gore warning*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fanfic will be following the original storyline of Supernatural with my own ideas mixed evenly. Things are gonna start getting interesting from here--
> 
> Gotta love how i just slipped my name in there and so happens to be the reader's hometown's name lolol

“Jesus Christ, Aya. If you pack any more into the car we’re gonna have to leave Sam and Cas behind,” Dean calls into the house as he leans against his precious Impala.  
You’re upstairs in your bedroom, packing the last of your essentials as you see Sam and Castiel exchange looks as a result of Dean’s statement, both unsure if he’s serious. You can’t help but roll your eyes and stifle a giggle under your hand; like you’d actually let them get left behind, under any circumstance. “Don’t worry boys, I’m not bringing that much,” you say to them, Still grinning. You thank the heavens the boys have connections to get you a free storage unit so you don't have to throw most of your belongings away. You walk over and stick your head out the open bedroom window.  
“Almost done up here! Don’t get your panties up in a bunch Deanie-Bean!” You call down to Dean, who just waves you off.  
It’s just barely starting to get dark, and the mid October wind sends a chill through you; better hurry before you can’t see your hand in front of your face. You were born in Cheyenne, Wyoming and live…well, lived, deep in the forests with no street lights to help your sight. Castiel is looking out a side window when he notices two graves on the side of the house. You notice him staring as you toss a duffle bag stuffed with mementos and clothes to Sam, whom obviously thought it would be lighter, which he takes down to the car. This leaves you and Castiel alone in your now memory-stripped bedroom. You pick up the last picture frame and hold it gently in your hands; it’s a decade old photo of you and your parents. You sit down on your bare mattress, studying the picture like you have almost every night since it was taken.  
“Those are your parents,” Castiel says in his usual monotone as he hovers next you, looking at the photo. You glance up at him then back down at it. “I saw the graves; do they belong to them?” Castiel continues. He probably figured it out something went wrong, since you live alone in a secluded two-bedroom cottage.  
“Yea, they do..” You say quietly.  
Quite frankly, you weren’t to keen on pouring out your life story (that you’ve never told anyone) to an angel you just met three days ago, but something about him seems different than when you had first met him. He seems more… Open. You sigh and tap the spot on the mattress next to you. Castiel takes the hint and sits.  
You wrack your brain, searching for the right place to start. “Both of my parents were hunters; we come from a long family chain of ‘em. They would take turns on hunts with any other hunters in the area so I was never left alone. And even on the off chance I was, I knew how to protect myself. My dad taught me to look under my bed before I slept when I was six, how to throw knives when I was seven, and how to shoot a rifle when I was eight.” You chuckle at the first memory, your dad crawling under your bed to demonstrate, and grabbing your tiny ankles making you squeal with laughter.  
“When I was fifteen, my parents came up on a lead to a big vampire nest which was planning on going haywire and devouring a whole town nearby. My pop called every nearby hunter he could and rallied up a good sized ambush team; almost thirty hunters I think. But things didn’t go as planned; they lost about half of their people, so they hauled-ass back and decided to try again later. Unfortunately there was no later..” You stare down at the photo, your parents smiling ear to ear.  
You feel tears threatening to fall at the corners of your eyes but you push them back before Castiel could see. He doesn’t say a word, so you continue. “The vampires sent scouts to follow every hunter that left alive, my parents were included.” You pause once more, trying to mentally prepare yourself for the final part in your story. “Our house was surrounded that night and broken into. My parents barricaded my room with me, my dad’s favorite dagger, the one I now carry with me everywhere, and six syringes of dead man’s blood in it, me kicking and screaming the whole way that I could help. It felt like hours I was trapped in there before I climbed out my window and jumped down into the yard. I heard my dad scream and I ran inside the front door just in time to see my mom get torn to shreds, my dad being next as I watch them fracture one of his legs first, then shred his chest to ribbons. I stabbed a syringe in my mom’s killer and moved on to my dad’s assailant. He was screaming to run, but I grabbed his machete and ran into the kitchen, the vampire right behind me. It was all a blur, but when I came to, there were three dead vampires at my feet and I was covered in blood. I remember hoping it was theirs…”  
Tears make their debut and you don’t feel them as the run down your cheeks. Your voice begins to shake and your grip on the picture tightens.  
“I ran into the other room screaming for my dad. He told me to run into the forest until I reached the closest hunter’s house, but I wouldn’t leave him. I made a tourniquet for his chest as best I could and a splint for his leg, then I helped him up into my parents bedroom. I pushed a wardrobe in front of the door, hoping that would buy time if they came back with more cavalry. My dad was fading fast from blood loss. He told me he loved me, where all his weapons were hid, and where to find his phone book of all the hunters he knew. I told him he’d be fine, that I would get help. The last thing he ever said to me was that I’ll see him again someday, and that I’ll find family in hidden places.”  
The room is silent.  
“This picture was taken three days prior,” you say, so quiet you’re not sure if the angel even heard you.  
You come to, realizing you’ve been sobbing. You look up to Castiel with watery but clear-as-day vision, and he looks shocked that you told him so much. There’s a crunching noise and his gaze shifts to your hands. Your eyes follow to find you’ve broken the glass of the photo frame, slicing up your palms as your tears mix with the blood. You hiss when the pain finally hits you and drop the frame in your lap. You go to pick out the first piece of glass from your hand when Castiel grabs both of your wrists firmly, but not enough to cause you any more harm.  
You glance up bewildered as he speaks. “Don’t. I can heal you.”  
You’re about to question what he can do that you can’t when in the blink of an eye, your hands are back to normal, no cuts. You glance down at the picture frame, good as new. Oh, _that_ , You think to yourself, answering your question. You’ve got a lot to learn about angels you guess.  
“T-Thank you, Castiel,” you say as you look up to him, only to find he’s gone.  
You stand up and look out your window to see him leaning against the opposite side of the impala from Dean, staring into the trees. You watch for a moment before turning away, placing the picture frame in your last box. You take a glance in the mirror on your wall before leaving, noticing the final thing Castiel did for you; your face was completely dry, and eyes no longer puffy from tears. You look actually a little better than before you cried, honestly.  
You walk downstairs to see Sam hunched over in your dad’s old recliner, hands intertwined as he stares at the floor, lost in thought.  
“Hey. I’m ready,” you stay, startling him a little.  
“Y-Yea. Let’s go.”  
You both walk out the front door to see Dean’s relieved, slightly-annoyed face. You shut the front door, hand lingering momentarily on the worn doorknob. You round to the side house and Dean and Sam go to follow, but Castiel takes them by the shoulders, shaking his head. The three boys stay where they’re planted as you have a moment of silence, sitting on the grass in front of your parent’s graves. The cool wind blows through your hair as the sun disappears.  
You turn to your mother’s grave. “I’ll be safe, mom. I promise. I’m going to do great things; I’ll make you proud.”  
You turn to your father’s. “I found a new family, dad. They’re gonna take care of me, and I’ll take care of them; just like you did for me.”  
You shed a single tear before standing up and composing yourself. You walk past the boys, silent as you step into the back of the impala. The boys do the same. After a moment of silence, Dean finally turns on the car, blasting the radio to ease the tension. Sam and Dean start talking about the current hunt and how you’ll be heading to South Dakota, but you don’t listen as your eyes watch the world fly by outside your window.

Castiel’s eyes are fixated on you the entire car ride.  
-


	3. Fill in the spaces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader is relayed the current situation on the boys, heaven, and their current hunt. Reader is also catching on to Castiel; what exactly is he hiding, you wonder?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just love bonding time and the thought of big brothers Dean and Sam don't you judge me--
> 
> btw, sorry no Bobby yet!! He'll be prominent in the next chapter I promise

It’s only been a few weeks since you started your new life with the Winchester brothers, and you’re already starting to feel in place and at home with them. Because the feelings are mutual, they feel it’s time to relay the bigger problems they've got on their plates to you. Sam and Dean reveal that the apocalypse started, how they stopped it, and how Raphael, the current ruler of heaven, wants to initiate it once more. They speak of how Castiel is trying to find a way to stop him, and this is why he hasn't been around much since the night you said goodbye to your childhood home. They tell you about how Sam had his soul trapped in Lucifer’s cage for a year, and how he got it back, courtesy of Death himself. Lastly, they tell you that they are hunting Eve, the mother of all monsters, and are going to kill her before she can rule over the entire human race.  
-  
You slump back in your old, creaky chair and take a heavy sigh. You stare at the ceiling, trying to process all the new information being thrown at you. You close your eyes and hear shifting in the two chairs in front of you.  
“We know this is a lot to take in at once,” Sam starts off before looking at Dean, silently telling him to continue. “But we need you to be prepared for what’s gonna be thrown at us soon. Hope this doesn't mean you wanna hightail it outta here,” Dean solemnly says.  
You open your eyes and straighten yourself out. “Okay,” you start. “I get the apocalypse, and Raphael’s threat. I get that Eve’s our main priority right now. But there’s two things I don’t get.” You turn your gaze towards the brothers. “How does Castiel think he’s gonna smite Raphael? You said that he’s much stronger than trench coat boy, won’t he get himself smushed like a bug?”  
Dean is about to say something when the flutter of wings sounds around you. “You know, having a little faith in me could not hurt,” Castiel says from behind you.  
You jump out of your seat and hit the ground with a thud. “Damn it Castiel, you gotta stop popping up outta nowhere. You’re gonna give me a heart attack,” you say as you get up off the dirty hotel carpet and brush yourself off.  
“You get used to it,” Dean says sarcastically, a smirk on his face and obviously trying not to laugh at your stumble.  
You put your hands on your hips and raise an eyebrow. “Think somethin’s funny, tough guy?” You say, saturating it with superiority and finishing with a smirk of your own. You could put up quite a fair fight against Dean, after all. Dean starts to get up and silently accepts your challenge when Sam presses him back down on his chair.  
“Let’s stay on topic, shall we?” Sam says, shifting eyes between you and Dean before you two destroy the second hotel room this week trying to get each other to wave a white flag.  
"You're in for it later you little shit," Dean grumbles. You and Dean stick out your tongues at each other and Sam's eyes are rolling so hard they might actually roll back into his head. You press down a laugh at the thought. You pull another chair up for Castiel next to the boys and you both sit, completing the circle.  
"Where have you been anyways, ya flying monkey? Haven't seen or heard from you in weeks," Dean directs to Castiel. “Where do you think, Dean? I have been fighting the civil war engaging all of heaven and trying to locate Crowley," Castiel says with a hint of annoyance. He turns his attention to you, softening his expression a little. "I do not have a way to beat Raphael currently, but I am confident I will soon,” Castiel utters.  
The boys don’t notice, but you catch an odd vibe coming off the angel. You've always been good at picking up on other people’s emotions, but Castiel is something else. He’s hard to…read. Why do you feel like he’s hiding something?  
“Either way,” Sam starts, derailing your train of thought. “What was the second thing you were wondering about?”  
“Well, you actually,” you speak. Sam gives you a look of confusion.  
“Your soul. You said it was locked in the fiery pit with an angry devil and a pissy archangel, how the _hell_ , no pun intended, did it escape without being torn to shreds?” Sam moves around on his chair, making it creak.  
“Well that’s the thing, it didn't. Hardly holding together, actually,” Dean mutters, voice leaving a tinge of a mix of anger and worry in the air.  
“Death put up a temporary mental wall in his noggin’ to keep the memories at bay. If it wasn't there, Sammy here would probably be a drooling mess on the floor right now.” Sam looks at Dean, obviously a little offended. You’re about to speak when Sam cuts you off, probably taking note of the new found worry spread on your face.  
“But we will find a way to fix me as well.” You sigh once more. “Where there’s a will, I guess,” you say as you get up and stretch. "Just don't go pickin' at it okay Sammy? I don't wanna have to try to drag you everywhere like I had to the night of the demon's hideout if it crumbles and you turn into a vegetable." Sam looks offended once more. " _Kidding!_ Kidding!" you quickly say.  
You turn your attention to Castiel to find his expression shifted once more, now taking on a face of concentration. It kind of looks like he's listening to something? You think for a moment it must be that weird humming you hear too, you figure it's probably coming from the air conditioner across the room. But when you shift your gaze to the AC, it's off. Your brow furrow in confusion. _What is that weird humming then? ___  
Before you get a chance to ask the boys if they hear it as well, Castiel stands from his chair and cuts you off. "I must go," Castiel says in his usual, but now ever-so-slightly suspicious, monotone. He turns to where you're standing.  
"I will see you soon."  
And just like that, it's as though the angel was never there in the first place.  
You gather your thoughts for a quick moment, then walk over to your duffle bag and start shoving clothes into it. “So, now that I'm in the loop, what are we waiting for then, ya sissies?” You say over your shoulder to the boys. They exchange glances and stand up as you continue.  
"Let's go put this Eve chick's head on a stake."  
-


	4. Only forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader meets bobby, who wants to know if she's really ready for what she's getting into.  
> ((yay more bonding with the brothers-*-*-*))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lot of fun writing this chapter, can you guys tell?  
> >got any thoughts, comments, suggestions, criticism? Don't be afraid to comment!! Always appreciated--

Once you, Sam and Dean packed up your things in your hotel room somewhere in mid South Dakota, you set off further into the state.  
-  
You and the boys have been driving down this road for what seems like hours. You grunt as you try to peel your thighs off the leather seats of the Impala.

“What gives guys? I thought finding and mincing Eve was our top priority right now?” You say. “We’re taking a little detour; we've got somebody we want you to meet, Aya," Dean responds. You raise an eyebrow.  
“It’s important. He’s also coming with us to kill Eve, so just hang in there, we’re almost to his place,” Sam says, trying to ease your fidgeting a bit. You sigh and nod, digging through your backpack trying to find some entertainment, since staring out the car window hasn't done much for you these past hours.  
“Yes!” You exclaim as you pull out your old Gameboy Advance. “Forgot I had this on me, damn. That could've saved a couple of my brain cells a few miles ago.”   
Dean looks in his rear view mirror to see you starting it up, you being greeted with a Pokemon Yellow logo. “You actually still own one of those old hunks of plastic?” Dean scoffs. "Hey, don’t you judge me asshat. I’ve had it since I was a kid,” you say as you start to get immersed in the game.  
Sam swivels around in the front seat to look back at you. “Oh yeah, I remember these. They were all the rage when we were in grade school,” he says as he watches you play.  
“Dammit, I remember this gym leader,” you speak. “He was always a bitch to beat when I was a kid.” You try to beat him, but after several tries you pause and sigh. You haven’t picked this thing up in years, so you’re bound to be a little rusty, you guess.   
“Here, lemme see,” Sam continues. You hand him your Gameboy and Sam starts playing it as though he was born for this, tearing through the battle with speed. If Sam wasn't a hunter for a living, you're almost certain he'd be a competitive gamer. “Whoa, you’re really good. Not as good as me though, I am faaaarr superior,” you say to Sam. He looks up and you wink at him.  
“Oh yeah? You seem confident,” Sam says, a smirk now spreading across his face. “How about this, we switch off when we die and see who gets the farthest,” he continues as he beats the boss. “Oh, you’re on Winchester!” You exclaim.  
“You two should listen to yourselves. You guys sound like you’re in sixth grade again,” Dean says as he rolls his eyes. “Oh lighten up, Deanie-Bean,” you say as you pinch his cheek from the back seat. He smacks your hand away and smirks. “Tell you what, when we touchdown wherever you two are kidnapping me off to, I’ll let you play with my Gameboy. Maybe then you’ll finally learn what fun is,” you utter, filling your words with sarcasm and making Dean smile. “Yea maybe, if you can pry it from Sam’s cold dead hands,” he says, pointing a thumb at his brother.  
Sam is so into the game, he doesn’t notice you stifle a giggle. He reminds you of when you were a kid in that moment, so full of content and without a care in the world. You remember when your dad bought the thing for you; you were so excited to take turns with him. But he was usually on a hunt, so you had to play by yourself most of the time, since your mom wasn't into video games. Mom and dad…  
Your thoughts are cut short by Sam muttering a small “ dammit” under his breath. You look up to see he died. “Okay hot shot, my turn!” You say as you reach for the game and Sam extends it out of your reach. “Wait wait wait just one more chance!” Sam exclaims and you both start laughing at how much you’re contorting yourself while trying to get it; poor Dean saying something about no rough housing in the car.  
You finally reach civilization when you turn off the dirt road under an arch with a town’s name plastered on it.   
“Sioux Falls?” You speak up. “What are we doing in a little run-down town like this?” “We’re just passing through,” Dean responds.  
Within 15 minutes, you pull up to a worn out house and what seems like a car graveyard.   
“Singer Salvage Yard huh?” You say, reading the sign you pass under. Dean pulls into the automobile resting site and parks. You three get out of the car and Sam and Dean escort you to the house on the premise. Dean knocks on the paint-chipped door then lets himself in, Sam trailing behind him, and you behind Sam.  
“Bobby you home?” Dean calls out into the house, which responds only in an echo.   
“Hey Bobby come on down, we've got someone we want you to meet,” Sam hollers. The three of you walk into what looks like the living room area, which has been turned into a study. “Whoa,” you say absent-mindedly as you run your fingers over the dusty books and papers crammed onto a mahogany bookshelf. You take note of all the notes sprawled across the desk, as well as the bottle of whiskey resting on top of them. This guy is one expert hunter, if you knew one.  
“I’m grabbing a beer, you guys want anything?” Dean says as he walks towards the kitchen. “I’ll take one,” Sam responds.  
“Heh. I’ll have whatever your friend is having,” you joke, holding up the half-empty whiskey bottle and swirling it’s contents. You hear the ancient stairs creak and you turn around to see an older man with a beard and trucker cap on at the bottom step.   
“Well, you don’t look like you gotta taste for the hard stuff, but help yourself if it suites ya.”   
You feel your face being washed over with a flush from being caught in the act. You nervously laugh and set the bottle back down. “Aha… Sorry ‘bout that,” you say.  
“Bobby! There you are you old drunk,” Dean chuckles. The man rolls his eyes then walks over to the brothers and gives each a firm handshake and half-hug. “It's been a while, boys. I see you’re both still in one piece; did you roast that Eve bitch without me?” Bobby says.   
“Not yet nor without you,” Sam responds. “We wanted you to meet our new accomplice on the ride to insanity.”  
Bobby turns to you and you’re suddenly the center of everyone’s attention as he walks over to you. “You must be crazy to go along side these two idjits and I on our suicide mission.” You laugh at his joke, which he seems to appreciate. “I guess I am then,” you say back.  
“Bobby.” He extends his hand to you. “Aya.” You warmly smile and shake his hand, already feeling more relaxed.  
You, the boys and Bobby all sit in the study, having a few drinks and talking about many different topics, ranging from how you all are going to kill Eve to the Winchester’s lives growing up. You learn that Bobby has been like a father to the boys.   
You seem to learn more and more about the boys every day, you think to yourself.   
You gave your Gameboy to Dean and he hasn't put it down since. "Damn, this is pretty addicting, I'll admit," Dean says reluctantly after being proved wrong.  
After about an hour of conversation, Bobby stands up and stretches. “Hey Aya, mind if I talk to you in private for a minute?” Bobby says in your direction. You blink a few times and agree, standing up and stretching before you follow Bobby outside and leaving the boys to themselves.  
“What’s goin’ on Bobby?” You ask. Bobby sighs as he looks at the ground, staying silent for a moment before speaking. “You can never come back from this, ya know.” You are taken back for a moment, surprised at the sudden seriousness. “What do you mean?” You ask. He doesn't answer right away, so you continue. “If you mean hunting, we’re _way_ past that. I’ve been living the hunter's lifestyle since I was a kid you kn-”  
“I mean partnering with us.” You are silent, not sure what to say or what exactly he means.  
“The boys are part of something bigger, bigger than anything you've ever had to hunt or experience in your life,” Bobby solemnly says. “If you are serious about working with them, I just want you to know the risks. Everyone that we have worked with in the past, they all suffer from one of two fates: they either partner with and help us for life, or they get killed in the process of trying to.”  
You weigh his words in your head, taking everything he says into play. “I know you’re a capable hunter, you've proven that to them so that’s good enough for me. And there’s something different about you, Aya. There’s a drive in you that we could really utilize in the team. Quite frankly, you’re different than any other hunter I've ever met.” You appreciate the compliment, despite all the thoughts surrounding it.   
“But I just want to make sure you fully understand what you’re walking into, because once you do, you can’t walk back out.”  
You eyes scan the ground momentarily, weighing your options and searching your thoughts. After a minute or two, you look up and meet Bobby’s eyes.   
“If what you’re saying is true, then I was born to die with the Winchesters.”   
Bobby seems taken back by your sudden certainty. “I haven’t truly lived for a long time, most of my life was lived out feeling like I was boxed up. I've always felt there was a greater purpose for me than just working a case once every few weeks. I've got no living blood relatives, and little to lose. I think was made to fight with them, to stand against humanity’s worst threats. I don’t want to go back from this, because this is my forward.”  
Bobby blinks a few times, then gives you a warm smile and a low chuckle. “Well then. Welcome to Team Free Will, Aya. You've earned your spot in my book.” You give Bobby a hug and you two head back inside to get ready for your journey to find Eve.


	5. You would know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader and Castiel learn more about each other and the conversation takes an interesting turn.
> 
> This chapter was inspired by a song (not a songfic chapter)! Listen as you read for the full effect:
> 
> She Was - Seven Lions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, finally a little fluff! Gotta love how I slipped my name in as the pit stop town lol. I feel like this was my favorite/best chapter to write so far, I really enjoy how it came out. I hope you guys like it!--

It’s been hours since you laid down and you haven’t slept a wink.

You, Sam, Dean and Bobby decided to make pit stop in Cheyenne, Wyoming to rest before heading out on the road again to try and find Eve. You and the team camp in a hotel you've stayed at a handful of times with your parents when you were a kid. These beds were a lot softer then, you think. You sigh and turn over for probably the millionth time tonight and stare at the wall your bed is against. Another twenty minutes pass before you finally give up, swinging your legs off the side of your bed and stretching. You look around into the darkness of your hotel room, silently thanking the heavens that the guys have their own room. You like to sleep in your underwear after all, and wouldn't that be awkward if you shared a room? You walk over to your duffel bag and slip on a pair of fleece-lined leggings, a hoodie and your boots. Steel-toe, of course. You head out of your hotel room and walk to the end of the hall towards the staircase. If your memory serves you right, the doorknob to the roof door is still jammed, courtesy of twelve-year-old you, making it impossible to lock.  
You reach the top of the stair case, jiggle the knob and the door creaks open. “Sweet."  
You step out onto the roof and into the crisp morning air; it fills your lungs to the brim and you breathe out a puff of white smoke. It’s like the essence of life, you think as you walk through the gravel. You walk close to the edge of the building and look over the horizon of the town, focusing on the mountains and hills scraping the sky in the distance. You look down and see the muted street lights and sleeping cars that line the streets. You sit down just before the ledge and look all around you, allowing the early air to be your morning coffee. Judging by how the sun hasn't made an appearance yet, you guess it’s probably around four am.  
You like sleeping in, you really do. But you've always had sleeping problems, and you're more of a morning person anyways. You love the cold air and vibrant sunrises and birds chirping. Mornings give you… Clarity.  
You think about the guys, and hope for their sake that they got at least a two-bed room. The thought of Bobby, Sam, and Dean all piled on one bed makes you laugh. You think about what’s in store for you when you find Eve. You think about the vast world that’s out there. You think about wendigos and vampires and werewolves and demons and… Angels.  
Castiel.

“You called?”

You jump away from the voice so quickly that your feet skid on the gravel of the roof, and you fall. Well, almost fall. You feel the firm arms that saved you from scrape-city wrap around you and pull you up to your feet, their body warmth emanating into you and taking the edge away from the cold. You look up and your eyes meet crystal-clear blue ones.  
It’s Castiel.  
Your face begins to heat up, further pushing the morning cold from your skin. “Uhhh” is all you can manage to squeeze out of yourself until Castiel breaks the ice that wasn't supposed to be there. “I apologize, Aya. I didn't mean to startle you,” Castiel says, still staring into your eyes. “It’s..alright,” you say. There’s a moment of awkward silence before Castiel finally lets go of you.  
“I heard you say my name… I came to make sure you were alright.” The angel says, trying to hide the awkward tone in his voice. “Yea… I’m okay. I just couldn't sleep so I came up here to think, that’s all,” you say to him, trying not to make eye contact. It’s not Castiel making you embarrassed, necessarily speaking. It’s the fact that he was just holding you in such a vulnerable pose. You _hate_ looking vulnerable.  
You sit back down on the floor and gather your thoughts again. You’re not as buddy-buddy with the angel as you are the boys, but you find Castiel… peaks your interest, to say the least. You've wanted to learn more about him since you two first met, but it’s kind of hard when he’s never around.

Maybe you finally got your chance.

Castiel takes a step away from you. “I’m sorry for disturbing you, Aya. I should not have come. I’ll be leaving n-”  
“Don’t leave,” you interrupt him as you look up to meet his gaze again.  
You blink a few times, unsure if the words actually left your mouth or not. Castiel seems a little taken back, so they must have. “I thought you wanted to be alone,” he says, finally breaking the silence. “Well... I wasn’t expecting company while I was up here, but I don’t mind if you stay. Unless you were in the middle of something then-"  
Your sentence is cut short when he slowly sits down on the gravel with you, just a few feet away. “Okay,” you say quietly. A few minutes pass and neither of you say anything, so you search your brain for something to start a conversation. You want to get to know Castiel, but you want to do it subtly so you don’t seem creepy.  
“So what’s it like being an angel?” _Well fuck_. So much for being subtle.  
Castiel looks at you momentarily before sighing and looking onto the navy-blue horizon. “Well…” He seems to be trying to find the right words. “It comes with a great deal of responsibility. We have abilities that are unique to our species, as you may know,” he says, lowering his voice by half to say the last part. “We can fly between locations swifter than the speed of light, we have super strength, we can kill monsters with a single touch, we can communicate telepathically, we can read minds.” Your face flushes a little at his finishing words, hoping he hasn't seen inside your head in the last twenty minutes.  
“But only if we choose to do so. We don’t constantly read the minds of individuals around us,” he reassures. “Oh, I see,” you say.  
Great, silence again. Awesome.  
A few more minutes pass by before you say anything again. “When I was young, my mom and I would make hot chocolate and get up on a flat spot on our roof really early in the morning, then watch the sun rise over the horizon,” you say, looking at the hills in the distance. “It’s some of my favorite memories with her. She’s probably why I love nature in general so much; she used to collect butterflies and press flowers when she wasn’t hunting.” Castiel stares at you, analyzing your face along with your words. “I often think it's because of her that I have a particularly strong appreciation for life, and feeling alive. So anything that goes bump in the night and takes that away from innocents, I feel the need to take down. I think that’s really why I became a hunter. Not because my parents were, but because they taught me to have a lot of empathy.”  
You turn your gaze to meet the angel’s. “Every life is precious, everyone deserves a chance.”  
Castiel scoots a little closer to you. “I understand,” he says slowly. “I have been around for… a long time. God gave me the responsibility to watch over humanity, to make sure his best creation to existence thrived. I have learned a lot over the thousands of years I have witnessed humans evolve and grow, but if I’m being honest? I have learned more about what it means to be human during the last few years I’ve spent with the Winchesters, than I have since I was created.”

You are a little surprised Castiel is opening up so much to you, but it’s a good surprise. It’s exactly what you wanted.

“Aya… angels have something called ‘grace’." The mention sharpens your thoughts a bit. "What is it?" you ask, now very curious. "Grace is something we as angels are blessed with; it’s what gives us our powers and ability to be, well, angels.” You scoot a little closer, closing the gap between you two to little over a foot. “Really? So that’s what gives you your angel mojo,” you say, leaning on your hands and tilting your head up to look at the dark sky above. “I suppose so,” Castiel continues.  
“But in some forms… It’s not all it’s made up to be. It prevents angels from feeling emotions as humans do. It keep us, as Dean describes it, ' _in check_ ,’ so we follow orders without question, no matter what they be, and so we don’t get attached to the species we were sent to protect and serve.” You look Castiel in his eyes, and he almost looks a little sad. “But Sam and Dean have taught me the importance of free will, and, even though I still don’t understand them sometimes, emotions. I am very thankful to the Winchesters for that. I did many things I am not proud of when I wasn't capable of them. I’m more human now compared to most angels, I suppose.” You smile at Castiel's words.  
“They’re pretty unusual aren't they? Emotions,” you say.  
“Yes, indeed they are,” Castiel responds, keeping your eye contact.  
You feel your heartbeat pick up a little when Castiel’s gaze trails down to your necklace, a small silver hourglass with a slip of paper rolled up inside, as well as a little sand. “My father gave it to me for my thirteenth birthday,” you say, heart still thumping loudly in your ears. _What is it about this angel that puts you on edge?_  
“He said it would give me direction in life.”  
Castiel finally looks away to the ground and you take a deep breath. “I see,” he solemnly says. You look back onto the horizon to see an array of colors peeping over the mountains. “Look,” you say to the angel, pointing to the sunrise. You smile. “Just as beautiful as I remember,” you say quietly, unsure if the angel heard you or not.  
You don’t notice, but Castiel’s gaze follows up to your lips, seeing the smile curving the corners of your mouth. He smiles too. After about fifteen minutes of watching the sun rise, Castiel breaks the silence with quiet and slow words.

“Aya, do you like being human?”

You’re startled by the question, unsure of how to answer. “Well,” you start. “Nobody’s really asked me that before… I guess I do. As opposed to what, though?” Castiel watches the sky fill with pinks and oranges.  
“You would know,” he says quietly.  
Instead of asking what he means, you just leave it at that. Angels are mysterious, you guess. You feel the calmness of the moment wash over you, and you feel content. Your tiredness is finally catching up to you in the form of heavy eyelids.  
“Castiel,” you say, starting to drift closer to sleep. He stiffens at the mention of his name.  
“Yes?” He responds.

“Do you like feeling human?” You finish. You don’t hear his response as you slump to the side and fall asleep leaning against him.

-


	6. Friendly Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and the gang are ready to kill Eve, but you'll need a little help from a passive vampire first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter ended up being so long, I had to cut it in two! These next two chapters have a lot of the original dialog from the episode "Mommy Dearest"; I wanted them to be as close to the original script as possible. Hope you enjoy! 
> 
> Got comments, suggestions, criticism? Don't be scared to comment! always appreciated xo

You woke up in your hotel bed, disoriented and a slight headache. You turn over in your sheets and look at the digital clock on your nightstand.

"It's _noon_ ?! Fucking shit," you say, stumbling out of your bed. Man, you really gotta get rid of your insomnia somehow; it's mixing up your days and nights. You clumsily walk over to your dresser to put on clothes so you can join the boys in their room when you realize you're already clothed... And remember what happened this morning. "Aw _hell_ ," you curse under your breath, recalling that you fell asleep on Castiel. He doesn't seem like the kind of person who likes physical contact. He's also gotta be the reason you woke up in your bed instead of on the roof, too. Great, you slept on him and he carried you to your bed afterwards. He probably thinks you're weird now. Your thoughts are cut short when you hear a knock on your hotel room's door.  
Dean's muffled voice sounds through the thin barrier. "Aya, you awake yet? I could use a hand in our room." "Yea I'm up, gimme five and I'll be over to help," you call back.  
Once you brush your hair and teeth and put on your boots, you head out of your room and head to the boys'. You walk in the door to find Dean alone, making bullets at an old birch wood table.  
"Whatcha need Dean?" You say, walking over to the table and scanning the tools splayed about. "This is what we're ganking Eve with," Dean says as he hammers the first bullet closed. You pick up the bottle of black soot that he's been carefully pouring into the bullet shells. "This isn't gun powder," you say, shaking the bottle a little. "Phoenix ash," Dean responds. "It's the only thing that can kill 'the mother of all'," he continues, filling Eve's nickname with derision. "Help me make em?"  
"Sure," you say, sitting down and grabbing the needed materials. "Make sure you wear gloves, this crap is dangerous," Dean says, handing you industrial-level gloves. Once you put them on, it didn't take long for you two to finish three more bullets, since there was only enough ash for six casings.  
"So where are Sam, Bobby and angel boy?" You ask, placing the four finished bullets onto a stand. You can't say or think you-know-who's name without him popping up, and you're still trying to get over your embarrassment from early this morning.  
"Castiel is off doing angel biz, you know him. Sam and Bobby are at a cafe next door trying to find anything that could lead us to Eve," Dean says.  
Shit, he said his name, you think to yourself. You mentally prepare for the angel to show up and call you a freak for passing out on him, but he doesn't show. "What?" You question under your breath. "What?" Dean responds, hearing you think out loud. "Oh, nothin'. Don't worry about it," you say, trying to sweat it off. Dean shrugs and goes back to making the last two bullets while you itch your brain for answers. Why did the angel show up at the _smallest_ mental mention of his name from you, but not when Dean said his name out loud?  
Your train of thought is derailed when you hear Dean curse. You look over to him and see he spilled the last bullet shell full of ash onto his arm due to the limited grip of his gloved hands. He goes to quickly brush off the ash so he doesn't get burned, but nothing happens. "What the _fuck_?" He says as he takes off a glove to rub ash between his fingers. "This shit is supposed to burn the living hellfire out of Eve, but it doesn't do _squat_ to me?" You're about to answer him when Sam and Bobby walk through the door, displeasure spread across their faces.  
"So?" Dean says in Sam's direction. "Nothin'. Couldn't find a single lead," Sam responds. Dean sighs.  
"Yea well we're not having much luck here," Dean says as he rubs at the ash on his forearm so his brother can see. "I had a mishap a minute ago and we found out this shit doesn't do anything to us. How is it supposed to take down Eve?" Dean says angrily. "Well... Maybe it's like iron or silver," Sam says.  
"Hurts them, not us," you finish his sentence, and Sam nods. "Well let's hope so. So how are we gonna find the bitch if we got no leads?" Dean says.  
"Maybe it's time you make a call to someone who can help," Bobby speaks in Dean's direction.  
Dean looks around the room at everyone staring at him, including you, before scoffing, "Why is it always _me_ who's gotta make the calls? It's not like Cas lives in my ass, the guy's busy."  
A flutter of wings sound through the room and Castiel finally appears behind Dean, startling him. "Cas get out of my ass!" Castiel squints at his words. "I was never in your-" he trails off, obviously confused.  
You stifle a giggle under your hand, thinking how Castiel looks like a puzzled puppy. Unfortunately, Castiel somehow heard it and turned his sights on you.  
"Good afternoon, Aya. I see that you slept much better after this morning."  
Your face starts to heat up from embarrassment, not knowing what to say without spilling the beans about this morning to the boys. Dean is about to ask you what Cas means when the angel turns to Sam and Bobby.  
"Have you made any progress on locating Eve?" Castiel asks them, thankfully leaving no room for Dean's questioning. "Nada. We couldn't find anything on where she is. That's why we called you, to see if you can find her," Sam says.  
"I have not found anything either. I think she's warded against me; hidden from all angels," Castiel responds. "Fan-freaking-tastic," Dean scoffs, leaning back in his chair and putting his feet up on the rickety table. "So what now?"  
Everyone is silent for a moment, trying to think of a solution. "Maybe we need an inside man, a mole of sorts who can direct us to her," Sam says. "Ya know, something that has sympathy and goes bump in the night."  
"I've never met a Mr.Rodgers with fangs before," you say. "I thought friendly monsters didn't exist."  
"Yea they're rare, but we have met a few, surprisingly," Sam says.  
"Hey... what about Lenore?" Dean says. "Who's Lenore?" You inquiry.  
"She's a passive vampire we met a few years back who doesn't feed on humans, only cattle. She belongs to a group of vamps who swore off human blood so they could keep peace and live among humans," Sam explains. You lean back in your chair, mimicking Dean. "And just when I thought I heard it all," you say, blowing a lock of hair out of your face. "Are you sure she's harmless? My last encounter with vamps didn't go well..." A small lump forms in your throat as you choke down the memory. "Completely, I promise," Sam reassures. You're still uneasy, but you trust the Winchester bloodline's judgement.  
"So we just need to find Lenore and see if she knows anyth-"  
Sam's sentence is cut short when Castiel disappears and reappears, holding the arm of a young woman.  
You and Dean stand up from your chairs. As soon as the woman realized where she was, she ripped her arm out of Castiel's grip and sprinted for the door. Sam leaps in the way and blocks the exit, trapping her. " _Hey hey hey_ Lenore it's okay, we're not gonna hurt you. Remember me? It's Sam." Lenore takes a step back, eyes flickering from person to person.  
"What do you want from me, Winchesters? Why am I here?"  
Dean steps forward to say something, but Lenore takes another step back, obviously bewildered and afraid. You press Dean back and you slowly step forward. This isn't working with the boys; they're only scaring her more; as much as you'd rather not mingle with one of the kind that ripped your parents to shreds, you have to get answers on Eve somehow. Your heart is racing, but you gotta take one for the team. You swallow your nerves and reach your hand out to Lenore before introducing yourself.  
"Hi, I'm Aya. I'm a friend of the knuckleheads." "Hey," Dean says, offended. You ignore his interruption and continue. "None of these guys are gonna hurt you, I'm not either. We just need to ask you about something important." Lenore's gaze shoots to your dad's hunting knife strapped to your side. You take it off of you and slowly set it on the table behind you.  
"We just want to talk, that's all. I promise."  
Your hand is still outstretched to her. Lenore hesitates for a few moments, but finally takes your hand cautiously in hers. Your heart rate is still high, but it's slowing now that you got on her good side. Good thing too, since she can hear it as well due to vampiric abilities. "I'm taking her to my room to calm down a little before we talk," you say to the boys, gingerly leading her to the door as Sam steps aside.  
"What? Aya, we don't have time for this," Dean barks. You give him a cold squint and say, "There's always time for kindness."  
You and Lenore walk into your hotel room and you gesture to a chair in the corner of the room. Lenore slowly walks over to it and sits while you rummage through your mini fridge, pulling out an uncooked steak. You were saving it for tonight, but it seems like she needs it more. Lenore looks like she hasn't fed in a few days at least. "Here, it's not much, but I hope it'll suffice," you say as you put the raw meat on the table in front of her. Her eyes widen and she carefully takes the plate. "T-Thank you."  
As she feasts on the steak, your heart rate slowly reverts to a normal pace once you realize she really is harmless. You talk about how you met the Winchesters and that you travel with them now, and her nerves seem to calm a little as well. She doesn't say much, but you two talk for a few minutes before you stand up and walk to the door. "I'm gonna bring the boys in, that okay?" You ask, making sure she's comfortable seeing them now that she's calm. She nods her head, giving you the answer you need to open the door and fetch everyone.  
"Okay, you can interrogate her now, but _be nice_ Dean, she's helping us," you say, wagging a finger in his direction. "Yeah yeah I'll try mom," Dean scoffs as you all head back to your room.  
"So why am I here?" Lenore asks as you close the door after Castiel, then walk in behind the guys. Sam walks over to Lenore and solemnly says, "We need to ask you some things; About Eve."  
Lenore's face twists into a look of offense. " _Eve_? I have _nothing_ to say about Eve," she hisses. She looks at Sam and Dean in the eye before turning her gaze to you. "I'm trying to stay as far away from her as possible. Believe me on that." Dean steps forward and presses both hands to the table. "Yeah and what about your group?" He questions.  
"Gone. They couldn't fight it anymore."  
" _What_ couldn't they fight? Spill it," Dean says, leaning closer to Lenore, which in turn causes her to lean into the back of her chair. "Dean," you say, grabbing his shoulder, making him step away. "It's okay, you can tell us," you continue. Lenore looks into your eyes, and hers take on a look of sadness.  
"It's her voice, it's in our heads. All our heads, actually; every monster can hear her. She drives us to insanity, so my group left. They started killing again." Lenore's gaze lowers to the floor. "But not you," Sam pipes in.  
"Don't act so sure of yourself. I locked myself away for weeks to resist, but it's so hard not to give into her impulses. Everyone does at some point," she says as she looks at Sam.  
"So this psychic game of telephone you two got goin' on, does that mean you know where she is right now?" Dean firmly asks. Lenore let's out a half-laugh. "Are... Are you serious?" She looks at you. "Is he serious?" You don't say anything, so she continues. "She could be listening in on us _right now_ , you know. Are you insane?"  
"So no element of surprise then," Bobby mumbles. "But regardless, we need to know where she is if we're gonna put a stop to this, to her plans," you say. Lenore doesn't respond.  
"Look Lenore, I know you don't want to kill, and certainly don't want this whole planet annihilated. So please," Sam speaks. Lenore looks up at Sam as says, "Do you really think you can stop her?" You take Lenore's hand in yours and her gaze switches to you. "Only if you tell us where she is."  
Lenore looks to the floor, contemplating what to say. After a moment, she finally speaks up.  
"Grants pass, Oregon. And now she knows you're coming for her. Be ready."  
"Well, let's stop wasting daylight then," Bobby says. You stand up and Lenore tugs at your hand. "Wait," she says. "I didn't tell you this out of generosity. I need something from you guys." Your brow furrows. "What is it?" You ask.

"Kill me."

Everyone is taken back by the young woman's words. "Lenore..." Sam somberly says. "I'm dangerous, Sam," she says sternly as she stands up and slowly walks around the table.  
"I fed. I couldn't control myself, and now I won't be able to stop. I'll keep killing against my will," she continues, tears filling her eyes. She grabs your shoulders gently and you can see the pain in her eyes. "You have to, please."  
"Lenore, we-" your words are cut short when Castiel firmly pulls you away from the vampire and to the side.  
"Don't look," he says to you.  
Castiel presses his hand to Lenore's forehead and smites her, a white light glowing through her eyes and mouth. Castiel removes his hand and Lenore's lifeless body drops to the floor, eyes burnt out.  
You were shocked that Castiel killed Lenore without a wasted moment, but you understand that it's what she wanted. If he didn't do it, she would have found a way to off herself. Even if it _was_ preventable, you just don't have the spare moment; you need to get to Eve. Castiel turns to you, looking sad but quite serious.  
"It had to be done, we need to get moving. We can't let Eve escape."


	7. Friendly Fire pt.2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team free will drive to Grants Pass, Oregon to put a bullet in Eve, but the reader feels tension between her and Cas. Can she kill two birds with one stone?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooooooo boy this turned out to be a lot longer than I thought! But nonetheless, it was very fun to write. I just HAD to add a lil' fluff in this chapter sorry not sorry--
> 
> got any comments, suggestions, criticism? Don't be afraid to comment! Always appreciated xoxo
> 
> enjoy!!

Just a moment ago you were in your hotel room, and now you’re standing under a willow tree in what looks like a town square. You feel lightheaded and almost fall over, but you feel arms wrap around your waist, keeping you from colliding with the ground. Of course, they're Castiel’s arms. You really gotta stop falling.

“Whoa, Aya take it easy,” Dean says as Castiel sits you down on a nearby bench. “W-What the _hell_ was that?” You say, rubbing one temple in attempt to steady your vision. “Sometimes passengers can be a little… shaken when transported from place to place with angels,” Castiel says to Dean before he kneels down in front of you to look up at your face. Great, getting flustered is _exactly_ what you need right now, thanks Cas. “It can happen for first-time flyers. I’m sorry that I did not warn you beforehand, Aya. Are you alright?” Your vision comes back to you for the most part, but you keep your head covered to let the burning color leave your cheeks. “Yea, I’m alright Cas. Just give me a moment and I’ll be good to walk again.” Once you reassure that you’re fine, Castiel stands up and walks away from you, putting a considerable amount of space in between you. He doesn't want to be near me, does he? You think to yourself. After a few more minutes, your face returned to its normal tone and you stand up, knees still slightly weak.  
“Okay, so where do we start then lady and gentlemen?” Dean says, scanning the town around them. “Let’s go to that diner over there and see if we can get any bites from the police reports,” Bobby replies. The five of you walk into the diner and pick an open booth next to a window. A few minutes pass while Bobby looks through recent police records online.  
“Anything?” You ask Bobby. “Just petty stuff, nothing weird. I got squat,” Bobby says as he shrugs.  
“I’ll search the town; be back in a moment,” Cas says. You watch and wait for the angel to marvel you with his disappearing act, but he just sits and stares into the distance. “Uhhmm Cas? You’re still here,” you say. “I am indeed still here,” Castiel reiterates.  
“Well don’t let us keep you waiting, go ahead,” Dean says, gesturing for Castiel to do his thing. The angel closes his eyes hard and his brow ruffles in concentration. “Okay now it just looks like you’re taking a dump,” Dean scoffs, and you can’t help but giggle. Castiel opens his eyes and looks at you, but you can’t read his expression. It almost looks like you hurt his feelings? You automatically feel guilty from the thought, so you stop laughing.  
“Something’s wrong,” Castiel says. “I think I’m blocked. I’m powerless.” Sam scoffs from across the table. “You’re kidding?”  
“I wish I was,” Castiel responds. “Something has been done to cancel out my powers. I can only assume it’s Eve’s presence.”  
“Hey, I got something,” Bobby says, breaking the previous conversation. Sam leans over to look at the tablet’s screen. “Good news?” He asks Bobby. “Possibly. A doctor called in an illness he didn't recognize. Patient’s name is Ed Bright,” Bobby says to the table. “Well it’s not much, but it’s better than nothing,” Dean replies, sipping his coffee. “Looks like I got a doctor’s appointment, then,” you say as you stand and stretch. “You guys coming?”  
“Bobby and I will go pay a visit to the doctor’s house; you guys go to his office and see if you can get alone with him,” Sam says. He and Bobby stand up from the booth as well, followed by Castiel and Dean.  
You, Castiel, and Dean go to the doctor’s office to find he’s not there, his nurse telling you three that he called in sick yesterday. You three go around the back to see if you can get in when you spot small drips of blood near a shed. Dean breaks open the door to find Ed Bright’s mangled, gooey corpse wrapped in tarp. "Holy shit. Poor dude," you say.  
“We gotta get some kerosene,” Dean says as you three look upon the body.  
Once you’re finished burning the corpse, you and the gang all plan to meet up at Ed Bright’s house to talk to his roommates. “Does Ed Bright have a brother?” Castiel asks Bobby. “No, why?” He responds. Castiel points to the living room window of the house, where Ed is closing the curtains.  
“Then that’s not his twin brother.”  
“What the fuck is happening?” You say. “I don’t know,” Sam says.  
“Dean and I are going in. If something comes out, shoot it,” he continues as he hands both you and Castiel pistols. Sam and Dean enter the barricaded house, leaving you, Castiel and Bobby to anxiously wait. You wonder if Castiel is acting upset because of the other night, so you try to strike up a conversation to see how he acts towards you.  
“So Cas,” you start as you kick some dirt and hope you don’t sound awkward. “You said you’re blocked from using your angel mojo. Does that mean you’re basically human until we put a bullet in Eve?” Castiel turns to you and looks you in the eye. You silently hope that angels can’t hear heartbeats, because yours is pounding in your ears right now.  
“Well, temporarily I suppose I am, in a small way,” he replies, not breaking eye contact. You chuckle nervously, not being able to read his facial expressions. Damnit, _why is he so hard to read_?  
“Well, welcome to Bobby and I's world for the time being, then.” You lightheartedly gesture to the older man pacing in the grass in attempt to make him smile, but Castiel’s brow furrows a little at your words, and he ultimately looks away.  
“Yes, your world,” he says so quietly you almost don’t hear it.  
_Fuck_. Yep, he’s upset. You should have never gone up to the roof that night; it ruined the little friendship you had with the angel. Sam and Dean finally walk out of the house with faces of question and confusion. They reveal the house is full of dead shifters, all looking like Ed Bright, and tell you about their conversation with one of the roommates before he died.  
“I don’t get it, how does a whole house of college buddies just end up shifters _and_ all croak overnight?” You question.  
“Shifters usually run in blood-related families; this seems more like a spreading infection,” Bobby adds. “You guys didn't touch anything right?” You ask Sam and Dean.  
“No but I’m definitely taking a bath in hand sanitizer tonight,” Dean says sarcastically.  
“The roommate said they met a girl, so assuming it’s Eve,” Sam says. “But why would she do this?” Castiel adds. “Big momma monster making more babies?” Bobby questions.  
“But if she’s making an army, why are they all sick and dying?” Dean says. You look at the house, then turn on your heel and walk towards the car. “I don’t know, but I think we should hit the bar they were at and see what else we've got on our plates.”  
You and the team head to the bar Ed and his roommate were last seen at, only to walk in and find the place trashed and completely _littered_ with bodies.  
“Holy shit,” you say as you walk inside, careful not to step in the pools of blood scattered across the floor. “Looks like we missed happy hour.” Dean walks over to a body and examines it’s teeth with a napkin to find it has a set of razor-sharp fangs. “Got a vamp over here,” Dean calls out to you and the boys. He picks up the body’s wrist and notices a sharp prong sticking out from the skin.  
“Nope, scratch that- wraith.” He drops the wrist and turns to you and Bobby. “What kind of fresh hell is this?” Dean continues.  
“I don’t know, I've never read of anything with teeth _and_ a spike,” Sam joins in.  
“So Eve’s making hybrids now?” You ask. “But why? What does she want with a-” Dean pauses to kick a body on the ground. “What would you call these?” “Well you discovered it, so you name it. Congrats Dean,” Bobby says. Dean thinks as he kicks the body one more time.

“Jefferson starships.”

Everyone but Dean is confused, brows furrowing all around. “Get it? Because there horrible, and hard to kill,” Dean says, spreading out his arms in pride of his mediocre joke. You can’t help but slump your shoulders and groan, which in turn makes Dean’s smile even bigger. “Well, looks like the whole bar is full of… Starships. But why are they all dead?” Sam says as he examines another body.  
“I am not certain, but they’re bodily signs point to as though they all burned up. Like a high fever their bodies couldn't take,” Castiel responds. You and Dean are across the bar, bent down next to a counter and looking at another body when the bar doors swing open.  
“Hands where I can seem them!” You look up and it’s the sheriff with two officers. Dean grabs your jacket sleeve and ushers you behind the counter. “ _Go go go_ ,” he whispers, crouch-walking soon behind. “It’s not what it looks like,” you hear Castiel say from the other side of the room.  
“You guys aren't Feds. The Feds aren't allowed to do this. Cuff em’.” You hear three sets of handcuffs being pressed closed and bodies shuffled out of the bar. Once you hear car engines roar and pull out of the driveway, you and Dean stand up and jog outside to the impala.  
“Okay, what now?” You ask as you buckle your seat belt. “We follow them,” Dean responds as he starts up baby and pulls into the road. “I got a feeling those cops aren't who they say they are either.”  
You follow the cops to the station and watch them yank Bobby, Sam and Castiel inside the building. “Here.” You look over and Dean hands you a machete. “Gotta go in prepared.” You and Dean jog through the front doors and peak into the main room just in time to see Sam headbutt one of the cops.  
“Jefferson starships!” Sam yells out. You and Dean run in; Dean going after the cop on Sam, you after the one now pinning Castiel against a wall. Just before the cop can sink it’s teeth into the angel, you swing your machete and slice his head clean in two, splattering you and Castiel with blood. Castiel is about to say something when you notice Dean finished off Sam’s assailant, and is about to kill the sheriff.  
“ _Dean wait!_ ” you yell as you hold back his machete-wielding arm. “He could be useful.”  
You uncuff Castiel, Bobby and Sam and they escort the sheriff into an interrogation room, where they chain him down to a chair. Bobby and Castiel stay inside while you and the Winchester twins watch from a one-way observation window. They are about to start questioning him when everyone hears a door open and close in another part of the station.  
“More Jefferson starships,” you say. “Stay here,” Dean says to you, Castiel and Bobby. “I’m coming with you boneheads,” you scoff.  
“No you need to stay h-”  
you cut Dean off by grabbing your machete from the table and start walking. You aren't gonna be left out on the action; you are stubborn as a mule, after all. “There’s no use nor time to argue with her, Dean,” Sam says to his brother. “Yea whatever.”  
You three check the front and back entrances, then the cells used for containing prisoners. You walk in to find two young boys tied up and gagged in the first cell to your right. You lower your machete; you recognize the boys. “You’re Doctor Silver’s boys, aren't you?"you say, approaching the cell. They nod in agreement. "Don’t be scared, we’re gonna get you out of here okay?” You speak in a reassuring tone.  
“Keys,” Dean mutters as he jogs out of the room to fetch the keys to the cells. “I’m Aya, this is Sam and that’s his brother Dean. We got rid of the bad cops, and they’re not ever coming back.” Dean comes back with the keys, opens the lock, and you three walk into the cell.  
“What are your names?” Sam says as he removes their gags. “Joe,” the older brother speaks up. “And this is Ryan.” You turn to the younger, sheepish brother. “Hi Ryan, I’m Aya.” He doesn't say anything back; looks like we got a silent one, you think to yourself. “Okay boys, we’re gonna get you two outta here safe but we gotta make sure you are really you, ok?” Dean explains as he kneels in front of the boys.  
After passing the usual monster tests, you uncuff the boys and rejoin Castiel and Bobby in the main room. Dean talks to the boys for a few minutes and discovers they have an uncle fifteen minutes outside of town.  
“Alright, we’ll get you there,” Dean reassures them. “Dean,” Castiel says, taking on a serious expression and tone as he walks up. Dean and the angel walk to the opposite side of the room while you and Sam stay with the kids. You can’t hear much of their conversation, but you do hear the phrase “Eve is more important right now” come from Castiel. Dean walks back, looking a little annoyed.  
“Okay guys let’s go. Aya, you stay here; Sam and I will be back in a flash.” You nod and tell them to drive safe before they walk out the doors to the station.  
You turn to see the blue-eyed angel getting lost in his thoughts. “Castiel?” you say quietly as you take a step towards him. He looks up at you with a mix of concern and disappointment in his eyes, then walks over to Bobby without a word. You sigh and lean against a table. Man, you really messed things up.  
“They won’t be long, Cas,” Bobby says, breaking the momentary silence. “You don’t know that for certain,” Castiel responds, eyes shifting around the room for something to focus on. When you stand up from the table and make your way over to them, you become that something. You really wish he didn't stare; it makes your nerves stand straight.  
“Nothing we can do about it now,” you explain. “We just gotta focus on finding Eve while they’re gone.” Bobby gives you a look of agreement before turning to Castiel once more.  
“She’s got a point. We can sit here squandering, or we can find out coordinates on Eve from mommy’s little monstrosity in there.” Bobby’s gaze shifts between you and Castiel. “So who wants to poke the pig first?” You raise a hand and flick your wrist. “Oh, my interrogation skills are a little rusty, you guys have the honors,” you say. Castiel holds an open hand out to Bobby.  
“Give me five minutes alone with him,” Castiel says. “I can get the coordinates from him.” After a moment, Bobby hands him his blade. Once Castiel has it in his grasp, he turns to you before he walks into the room.  
“You’re not going to want to watch this, please stay out here and secure the front entrance.” You slowly nod and walk towards the front doors. Even if Castiel really is upset with you, it’s nice to know he still doesn't want you to see the brutal stuff, despite you being able to handle it.  
Your thought is cut short by the sound of the monster sheriff screaming. You try to drown them out by taking out your cellphone and playing your favorite band’s music out loud. After exactly five minutes, Castiel walks out of the interrogation room wiping his hands and coat of blood. You are worried by the sight, but relax once you realize it’s not his. “Eve is at twenty-five Buckley street. Call Sam and Dean,” Castiel says before he walks off. You and Bobby exchange looks, and you nervously follow the angel into another part of the station. You lose him momentarily, but you eventually find him in the chief officer’s quarters.  
“Hey,” you say softly while you stand in the doorway, trying to hide your nervousness. Castiel is looking outside through a window, his figure being illuminated by the moonlight.  
“I just needed a minute,” he quietly responds. You take a breath and step inside.  
“Listen, I just want to apologize.” Castiel’s brow furrows momentarily, but he keeps his focus outside. “What do you feel apologetic for?” He asks. You swallow and take another two steps toward him. “For the other night. On the roof,” you explain. “I’m sorry for making you share so much, and falling asleep on you. I know you like your personal space, and I completely invaded your bubble. I just wanted to say sorry, and that I hope you don’t think I’m too much of a freak.” Castiel looks like he wants to say something, but can’t find the right words.  
He turns to you and you let out a small gasp; the light of the moon hits his face in the most perfect way possible, leaving you in awe.  
It defines his sharp jawline, creates a shine on his perfectly-tousled locks of hair, reveals his pink lips’ fullness, gives his skin a radiant glow. And _his eyes_ … They are illuminated with an unearthly blue incandescence that sends a wave of heat surging through your whole body. When you realize you've been staring, your eyes widen and your nerves kick in. So much for not being nervous.

“Is that what you believe I think of you?”

Castiel takes a step toward you and your heartbeat thumps against your eardrums. He carefully lifts his hand and tucks a lock of hair behind your ear.  
God, is he _trying_ to get you to fall apart?  
“I enjoyed our time together on the roof. Quite thoroughly, actually,” he says slowly so you hear every word. “I do not think you are a ‘freak’. You are a unique and unusual person, but in a very good way. I did not mind sharing what I had said with you, because I trust you, Aya. I care about you, do not think that I don’t.” You’re so engulfed in his ethereal gaze, you’re not even sure how long you've been standing in his presence here.  
“And for what it is worth, I did not mind that you fell asleep against me. If I am being truthful… I did not want to move you at first, because you look very peaceful while you slumber. It was… calming for me.” You discretely push a fingernail into the palm of your hand to make sure you’re really hearing this, and you feel a small pain at the source. Yep, this is real all right.  
Castiel takes one more small step towards you, cutting the space between your bodies to less than a foot. You can hear a fast heartbeat, but you’re not sure if it’s only yours that you’re hearing anymore.  
“So… You’re not upset with me then?” You ask, speaking in a hushed tone. He tilts his head to the side a little. Oh god, that is _so_ cute.  
“Of course not. Why would you think that?” You suddenly feel very unsure of yourself.  
“Well… You've been acting kind of… distant since that morning, especially today. I just didn't know why, so I chalked it up to the roof incident.” Castiel seems confused at your words.

“I thought _you_ were upset with _me_.”

Okay hold on, now you’re confused. “Wait, _what_? I’m not upset with you! Why would _you_ think that?” you ask, mimicking his question. Castiel finally breaks his hold on your gaze and looks to the floor.  
“Whenever you’re around me… You seem troubled. Your heart rate increases substantially, and you seem uneasy. My presence seems to have a… negative affect on you,” Castiel confesses. You are astonished by what you’re hearing.

“ _No_!” You exclaim, making the angel step back a little. “No…” You lower your voice and step towards him once again. “I’m not _upset_ with you, Cas. Not at all. You don't have a negative effect on me.” His brow furrows. “Then why do you act this way whenever you are near me?” He questions.  
Shit shit shit shit. _What are you supposed to say?_  
“Well… it’s uhm…it’s because…”  
Before you can even attempt to get an excuse together, Sam knocks on the doorway, startling both you and and the angel. Castiel is suddenly five feet away from you.  
“Hey, everything okay?” Sam says. Castiel steps around you. “Yes, everything is just fine,” he says. And with that, he walks out the doorway past Sam.  
You and Sam exchange awkward eye contact, and you clear your throat in an attempt to clear your mind as well. “  
No use standing around, we got the mother of all to kill.” Back in the main room of the station, you and the team get ready to leave for Eve’s location.  
“So we each take a bullet,” Dean explains as he hands out the Phoenix ash bullets. “Load em’ up, make em’ count.” You look to Castiel and he only looks away, pretending nothing ever happened.  
You and the team drive to to Eve’s coordinates and it just so happens to be the diner from earlier today. “Are you fucking _kidding_ me? She’s been in there the _whole_ time? ” Dean angrily says. “Why’d she let us in then?” Sam contemplates. “Or out,” you chime in.  
“Only one way to find out,” Dean continues. “What, and just bust in there?” Bobby scoffs.  
“No, Sam and I will go in and draw her out. If we can’t make the shot, make sure you guys do.” Dean says as him and Sam get ready to go inside. You grab Sam’s shirt sleeve. “Wait, I’m going in, too,” you say.  
“No, it’s too dangerous, Aya,” Sam replies.  
“Don’t act like I’m made of porcelain. Trust me, I can come in handy in there,” you say sternly, glancing at both the brothers. Dean sighs, and says,“Fine. Just stay close.” You three are about to leave when Castiel gently grabs your shoulder, sending a familiar heat down your back.  
“Aya,” he starts, turning you to face him. “Be careful. Please.”  
His pleading eyes make you blush, so you give a smile of reassurance. “I’ll come back out in one piece, promise. And if not, looks like you’ll just have to catch me before I fall again."  
You three walk into the diner, Dean holding the duffle bag of weapons, and sit on the front-line stools. Sam take out his phone and scans everyone around you with its camera. “Crap. All starships,” he whispers to you and Dean. “Then let’s get out of here, shall we?” Dean replies. You all stand up to leave when a brunette waitress puts down three plates.  
“Three specials right?” She says kindly. “No, we were just leaving, sorry,” Sam responds.

“But that would be rude, don’t you think Sam?”  
You all look in astonishment. “Lemme guess, Eve,” Sam says. “Pleasure. Hello Dean,” she coos before tuning to you. “And you must be the new little sister, Aya. You’re much prettier than what I was told.” Dean defensively steps in front of you. “Why don’t we step outside and have a private chat?” Dean says, finishing it with a smirk. “Why? This is private enough,” Eve says as she gestures around the restaurant. A few starships get up and close all the blinds on the windows. One takes Dean’s duffle bag and brings it to Eve, to which she then pulls out his rifle and sniffs it.  
“Pheonix ash. I’m impressed.” She turns to a starship and hands them the bag. “Destroy these, thank you.” Eve turns her attention back to you and the boys. “I’m not here to fight, you know.” You squint at her words.“Then why _are_ you here? To spend quality time with your abomination children?” You interrogate. “That’s not very nice, but no. I needed help,” Eve explains.  
“With dominating the planet?” Sam says. “I didn’t want that, not at first,” Eve says as she rolls her eyes.  
“But after you started kidnapping and torturing my firstborns, you pushed me into this. A mother must defend her children, you know.”  
“Oh so you’re suddenly mother of the year, good for you,” Dean scoffs. “It’s true,” Eve reassures. “Maybe it would be more convincing if I looked like this.” Just as the words leave her mouth, you watch as she shapeshifts into a beautiful blonde woman.  
Oh you bitch,” Dean says, gritting his teeth. “This conversation is over, if you’re gonna kill us, kill us.” Eve presses a hand to her chest in an attempt to look offended.  
“ _Kill_ you? No, it’s _Crowley_ I want dead.”  
“Well you’re a little late sweetheart, Crowley’s already six feet under,” Dean explains. “Trust me, he’s alive. I see him in the eyes of all my children he tortures. Do you happen to know why he’s stringing up my babies?” Eve says, leaning on the counter.  
“He wants purgatory,” you say. “It’s all about location." Eve laughs and it sends a sick chill down your spine.  
"It’s all about the _souls_ , you simple-minded creatures. Their power is what he wants. They’re fuel to him, and think of what he could do with the untapped oil well that is purgatory.” You, Sam and Dean exchange looks. “If he won’t play nice, neither will I. I’ll turn every last human into my children. Every soul will be mine and flock to me.”  
“Ya know, there’s a couple billion of us, that’s gonna take a while,” Dean chuckles. Eve rolls her eyes once again. “What do you think I’ve been doing here?” She asks as she gestures around the diner.  
“I’m building the perfect beast.” You start putting pieces together, and it all makes sense.  
“So all those mutants we’ve been finding….” You trail off. Eve shrugs. “Call it beta testing. There were some failures but I perfected it. It can spread through a whole town in a day, and the bonus? It got past hunters no problem. You've been carrying it the whole time.” You and the brothers exchange confused looks once again.  
“Duh. Little Ryan,” Eve says as she gives a sickly smile.  
“You know, the best part though was that it even got to you,” Eve pinches your cheek and you thrash away from her grip.  
“I didn't think it would work on your kind, but I guess I outdid myself, didn't I?” She continues. Your face scrunches in confusion and anger.  
“ _What_ are you talking about?” You hiss, and her eyes widen in response.  
“You clueless, aren't you?” She laughs. “Well, looks like you’ll never know. Too bad.” Eve stands up straight from the counter, leaving you to your confusion. _What does she mean?_  
“Either say, there’s nothing you guys can do about it now. So let’s talk.”  
“ We've got nothing to say,” Sam says. “But that's where you’re wrong,” Eve continues. “I have an offer for you three. Find Crowley, bring him to me, and I let you live,” she smiles, causing Dean to squint in anger. “ _Pass_ ,” Dean says firmly.  
“You say that like you have a backup plan. You don’t have any other options, Dean.” She turns her gaze towards a door opening in the back of the diner, and you watch as Castiel and Bobby are brought in by more Jefferson starships.  
“And you’re probably wondering 'why so flaccid’?” Eve says, wagging a finger at Cas.  
“I’m much older than you, Castiel. I know what makes angels tick. As long as I’m around, you’re unplugged.” Eve turns her gaze back to you and the boys.  
“Work for me! I’ll even let your friends live if you do.” Your blood is starting to boil. “They’ve been working for an evil dick for months, what makes you think we’ll all just hop over to an evil _cunt_ so easily? Kill us if that’s so _hard_ to understand,” you solemnly speak. “Or, I turn you and you do my bidding anyway,” Eve continues, obviously a little annoyed now. You smirk.  
“The answer’s still no, you eyesore.”  
As quickly as the words left your mouth, Eve is behind you, hands on your shoulders, and Dean and Sam are restrained by starships.  
“ _Don’t cross me_ ,” Eve whispers in your ear.  
“Let _go_ of her,” Castiel says from across the room, his voice growing a dark,grave tone. The boys wriggle hard in their assailants’ arms to get to you with no avail, and Castiel thrashes even harder. You let out a low chuckle.  
“You don’t scare me. _Bite me_.”  
Eve sinks her teeth into your neck and you cry out from pain. Just as quickly as she was at your neck, she’s now ten feet away, coughing and choking. She looks at you in astonishment, along with everyone else. You grip your bleeding neck and smile. “Phoenix ash really adds a kick to your morning coffee. The taste was kinda like licking a dirty grill, but it added a surprisingly nice aftertaste."  
" _See you in purgatory, bitch_.”  
Eve collapses to the floor, coughing and crying. She begins to leak black ooze from every orifice and finally, she dies on the restaurant floor. As soon as their mother fell, the Jefferson starships attack and try to kill everyone. Castiel rips away from the grip of one starship and lunges to you, pulling you flush against his body and burying your face in his chest.

“ _Shield your eyes!_ ” Castiel yells out. Everyone on the team takes cover and a bright white light rings through the entirety of the building. Once Castiel’s grip on you finally loosens, he helps you to a stool and sits you down.  
“Wow Cas,” you shakily say. “You should really come on more hunts with us.” You try to laugh, but it turns into a hiss; you’re still gripping your neck, searing with pain. Castiel looks upon you with worry. “I think I’m turning into a Jefferson starship, can your angel mojo clear that up for me?”  
Castiel gently presses his hand on top of yours, and you feel a soft, warm heat emanate through your neck, spread through your shoulders and sternum, then ultimately take away the pain and wound. You try to stand up, but your legs are still a little wobbly and you almost fall, but Castiel catches you once again. You don’t mind it this time; as much at least. You and Cas stare at each other, making a blush creep up to your cheeks.  
“Uh, thanks Cas,” you finally say, keeping eye contact and nervously laughing.  
Dean clears his throat from behind you two. “Hate to break up the little moment you guys got goin’ on, but i gotta ask; when the _hell_ did you down some phoenix ash?" You smile proudly. "I'm just chalk-full of surprises, aren't I? Told you I'd be of use in here," you say. Dean smirks and shrugs his shoulders. "Well, either way; we've got one last starship to take out." Castiel gently brings you to your feet and turns to Dean.  
"The kid, he was one of em’,” Dean explains, a hint of shame in his voice. “Unbelievable,” Castiel mutters, rolling his eyes. “Yeah yeah, save the speech, you were right ok? Let’s just get over and do what needs to be done.”  
You and the team load up in the impala and head to the uncle’s house to find everyone dead, sulfur littering the site.  
“Well, demons wouldn't care about monster kids unless told to. Looks like Crowley really is still kicking somehow,” Dean says, inspecting the sulfur traces. “But that’s not possible,” Castiel says, looking at the ground,and seemingly… Avoiding your eye contact.  
Something is up, you can feel it.  
“I burned his bones.” Castiel looks up to meet Dean’s gaze. “I’ll look into it immediately.” Castiel gives you a quick glance before he disappears, and you can’t help but think it’s riddled with secrecy.  
-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! hope you guys liked the chapter, the next one will be super fluffy and cute! xo


	8. Show me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader denies she has any feelings for Castiel, but can she really push them down when the angel shows up in the doorway?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> super fluffy, cute songfic chapter where the reader and Castiel get to dance together. I had sooo much fun writing this!!
> 
> Song: Panic! At the Disco - Collar Full
> 
> Warning: Reader has consumed alcohol and is tipsy. Reader is portrayed as over 21 years of age. 
> 
> Comments, suggestions, criticism and kudos are always appreciated!! Please let me know if you want me to write more chapters like this in the future xoxo

You do _not_ have a crush on Castiel.

You grunt and turn over in your creaky bed, pressing your face into a pillow and breathing back in the hot air that once had a home in your lungs. After you and the gang took out Eve, you brought Bobby back to his home in South Dakota and decided to stay for a few nights while you figure out how to track down Crowley. You lift your head a bit to look at the clock on a nearby wall. _10:47 pm_. Sam, Dean and Bobby left to visit a local bar at 10 and they asked you to come, but you decided to hang back at Bobby's and catch up on some well-deserved sleep.

Except, you can't sleep, and instead are laying in bed, thinking and drinking your fourth beer because you're up trying to figure out your stupid feelings for a stupid angel.

It started out with him just giving you mysterious,borderline-creepy vibes, and you being flustered because he doesn't understand the concept of "personal space." But there's just something so captivating about him, something that piques your interest, and makes you want to know more about him.  
Why the _hell_ did you let get this far?  
"I mean... sure I'll admit it. He is pretty great", you say to yourself, taking care to avoid his name to keep him from materializing in your room. "He's kind, attentive, and keeps his loved ones safe. His innocent and oblivious way of talking makes me laugh, too. Not to mention... He's pretty handsome..." You think back to when you two were alone at the station, and you feel your cheeks getting redder by the second, unsure how much of it is because of your blood-to-alcohol content, and how much is due to what you're saying. Regardless of your slight tipsiness, you shove your face back into the pillow.  
"But he's an _angel_ , and I'm..." You pause and sigh. "I'm just another human to him. Typical and certainly not recherché," you mumble into your pillow as your own words turn into daggers. Ouch, how mean, you think to yourself.  
You turn over and breathe in the cool, musty air. "An angel and a human _can't_ mingle, that's just not how it works," you whisper. "Plus, he doesn't think of me any more than he would Sam or Dean. It would only complicate things for the team if I tried something. _Not_ that I want to or anything, but..." You trail off. You try convincing yourself, but your words are failing to deceive you. You sigh once more and look at the clock for the millionth time tonight. _11:02 pm_. You're not going to sleep anytime soon, so you might as well get up and be productive, you figure.  
It couldn't hurt to get your mind off of that dorky little angel for a while too.

You get up from your bed and walk into the bathroom, bending down to unzip your duffle bag. You grab out your only clean clothes,which includes a fitted black crop top with the words "Always Horngry" plastered across the front in white, and a pair of pink pajama shorts with little white hearts on them. Thank god Dean isn't here, because you'd never hear the end of his damn puns and comments if he ever saw this ensemble. You slip off your dirty jeans and tee and replace them with the clean clothes, then put on a pair of bubblegum pink and sky blue thigh-high socks. Hey, you're home alone, you might as well put on the embarrassing, yet cute as hell, clothes you never wear.  
You grab your phone, plug-in mini speaker and beer then gather up the rest of your clothes. You stumble out of your room, starting to feel the alcohol buzzing in your blood, and down the hall to the laundry room. You then separate your darks and lights in two piles. You also go into Sam and Dean's room to grab their dirty clothes as well, sure that they'd appreciate some clean duds to put on in the morning.  
You plug in your phone to the speaker and turn on your phone's music library, switch on your favorite playlist and start putting all the darks into the washer.  
You start to swing your hips to the current song, Rely by Odesza, getting lost in the mesmerizing sounds and beat. You finish your beer then pick up one of Sam's jackets, throw it over your shoulders and twirl around a few times to the chorus. You take off the jacket when the song ends and put it into the washer with the rest of the clothes. The next song, The Music Scene by Blockhead, comes on just as you close and turn on the washer. You get really into the song and begin gliding around in the laundry room. You start humming to the tempo, and soon enough you're singing the lyrics. By the time this song ends as well, you are in a full dancing mood, probably due to the drinks you've had, and you thank the heavens that nobody is home to stop you. The next song to come up, coincidentally, is one of your absolute favorites to dance to: Collar Full by Panic! At The Disco, and you turn up the volume, completely losing yourself in the music.

 

_We've waited so damn long, we're sick and tired_  
_I won't leave any doubt or stone unturned_

 

Your body picks up on the beat, and your body is buzzing with alcohol and spirit, making you as happy as one can be dancing alone. As much as you're glad everyone is out, you think about how you really wish you had someone to have fun with. 

 

_I've got a collar full of chemistry from your company_  
_So maybe tonight I'll be the libertine_

 

The chorus is your favorite part, and you can't help but sing along. So naturally, you pick up your now empty beer bottle sitting on the dryer and use it as a microphone to blast your voice into as you dance.

 

_Show me your love, your love_  
_Gimme more but it's not enough_  
_Show me your love, your love_  
_Before the world catches up_  
_'Cause there's always time for second guesses, I don't wanna know_  
_If you're gonna be the death of me, that's how I wanna go_

 

You twist and jump and dance around the laundry room, flipping your hair and shaking your hips from side to side. You love dancing, and you don't do it as much as you should, quite frankly. It makes you forget all your stress and fills your heart after long weeks.

 

_You've got it all worked out with so little time_  
_Memories that I'd blackout if you were mine_

 

Just then, you hear a floorboard creak behind you. You turn and see Castiel standing just beyond the doorway with a surprised look on his face.  
"Cas!" You exclaim as you run to him and give him a hug. Normally, you wouldn't have the guts to do this, but the four bottles of liquid confidence you've had in the last hour took care of that. "How long have you been standing there?" You ask, smiling. "Long enough, you seem to be having a pleasant evening. Where are the others?" He asks, obviously a little bewildered by your sudden courage around him. "Who cares!" You rejoice, throwing your arms up. "Dance with me!" You take his hand and pull him onto your little private dance floor that is the laundry room. "I don't think that's a good id-" you cut him off by taking his other hand in yours and swinging him in a circle. Castiel obviously doesn't know how to dance, but that's okay with you; you'll just have to teach him.

 

_You've got a pocket full of reasons why you're here tonight_  
_So, baby, tonight just be the death of me_

 

You let go of one of his hands and twirl a few times while holding the other above your head, letting your free arm hug your torso. You let go of his second hand and start messily, but still accurately, copying choreography you picked up from your dance class in high school. "Common, Cas! Live a little, have some fun!" You say encouragingly. Castiel started off with more of an awkward shuffle, but he seems to have lightened up in the slightest bit, trying to copy some of the movements you display.

 

_Show me your love, your love_  
_Gimme more but it's not enough_  
_Show me your love, your love_  
_Before the world catches up_  
_'Cause there's always time for second guesses, I don't wanna know_  
_If you're gonna be the death of me, that's how I wanna go_

 

As the chorus starts up once again, you start to sing along and laugh. Apparently your energy is contagious , because Castiel begins to laugh a little, too. Cas is now dancing the to best to his ability, and even though it's still a little awkward and badly timed, it makes you smile seeing him finally relaxed and having fun. He smiles and it makes your heart melt, then he extends his hand for permission to grab yours. Of course, you accept his offer, and he pulls you in and you two start gamboling and twisting to the beat together, laughing and singing all the while.  
The song slows for a moment, and you and Castiel slow a little, swaying and staring into each other's eyes with smiles plastered on your faces.

 

_Show me your love, your love_  
_Gimme more but it's not enough_  
_Show me your love, your love_  
_Before the world catches up_

 

The song picks up for its final time and you and Cas dance together, giving it all you've got. You guys grasp each other's hands and dance (finally) in perfect time with the beat. This is the best dance session you've ever done, and most fun you've ever had.

 

_Show me your love, your love_  
_Gimme more but it's not enough_  
_Show me your love, your love_  
_Before the world catches up_  
_Show me your love_  
_Show me your love_

 

As the song comes to a close, Castiel unexpectedly takes you in his arms and dips you down, so you're looking up at his beautiful blue eyes. You two are standing in the middle of the laundry room, sweat beads forming on your foreheads and breathing heavily. After a moment of Castiel and you staring into each other's faces, you smile and he does too, causing laughter to emanate from the both of you as he stands you straight up. You jump and wrap your arms around his neck in a hug, and Cas puts his hands on your waist unconsciously. You then pull away to meet his beaming eyes again.  
"That was awesome," you say breathlessly. "It was quite fun, I will admit," Castiel replies. "How did you learn how to do that? The dipping thing?" You ask, still surprised that he did it. "I saw it in a movie, and I thought you would enjoy it. Did you? Enjoy it, I mean?"  
"Yes, it was perfect," you say, the two of you still smiling ear to ear and keeping your hands on his shoulders. You hear the ding of the washer finishing its cycle, and you're about to make a joke about how that was the real reason you came in here, but a voice comes from the doorway and beats you to it.

"Have a one-person party while we were gone?"

You turn around to see Dean leaning against the door frame. You wipe the sweat from your face and stammer while trying to form an answer. "Oh, uh well, I was, we were just-"  
" _We_?" Dean questions with one eyebrow raised.  
You turn around and are about to point to Castiel, when he's nowhere to be found. You're alone in the laundry room once again, and you immediately feel his absence.  
"Uhhmm, I meant me! Sorry, _I_ was... Occupying myself while I did our laundry."  
Dean let's out a small chuckle and crosses his arms. "Well next time, you can come to the bar with us and shake your tail there. I'm a pretty good dancer, ya know. I'll only step on your feet a few times. Nice shirt by the way."  
Once Dean has his fill of laughter, he stands up and walks away. You look at your hands, acknowledging the empty spaces between your fingers a little bit more than usual.

"Thanks, but I've already got a partner."


	9. Trust me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel hasn't been showing his face much lately; could he be hiding a dark secret from the team?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS I am SO sorry its been so long since the last update!!! I've been under copious amounts of stress and have been very busy. To make up for my absence, I have a nice long chapter for you guys, and I'm already planning the draft for the next one!! Hope you guys enjoy.xo
> 
> WARNING: there is a part in this chapter where a demon gets a little handsy with the reader, but it doesn't go too far I promise. There will be asterisks (****) before and after this part if you would like to skip it for any reason. There's also a bit of gore as well, so fair warning for that as well.

It's been a few weeks since your encounter with Cas in the laundry room, and you haven't seen much of him since. You've walked in on him conversing with Sam or Dean an unusually small handful times, but he always made an endeavor to leave shortly after you show your face. Despite him admitting he had enjoyed your one-on-one dancing fun, it looks like he has been avoiding you since then.  
Come to think of it, it seems like he has been avoiding the entire team since you killed Eve and found out Crowley is still alive. What exactly is he trying to avoid and why?  
Either way, you and team free will have been on high alert trying to locate the king of hell, so you've been staying primarily at Bobby's house to have an extra hand at research and trapping demons for information.

You wake up to the sound of screaming downstairs. Immediately your hunter instincts kick in, shooting you upright in bed and having you take a firm hold on your demon blade you hid under your pillow. When you realize it's not Sam, Dean or Bobby's voice, you figure it's another demon they caught to prod at until it squeals about Crowley. You look at the clock on the wall. _7:57 am_. You groan, plop back down onto your creaky bed, and pull a pillow over face. "It's too early to be poking the pig, guys. Come on," you grumble as you let your demon blade slip from your tired fingers and hit the floor.  
You eventually roll out of bed and take a quick shower, letting the warm water and steam wake you up. You throw on a grey tank top with the words "keep your distance" sewn into the breast pocket and a pair of hunter-green cargo skinny jeans. Heh, _hunter_ green, you laugh to yourself. You top off the look with your trusty, broken-in steel toes. You throw your hair into a messy ponytail and head downstairs to find the culprit of the screams tied down to a chair with a demon blade plunged deep into his thigh. You walk into the kitchen and see Sam, Dean and Bobby huddled together and talking.  
"What's good fellas? Get any dirt outta this one?" You ask, gesturing a thumb at the pain-ridden demon in the foyer. The three men step away from each other and shift awkwardly in their spots. After a few moments of cumbersome silence, Sam sighs and finally speaks up.  
"Listen, Aya. We've got something to let you in on and it's not good news."  
"Sam," Dean says as he sends a scold toward his brother.  
"She has a right to know what's going on, even if we don't have anything concrete yet," Sam reasons. His words pique your interest as Dean sighs and lifts his arms slightly to slap them back down at his sides; his gesture to say Sam can proceed.  
"We think-"  
" _they_ think," Dean interrupts his brother, then in return gets a dirty look.  
"Castiel is working with Crowley, and we don't know why," Sam finishes.  
Your face automatically scrunches into a look of shock and disgust at the allegation. " _What_?! How could you guys possibly think that?" You exclaim. "Look," Bobby says before you get a chance to protest any further. "I hate myself for even thinking it's possible, but we just don't know." Sam steps forward and puts a gentle hand on your shoulder. "And I know we'd all take a bullet for Cas, as he would us. I'm praying we're wrong, but we have to take everything into consideration. Even this."  
You look to the floor, take a heavy sigh, and try to move past the utter ludicrousness of the claim to humor yourself for even a _moment_ that it could be possible.  
"What makes you think Cas is? What motive would he even have?" You ask, looking back up at the boys. "We're not sure about the why part, but we think it might be the case because of the mess up with Crowley's bones, and how sneaky and closed-off Cas has been since Eve told us he's alive," Sam says.  
Your face scrunches once again. "What, he can't make a mistake just cuz' he's an angel?" You scoff.  
"That's exactly what I said," Dean chimes in while leaning on the dining room table. "How high are the chances of that, though?" Bobby says, exchanging a look between you and Dean. "Look we're just saying we're not sure, but we have to be cautious. If superman really did go dark, we gotta be smart about this and stalk up on some kryptonite."  
You cross your arms, let out another heavy breath and swing around to face the foyer when you swear you see the end of a trench coat flip in your left peripheral.  
_Castiel?_  
You turn to look, but are only greeted with empty space. " _What the fuck?_ " you say under your breath.  
"What?" Sam questions, looking upon you with concern. You blink in astonishment a few times and come to the conclusion you must have been seeing things due to the ridiculous conversation unfolding. Damnit Aya, get a hold of yourself, you think. "N-nothing, I just need some coffee," you say, pushing through the ring of men towards the coffee maker across the room. You grab a mug and pour yourself a cup, then lean against the counter edge, not even bothering to put cream and sugar in it.  
"I just can't imagine Castiel willing, let alone _wanting_ to work with Crowley," you say, staring into the deep black pool inside your cup. "I just can't believe the idea of him betraying us like that, after everything," you trail off, now thinking about the bond you and the angel have been forming. You're now much more quiet than when you started. "It just doesn't make any sense."  
The three boys can tell you're troubled, so they let you have a quick moment of silence to sort your thoughts before Dean gets up and walks over to you, putting an arm around your shoulders. "But we're keeping him around and in the loop, for the most part, for now. So don't give up on him just yet." You look up at Dean and he gives you a small smile and a wink. It takes a moment for you to realize what he's insinuating, and then another for you to realize that he's aware of how you feel about Castiel. Your face begins to swelter with a familiar heat as you shove Dean away from you. "Oh shut the fuck up smartass," you say, nervously laughing in the process. The mood seems to lighten up a bit in the kitchen as you hear Bobby and Sam chuckling.  
"Well either way, we gotta find Crowley ASAP, before the fool cracks open purgatory like a summer melon," Bobby says as he walks out of the kitchen and back to the trapped demon. Sam follows close behind Bobby, then you and Dean give each other final side bumps before turning serious once more.  
"So, you ready to tell us where the king is?" Bobby stays, taking a firm hold on the knife handle protruding from the demon's thigh.  
"Up yours," he smirks. Bobby shrugs and gives the knife a slow, sturdy twist, and the demon screams in agony. "I don't know where he is! I've never even met Crowley, I don't deal with him directly," the demons says as he grits his teeth. Bobby gets close to his face, hand still on the knife handle. "Then who _do_ you deal with?" Bobby gives the knife a half-turn and another screech emanates from the body.  
"The dispatcher! A demon named Ellsworth, he's in Aberdeen! _Please_ stop!"  
"Aberdeen. That's about a three hour drive from here," Bobby says as he stands up. "We can get there before noon if we leave now," Sam adds. You and Dean exchange looks. "Well let's get to it then," you say as you turn on your heel and walk towards the front door. "Wait, you're just gonna leave me here?" the demon says as his gaze quickly shifts from the knife in his leg to the boys. Bobby, Sam and Dean exchange looks, and all shrug before following you out of the house without another word.  
-  
Team free will makes the three hour trip to Ellsworth's headquarters. You all arm yourselves and Dean breaks down the front door, only to find the initial rooms quiet and empty.  
The four of you gingerly step inside the house, split up in pairs(you and Dean, and Sam and Bobby), and begin searching the rest of the house. Once every section of the property has been searched, you all meet back up in the living room.  
"The place is clean," Sam says as he sets his pistol down on the coffee table. You walk over and sink down into a dusty armchair. "Yea, maybe a little _too_ clean. Demons always leave a trail, yet this place is spotless," you reply. "You're right. So, what now?" Bobby says, exchanging a look between all of you. Dean walks over and sits down in the armchair next to yours.  
"We call Cas."  
You perk up at the mention and glance over to Dean to find he's already looking at you, his face looking for support. "What?" Sam asks his brother. You swallow and switch your glance to him and Bobby. "I second that. We should call him."  
"This is when we usually ask him for help," Dean continues. "We talked about this," Bobby begins, ready to argue.  
"No, _you_ talked, _we_ listened."  
Dean wags his index finger between you and him, and you swallow hard. You don't like conflict in the team, nor going against Bobby and Sam's judgement, but this is too important to just stand down. Castiel is too important.  
"Dean has a point. Guys, this is Cas we're talking about; the angel that kept our asses from being handed to us more times than we can count. Our friend that's risked his life for us so many damn times; you guys more than me," you say as you stand up.  
"Don't we own him the benefit of the doubt _at least_?" You look over your shoulder at Dean and he gives you a nod of approval, but Sam and Bobby still look unsure of the decision. You put a tender hand on both of their shoulders. "Please guys."  
After a moment of thought, Sam sighs. "Castiel, this is really important, and we could really use your help down here. We really need to talk to you." You all wait in anticipation, but the angel doesn't show. You walk back to the set of armchairs on the opposite end of the room, but don't sit down. "Cas, come on down," Dean continues the prayer, but still dead silence and no Castiel. You look up from the floor and shift your glance to Sam and Bobby on the far end of the room, about to start your own prayer, but that's when you notice the body filling the space between them. It's Cas, but something is wrong... Sam and Bobby aren't even acknowledging him; neither is Dean.  
Castiel is here. _Why isn't anyone reacting?_  
"Cas," you say quietly as you take a step forward. When his name leaves your mouth, Castiel notices you staring at him in confusion, and his face is one of shock. But before you can ask any questions, Sam and Bobby suddenly become aware of Cas' presence, and jump back as though he hadn't been there this whole damn time. "Jesus, Cas. Don't sneak up on us like that," Sam says as he clutches his chest. You motion to take another step forward, still thoroughly perplexed, but you are stopped in your tracks when a body collides into your side, launching the two of you through the glass doors to an adjacent room nearby.  
"Aya!" Sam, Dean, Bobby and Castiel all yell simultaneously.  
Just then, demons slam open the front door and jump through the windows, surrounding and attacking the rest of the group. Before he could grab his gun, Sam is thrown across the room like a rag doll and collides with a table, Bobby is grabbed from behind and punched, and Dean is knocked down and pinned against the mahogany floor. "Crowley says hi," the demon hisses into Dean's ear, just before dean's fist strikes his face.  
Meanwhile across the house, you throw the demon off of you and swiftly unsheathe your scum-killing blade from your thigh. Before the demon has a chance to get up and continue his assault, you swing your blade and take a slice at his face. The demon wretches momentarily before swiping his leg at your knees and knocking you to the ground. You drop your blade and the demon kicks you in the torso as you reach for it. You suck up the pain and take your chance at grabbing his leg, yanking him down on the floor with you. You quickly straddle his chest and land a good few punches on his face before he grabs your wrists and slams his forehead against his own, bewildering you enough to give him the chance to pull you off of him. You successfully reach your backup blade on your belt loop, but he kicks the blade out of your hand as you try to wield it, then kicks you across the floor, your skin being ripped to ribbons by the broken glass and back colliding with a wall. He pulls you up by your jacket's collar and slams you against the chipped paint. Before you can react, a fist collides _hard_ with your nose, and a sick crunching sound pounds in your ears. Blood trickles down from your split skin and broken cartilage, and you're seeing stars as your attacker brings his face inches away from yours. You feel a wet, cold tongue roughly drag from the side of your neck up your face, and you almost gag as it laps up the trail of red streaking down your cheek. Ugh, why do _you_ always have to deal with the freaky ones?  
***********************  
"Mmmmmmm. You taste almost as sweet as you look, doll. We could have a lot of fun together, ya know." You grit your teeth and try to push him off, but the demon has your arms in a death grip with one of his hands. "It's a cryin' shame I gotta kill you though. Maybe we can still fool around when you're done kicking and screaming."  
The demon lets out a laugh that makes your stomach turn. His free hand wanders up to the left straps of your tank top and bra, and he rips them off your arm, scraping your skin as he does so. His slimy fingers then find the top edge of your tank and you struggle to break free, pulling your right hand away long enough to rip your nails across his face. He grabs your wrist and gives it an ungodly twist, snapping it without breaking a sweat. Your lungs empty and echo through the house, and he pins your now broken wrist down with your other hand. "Shouldn't have done that, sweetheart, I won't be gentle now," he hisses as he rips your tank down, leaving you in your now-tattered bra.  
***********************  
Just before he can progress his assault any further, his body's pressure is ripped away from you and you fall from the wall. You pull up your shirt and your sight focuses just in time to see Castiel furiously yank the demon's head back and press a palm to his forehead, a bright white light emanating from every orifice and burning his eyes out just before his body drops to the floor.  
Once the demon is rid of, Castiel immediately rushes to you. "You're injured," he says as he places a careful hand on your forearm, eyes drifting from the scrapes on your arm, to your ripped shirt and bra strap, to your broken wrist, then finally your blood-stained face. If you weren't in so much pain, you'd probably be blushing right now, having Cas' eyes wander you.  
"Yea, he clocked me pretty square. He did a number on my wrist, too. I think they're both broken," you say, and you wince and cry out in pain as your unharmed hand cradles your injured wrist. "Don't. Let me," Castiel says as his second hand finds your cheek, his other hand staying on your arm. You close your eyes and a warmness spreads from his hand's placements on your nose and arm, then tingles down your neck and through both shoulders and arms. The sensation is one you've felt before, and you recall when Castiel healed you after killing Eve, but it feels different this time. It feels more... comforting. Like you can almost physically feel how worried Castiel was that you were hurt. His hand leaves your face and your eyes flutter open, only to be met with his brilliant sapphire-blue ones. "Better?" He asks, hand never leaving your arm. Now that your face is healed, you can properly blush again. _Great._  
"Yea, much. Thanks Cas," you say, face feeling ten times hotter than when it did while he was healing you. You clear your throat in attempt to regather yourself, then call out into the rest of the house,"Everyone else alright?" Cas lets go of your arm, saddening you a little, and together you walk back out into the living room. You see Dean helping Sam up off the floor and Bobby dusting himself off, demon bodies littering the floor. "Yea, we're good; Cas took care of em'," Dean says. "I arrived just in time," Castiel adds. You walk over to Sam and Dean, and Sam notices you holding up your ripped shirt. "Here," he says as he takes off his jacket and hands it to you since you don't have yours to cover up with. You gladly accept it and put it on. "Thanks. So Sam, Bobby, what do you guys think of Cas saving us _again_? Not to mention healing me as well," you say, crossing your arms and waiting for their responses. Sam shifts where he stands and clears his throat. "I think we owe you an apology." Castiel's brow furrows. "Why is that?" "We've been hunting Crowley, and keeping it from you," Sam continues. "And we thought you were working with him," Bobby confesses. Castiel takes on a look of shock. "What?" He says.  
"I know, crazy right? And Aya and I were sticking up for you,too," Dean scoffs. "Hey, don't point fingers, boy. The point is we were wrong, and we're sorry," Bobby continues. Castiel looks to the floor and says," You know, you could have just asked me."  
"And we should have," you speak up and take a step towards the angel.  
"We never should've doubted you," Dean adds. "We just hope you can forgive us," Sam finishes. Castiel's gaze meets dean's, Sam's, Bobby's, and eventually lands and stays on yours. "It's forgotten," he says, a small smile curling the corners of his lips. "Thank you Cas," you say, forming a smile of your own. "Yea, thanks Cas," Sam agrees. Castiel looks to the floor once again and let's out a small chuckle. "You have to admit, it is a little absurd though," he says as his eyes meet dean's.  
"Superman going dark side."  
Once the words register with you, your smile fades and stomach drops. Oh god, you really did see him this morning, didn't you? _He was spying on us. But how?_  
"I'm still me," the angel continues.  
Dean's face changes from a legitimate smile to a fake one, but Castiel doesn't seem to notice. "I guess we can put away the kryptonite then, huh?" Dean asks. "Exactly," Castiel responds, still smiling. "Well I best be going, I am close to finding out more about Crowley and I need to get back to my search." Castiel turns to you and you straighten up, trying to hide your sudden nerves as best as possible. "I'll see you all soon," the angel says just before he disappears once more.  
You and the rest of the team stand in silence for what seems like an eternity, and you're frantically wracking your brain with questions.  
How long has this been going on? What does he know that we don't?  
_Why?_  
"Did he say what I think he said?" Sam asks quietly, breaking the silence.  
"'Superman going dark'; exactly what I said this morning," Bobby confirms. You sit down, now dizzy from your eyes darting around the room in search of answers that aren't there. "Maybe... Maybe he had a good reason to spy, maybe..." You trail off, your own tactics at convincing yourself this isn't what it seems failing you.  
"If this isn't solid proof that Cas is working with Crowley, than I don't know what is," Sam says as gently as possible, but it still cuts you to the bone.  
"Cas knows things that could take us to Crowley's doorstep, but he obviously won't tell us voluntarily," Bobby continues, now leaning against a windowsill. Dean stands up straight and takes on a defensive pose. "So what, we tie our friend, our _family_ down and make him talk? As much as he's wronged us, you know we can't hurt Cas," he says. Even when others aren't, Dean is always and forever loyal. You admire that about him, you think to yourself.  
"Then how else are we gonna get him to talk Dean? He isn't the Cas we knew anymore, he betrayed us and is working for our worst enemy right now," Sam argues, now taking on a defensive pose of his own. You lean on your legs as you sit, head hanging with one hand raking through your hair. Dean must have noticed your distress, because within seconds he's kneeling at your side. "Hey, I know it hurts, it's hurting me too. All of us. Especially because of everything we've been through with him," Dean says gently, trying his best to comfort you.  
"But we gotta do what we have to to get some answers," Sam continues. You sigh and realize how much your feelings are getting in the way. As much as you care about Cas, he really did betray the team. He betrayed _you_. Despite this however, you couldn't bear the thought of you and the boys hurting him.  
Just then, you come to an epiphany.  
"What... What if he just trap him?" You say, lifting up your head to look at the boys. "We can use holy fire. That way we don't have to hurt him; just cage him until he talks." You watch as Sam and Bobby exchange looks, and Dean gives you a sad look of agreement.  
"Let's break out the holy oil then," Bobby says as he walks out the front door towards the impala. 

You and Dean dig trenches for the demons' bodies, eight in total, while Bobby and Sam set up the holy fire trap inside the cabin. You each pick a body to drag out and dump them in the holes. You leave your attacker for last, and you notice something different about his meat suit. You look over in the other graves and see that the demons were exorcised like any other, their bodies left in tact. But your attacker's body looked as though he was scorched from the inside, every orifice charred and his eyes burnt out.  
Was Castiel _that_ angry that the demon hurt you?  
A firm hand is placed on your shoulder, startling you and pulling you away from your thoughts. "Hey," Dean says as you turn around. His face says he's prepared for what you all are about to do, but his eyes say otherwise. "Hey," you reply, your eyes equally matching the emotion in his. "Bobby's almost finished setting everything up in there. You ready?" You look to the demon that attacked you's grave, only half covered in the dark earth. You swallow hard, trying to mentally prep yourself and sort through your own distraught emotions. "Yea. Let me finish up out here and I'll be inside in five," you respond, looking back up to Dean. "Alright kiddo," Dean says as he turns to walk away. You almost let him, but your hand catches his sleeve.  
"Dean, hold on."  
He turns around and looks you in the eye. Normally you aren't a touchy-feely kind of person, but you could really use some comfort from someone.  
No one better than the thick-headed man who's basically your brother, you guess.  
"Can I have a hug?" You ask, now feeling like maybe you shouldn't have. Dean looks a little confused at first, expecting anything but that to come from you, but it soon melts into a sad smile.  
"Of course. C'mere kid."  
Dean takes you into his arms, and his slow,strong heartbeat makes you feel steadier, even if just a little. "I know how you feel about Cas, but just know you've always got me, lug-head, and the old drunk in there. We're your family, and we'll never betray you like he did to all of us." You are a little surprised that something so profound came out of Dean, but you find yourself smiling against his chest regardless. He really is like a brother to you, caring and soft under all the callouses and smart-ass comments. "Thanks Dean. I really needed that," you say as you two break the hug. "No problem. Let's finish the last grave and get inside." 

Once the last demon is buried, you and Dean walk inside and everyone spreads around the room, trying to look as natural as possible. You stand in a corner, leaning on a bookshelf and gazing out a nearby window. The last thing you wanna do is make eye contact with Cas when he shows up, and him automatically knowing something is wrong. You're not as good at hiding your emotions as you like to think you are.  
"Ready?" Bobby asks, hiding a box of matches in his palm. Dean and Sam nod, and you keep your gaze out the window. Dean clears his throat. "Castiel, we need you for a little pow-wow down here so uh, come on down."  
Just as he finishes the prayer, Castiel materializes across the room near a fireplace. "You're all still here," Cas inquiries.  
"We had to bury the bodies," Bobby says. "Thanks for comin," Dean continues.  
Sam steps forward, holding a book in his hands. "Look, we uhm, found a new plan. We finally figured out how to track down Crowley," he says, and you can pinpoint the nerves in his voice. Castiel's face fills with surprise and a tinge of worry. The angel strides until he is in the center of the room, and you stand up and step away from the bookshelf, eyes kept on the ground.  
"What is it?" Castiel asks. You walk until you're standing just a few feet in front of him, then lift your heavy gaze to meet his. Castiel is immediately worried when he sees you, your face twisted into a pained expression.  
"It's you."  
Just as the words leave your mouth, Bobby quickly lights a match and throws it to the floor, igniting the holy oil as it creates a ring of fire around Castiel. "What are you doing?" The angel asks as he wildly shifts his gaze around the room. "We gotta talk," dean solemnly says as he stands from his chair.  
"About what? Why does it require you confining me? Let me go!" Castiel says, disquiet quickly filling his voice.  
"About superman, and kryptonite," Dean says, walking past you and around the circle of flames. "How long have you been watching us?" Sam interrogates as he steps closer as well.  
"You know who spies on people, Cas? _Spies_ ," Dean continues, distaste saturating every word. "Okay, just... Wait. I don't even know what you're referring to," Castiel defends. "And how was it so unnaturally clean in here when we showed up?" Sam quickly adds. "And exactly _how_ did Crowley trick you with the wrong bones?" Bobby says. Castiel's eyes dart from person to person, now fully aware he's been caught. He takes a deep breath. "It's hard to understand, and even harder to explain, please just let me out and we can-" 

"Stop acting like we don't have a clue what you've been doing. Don't play dumb, Castiel," you say, your eyes on the floor. "You need to stop keeping the truth from the ones who care about you, and come out from under your sheep's clothing." You finally muster the courage to look at him once again. "Look me dead in the eye, and tell me you're not working with the king of hell."

Castiel's mouth is agape, but he says nothing. He breaks your gaze and looks to the floor, and your stomach drops. Your eyes start to burn from hurt and anger.  
"Son of a bitch," Dean mutters under his breath. "Just let me explain," Castiel pleads. "You're really working with him under our noses," Dean says. "You've been dealing with him this whole time? You two are going after purgatory _together_?" Castiel's face takes on a look of frustration. "I did it to _protect_ you! To protect _all_ of you!" Castiel yells, and the flames around him flicker with his movements.  
" _Protecting_ us? By kicking open the hornet's nest?" Sam says. "He's right, Cas. Eve was just the tip of the iceberg and you wanna crack the whole thing open to the core!" Bobby adds.  
"To get to the souls. I can _stop_ Raphael!" the angel reasons. Castiel turns from Bobby to you. "Please, you _have_ to trust me!"  
Something in you snaps and you jerk your head up to meet Castiel's gaze; your stare chills him to the bone.  
" _Trust_ you?" You ask, voice cracking and eyes welling up with hot, bitter tears. "  
How are we supposed to trust you after this? How am _I_ supposed to trust you, Castiel?"  
Cas' eyes fill with sadness. "I'm still me," he says to you weakly, then turns to Dean. "I'm still your friend."  
Castiel looks to the floor, takes a deep breath, then turns to Sam. "Sam... I'm the one who raised you from hell."  
You turn to look at the younger brother and he swallows hard. "What?" He says quietly, and he and the angel exchange looks momentarily. "Well, no offense, but you did a pretty shitty job at it," Sam scoffs. Castiel is about to respond when Sam's face fills with disdain. "Wait... Did you bring me back soulless, _on purpose?_ "  
"How could you possibly think that?" Cas says.  
Sam cards his fingers roughly through his hair. "Well I don't know _what_ to think right now Cas, none of us do."  
Castiel's eyes go to the floor momentarily to sort his thoughts, then shifts his eyes to everyone in the team. "Listen to me. Raphael _will_ kill us _all_. He will turn the whole world into a graveyard. I had no choice," Castiel addresses.  
"No, you had a choice," Dean gravely responds. "You just made the wrong one." Castiel shakes his head. "No, you don't understand, it's complicated." Dean's face fills with a mixed look of disgust and disappointment.  
"No actually, it's really not and you know that. Why else would you hide this from us, unless deep down you knew it was wrong?" Dean steps right to the edge of the fire, close enough to singe his hair. "When crap like this comes around, we deal with it head on _together_ , not make another deal with the devil!" Castiel looks to the floor once more.  
"It sounds so simple when you put it like that," he quietly says. "Where were you when I needed to hear it?"  
Dean's face hardens. "I was there. Where were you?" You feel a tear sting your cheek on the way down your face.  
"You should have come to us for help, Cas."  
Just as you finish your sentence, a mix of rumbles and whispers surrounds the house. You all look outside to see a massive cloud of demons heading straight for the cabin. "It's too late now, I can't turn back," Cas quickly says. You turn to face the angel. "It's never too late, we can fix this Cas!" You call out over the rumbles. Castiel looks you in the eye and watches as another tear falls. "Aya, it's _not_ broken," he says dourly. The entire house starts to shake and fill with deafeningly-loud noise.  
"You have to run, now," Castiel calls, but you can't bring yourself to move; you just stare at the angel through burning tears.  
" _Go!_ "  
You finally pry your feet from their positions and turn to sprint for the front door, opening it for the rest of the team to run out. Before you close the door behind you, Castiel calls out your name. You turn around to give him one last look, and you see him mouth the words "I'm sorry." 

The team makes the drive back to Bobby's and everyone is silent. Once home, you go straight to your room; you really need some alone time. Your body hurts almost as much as your head does, so you change into some pajamas and get ready to take a 3-day long nap. But just before you lay down, you peer out your window down to the lawn, where Dean is raking leaves. He needed his alone time too after that, you guess. You watch Dean rake the autumn-colored leaves and gather them up into a trash bag. You wonder how he must be taking it, then decide probably not good if Dean is doing chores. You're just about to walk away from the window when you see rustling in the bushes lining the forest line. After a few moments, you see Castiel walk out into the backyard.  
"Oh fuck," you say to yourself, noticing that Dean _isn't_ noticing the angel. You're about to open your window and call out to him, but then another figure walks out into the clearing.  
_Crowley._  
"What in the fresh hell?" You question, ducking out of sight and hoping they didn't see you. You watch carefully as the two talk, studying Dean as he rakes leaves. After about five minutes, Crowley walks back into the forest, and after another five, Castiel disappears, Dean none the wiser. You slump down the wall to the floor, trying to understand what you just saw.  
"Am I going insane?" You ask yourself. Just then, you hear Sam calling you from downstairs, so you pick yourself up and head down, still confused as ever.  
"Hey, we need your help," Sam says. "With?" You simply ask, and Bobby walks over holding up a jar of blood and a paintbrush. "We're setting up angel wards all over the house. Now that we know for a fact Castiel has gone dark, it's time to break out the kryptonite," Bobby explains. You stare at the jar momentarily, but eventually take it and the brush without saying a word. Once you're finished, you go upstairs and pass out on your bed.

When you come to, you're strapped down to a surgical slab. Your clothes are tattered and barely hanging onto your pale frame. Your vision is blurry, and suddenly your entire body is washed over in searing pain. "What... the hell.." Is all you manage to choke out. You look down and just barely manage to focus your eyes to realize you're covered in deep, weeping wounds. You're almost certain you can see your muscles in some places, making your stomach turn, so you look away, only to see a figure walking into your hazy range of sight. Your head is screaming and your eyes are foggy, but you hear a familiar voice.  
"Wake up."  
"Cas...tiel?" You manage to weakly mutter.  
"I said _wake up!_ "  
A hand strikes your cheek, and your vision is suddenly clear as day. You look up to the angel's face, your cheek hot and throbbing. "Cas... Where am I... W-What's happening?"  
Castiel stares at you with an empty, hollow expression that chills you to the bones that you know are broken. Another figure walks into view, and you recognize it as Crowley immediately.  
"Thank you for bringing the little pest to me, Castiel. You can go now," Crowley calmly says. Castiel turns to walk away, but you manage to grab the end of his trench coat. Tears start welling in your eyes.  
"Cas...?"  
The angel doesn't turn to you, but instead lifts his hand and snaps. Lights turn on in the dark corner of the room, revealing two severely mangled bodies hanging from chains on the wall.  
Oh god, it's Sam and Dean.  
_They're dead._  
Hot tears start running down your cheeks, and the salty droplets burn your cuts.  
"I personally did the number on them," Crowley beams. "But you can thank him for your little ensemble. Sam and Dean may have been mine to kill, but angel boy here wanted you all to himself."  
Your eyes widen in horror. "N-No... That can't be true.... You made him do it," you say, trying to choke back your sobs.  
"Believe it, darling. This was all Castiel's idea," Crowley says just before he walks back into the darkness.  
"W-Why?" Your grip on Castiel's coat tightens. He stays silent.  
" _Why?!_ " you scream, demanding answers.  
Your hear Castiel laugh, but it's different than before; it's more of a low, sinister rumble than an actual laugh.  
"It's simple, Aya." Castiel turns his head just enough for you to see his face, and his sick grin and emotionless eyes make your heart stop.  
"Because I _had_ to." Castiel quickly turns to face you, ripping his trench coat from your grip, and slides his angel blade slick with your blood out of his sleeve.  
"Because I'm not on your side, Aya."  
He puts the blade to your neck.  
"Because I never was."

Just as the blade slices through your throat, you wake up gasping for air. You're in your bed at Bobby's, drenched in a cold sweat and very disoriented. As you peel yourself from the bed sheets, you sit up to see a figure at the end of your bed, startling you. You grab your blade from under your pillow and the figure steps into the moonlight shining from your window, revealing its identity;  
It's Castiel.  
"Aya, it's alright, it's only me," he says quietly and reassuringly. Your heart is still pounding and you don't dare put down your knife. "You had a nightmare, and you were calling for me in your sleep. You sounded distraught, so I came to make sure you were alright. I'm not here to hurt you." You lower the knife, but only enough to not be aiming for somewhere lethal. "How did you get in here? The wards..." You trail off, throat scratchy from breathing hard in your sleep and head still slightly swimming in your dream. "The angel-proofing you four put on the house has a few things wrong," Cas admits. Your heartbeat slowly starts to regain a normal tempo in your ears. You place the knife on your thigh and breathe a heavy sigh, finally coming down from your dream.  
"Why are you here Cas? And don't say it's only because of my dream," you say, looking him in the eye.  
"Aya, I need you to understand-"  
"No Cas, I already do. To stop Raphael right? Well don't you think you could have found a better way to do that? One that _didn't_ include Crowley and purgatory, and one that _did_ include the team and I?" You stand up from your bed and set your blade down on your nightstand. "We would have found a way Castiel. A _better_ way. The _right_ way. Don't you believe that we could have?" You take a step towards him. "I do trust the team, it's just-"  
"'It's just' nothing, Cas! You _lied_ to us, you went behind our backs and _betrayed_ us. I thought you cared about the team," you say, lowering your voice and your eyes to the floor. "I thought you cared about me."  
Castiel startles you by teleporting right in front of you and taking both of your hands firmly into his.  
"I'm doing this _because_ I care about you, Aya."  
You look up, bewildered by his actions and words. "Raphael is a war machine," he continues. "He is going to take everything mankind has ever known and _annihilate_ it. There is _no_ other way to stop him; no one else can do it accept me. The souls will make me powerful enough to stand against him. He's going to take Dean, Sam and Bobby away from me. He's going to take _you_ away from me. I cannot let that happen."  
You stare into the angel's eyes, and are in awe of their sapphire shine. They almost look like they're glowing.  
"Cas..."  
"I am not doing this to betray you and the others. I am not doing this because I want to. I am doing this because I _have_ to do this. Because if I don't, then the team's lives, their _destinies_ written by god, then rewritten by many time and time again, and their entire existences they've built from the ground up will cease to exist. Everything that came to exist since the dawn of time will be thrown away, and every single person on this planet's lives will stop. They will never get their chances.  
You and I... _we_ , will never our chance."  
Castiel's grip on your hands softens.  
"Please believe me. I need you to trust me."  
You are silent for a few minutes, his words weighing heavily in your mind. Despite having to go about it the bad way, he is right.  
"There really isn't any other way, is there?" You ask, head hanging low. Castiel's thumbs rub over the back of your hands.  
"No, no there isn't."  
And with that, you look back up at Castiel and meet his pleading eyes again.  
"I trust you."  
Castiel let's out a breath he seemed to be holding and pulls you into an unexpected hug. "Thank you Aya."  
You two stand there in silence, you in Castiel's embrace, for what seems like an eternity before hear a knock at your door, and Cas lets you out of the hug. The handle twists, but thankfully your door is locked. "Everything okay in there, Aya? I woke up and heard you talking in your sleep or something," Dean says through the door.  
"I have to leave," Cas whispers to you. "No, not yet," you whisper back.  
"Hold on!" You call out to Dean behind the door.  
"Dean cannot see me here," Cas argues. You look around your room and remember you have a large wardrobe in the corner of your room; conveniently large enough to fit someone inside. "Quick, hide in my wardrobe," you whisper, pointing to the corner of your room. "Aya, I-"  
" _Please_ Cas," you plead.  
Castiel sighs, but reluctantly agrees, hurriedly tiptoeing to the corner of your room. You jog to your bedroom door and unlock it. You crack your door open and Dean stands in the doorway, still in last night's clothes.  
"Hey, can I come in?" He asks. "Yea," you say, stepping aside as Dean walks in and surveys your room. "I heard you from downstairs, you say stuff in your sleep?" He asks as he sits down on the edge of your bed. "Uhm, yea, sometimes. I had a..." Your words trail off as you notice Castiel just standing blatantly in the corner.  
"Nightmare..." You finish.  
Dean isn't reacting, and you're getting tired of being confused about this shit.  
"Was it about Cas?" Dean inquiries. You and Castiel have a moment of confusing eye contact before you turn your attention to Dean.  
"Yea, it was," you say meekly, hoping The angel doesn't ask about it later. "I don't blame you, I did too," Dean explains. "I don't know what were gonna do to stop him." Dean stands from your bed and you look back at Cas again.  
"We'll figure out in due time, I guess," you say, keeping Cas' gaze. "Hey listen Dean, it's pretty early and I don't think either of us are going back to bed," you continue. "Wanna grab us a couple of cold ones and we can talk til we either pass out or the others wake up?" Dean smiles and, like any older brother, does the stereotypical hair rustle.  
"Sounds good, sweetheart. I'll go make us some grub and grab the beers." Dean leaves, you shut the door behind him, and walk over to Cas.  
"What the fuck was that?" You ask the angel. "I was about to ask you the same thing," he says.  
"How come Dean couldn't see you?" You question. "I was cloaked, so I should have been hidden to you both. Not just Dean," Cas explains.  
"I think the appropriate question to ask would be, why can _you_ see me?"  
"I... I don't know," you say, gaze dropping to the floor. "The same thing happened this morning too." You decide it's best to leave out that you saw him and Crowley in the backyard as well.  
Castiel lifts your chin to meet your eyes and you blush. _Thank god_ it's dark in your room.  
"Dean will be back soon, so I must leave. But Aya..."  
Castiel stares into your eyes with seriousness, yet it's soaked in gentleness. His hand moves and rests on your neck.  
"I need to check something before I leave."  
"What... What is it?" You stutter, unsure of what he wants to do.  
"I've had a suspicion about you since the moment I met you. I don't know when I'll see you again, and must be sure of this before I fight Raphael," Castiel explains.  
"What do you wanna check?" You ask.  
"I won't say until I'm certain, but... I require permission for something that is not taken lightly."  
Your brow furrows in curiosity and wariness.  
"I need you to let me see your soul."  
"W-what? Why?" You question.  
"It's the only way to prove my hypothesis right or wrong. Will you allow me? I know it's not a simple reque-"  
"Yes" you say firmly.  
Castiel is taken back a bit, not expecting you to agree so easily. "Are you sure?" Castiel asks.  
"If certainty will keep you focused when you go to fight Raphael, then I'm sure. I'll let you look at my soul," you say confidently.  
"Alright th- "  
"On one condition," you interrupt. "You come back to us, to me, in one piece," you finish.  
Cas smiles, and it's a genuine one. _Fuck_ you love his smile.  
"Of course," he agrees.  
He lets go of your neck and you sit on your bed, then he kneels in front of you. "Bite down on this." He hands you a tee shirt from one of your drawers. "This will hurt. I apologize in advance," Cas explains. "Just hurry and get it over with. Dean will be back soon," you say, eyeing the door.  
"Aya?"  
"Yea?" You respond, looking back to Castiel. His face is one of content and thankfulness.  
"Thank you for trusting me."  
You smile and bite down on the shirt, and Castiel is about to press his hand into your chest when Dean walks in through your door.  
He sees Castiel, drops the food and beer bottles, and motions to pull out his hunting knife. Castiel suddenly disappears from in front of you and reappears behind Dean, then presses two fingers to his forehead. Dean passes out and immediately goes limp, but Castiel catches him before he falls to the floor. You take the t-shirt from your jaw and stand up, mouth agape.  
"Oh fuck."


	10. Inside (wo)man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Dean catches you with the one angel he doesn't want to see the most, Castiel knocks Dean unconscious and slings him onto your bed. How will you get around this in the morning? And what news awaits you both when he wakes up?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa guys, two chapters in less than one week?! I'm on a roll!! Sorry for the crummy chapter summary, there was just so much going on in this chapter. Also, kinda ironic I'm posting this on March 10th huh? You'll see what I mean once you read on ;) enjoy!
> 
> **UPDATE**: so I know my writing has been a bit inconsistent when it comes to the format, so I went back and updated all the chapters up to this point! The plot is still the same in each chapter, but I changed minor details and fixed the format, so I suggest everyone go back and reread! If you don't want to though, it's perfectly fine, since you won't relatively miss anything new (except minor changes), but I still suggest you take a trip down memory lane and reread from the start!! Love you guys xo

You stare in utter shock as Castiel cradles an unconscious Dean in his arms. 

" _What_ did you _do_?!" You say, walking over to the angel, being careful of the shattered beer bottles that soaked the wood floor and carpet.  
"Dean wasn't supposed see me here, and he unsheathed his knife; I had no choice. I didn't come here to fight," Castiel says, staring down at his friend's limp body. "Damnit, Cas," you say under your breath, pinching the bridge of your nose. His brow furrows as he avoids your eye contact, now realizing that knocking Dean's lights out probably _wasn't_ the best idea. "I'm sorry," Castiel admits. You slump your shoulders and sigh. "Here, put him on my bed." Castiel shuts your bedroom door then scoops Dean up into his arms and carries him, bridal style, to your bed as glass crunches under his feet.  
If this wasn't the worst possible situation for you right now, you'd probably be making shitty jokes about Cas being a groom and taking Dean to their honeymoon.  
You're about to ask what you two should do when you hear a small knock at your door.  
"Aya? You okay in there? I heard glass break," Sam says through the door. Great, as if your current position couldn't get any worse. You thank the stars that Sam never opens your door, always waiting for you to answer it first.  
"Cloak yourself, quick," you whisper, waving a hand at Castiel. You throw a blanket over Dean and walk over to your bedroom door, looking back to make sure the angel is hidden.  
Oh, right. You can still see him. Awesome.  
You take a deep breath to stabilize yourself and crack open your door. "Hey Sam. Sorry, did I wake you up?" You ask. "Yea but it's alright. You okay in here? I coulda sworn I heard glass break or something," Sam says, leaning to the side to try to peak into your room. You hastily push yourself out of your room and close the door before he can see his brother's feet dangling off the end of your bed. You gotta come up with a story, and quick.  
"Y-Yeah. I woke up hungry enough to eat a horse, so I went downstairs to make some food and grab a beer. But when I came back up to my room, a mouse scurried across my feet and startled me, so I dropped my plate and bottle. My bad," you say with a nervous chuckle. Sam raises an eyebrow.  
"We didn't eat dinner when we got back, so whatja expect from a growing little black hole like me?" You say, adding a little nudge with your elbow for emphasis. Sam seems to take the bait, smirking and chuckling. "Good point. Did you clean it up yet? I can help you if you-" Sam reaches for your doorknob as he speaks, but you shift your body over the handle and cut him off.  
"Thaaat's okay, I got it taken care of. Besides, I got girly stuff laying around and I think we can both agree that you don't wanna see those." Sam steps back and hold up both of his hands, his laugh now taking on its own tinge of nerves. "Yea good point. Well, if everything's good then I'll just head back to bed," Sam says, pointing a thumb behind him in the direction of his room.  
"Alright Sam. Sleep well," you say, backing into your bedroom.  
"Night."  
You gingerly shut the door behind you and slide down it, letting out a long sigh. "Whew, that was close," you say, looking up at Cas. "I should say so," he agrees. "So what are we gonna do about sleeping beauty?" You ask, standing back up and gesturing to Dean. "I don't know," Cas says, looking to your bed. "I could wipe his memory?"  
"No, that would risk Dean having memories with no clear end and I don't wanna do any more damage than what's already done."  
You start to walk over to the bed, trying to think of a way out of this, when you step on a shard of glass from the broken beer bottles. You hiss and lean on your dresser, pulling your foot up to look at the cut. You motion to pick the shard out of your skin when Castiel's hand gently catches your wrist. "Let me get it," he says as his free hand touches the sole of your foot. "Heh, kinda reminds me of the day after we met, huh?" You say, reminiscing the day you said goodbye to your childhood home, cut your hands on your broken picture frame, and Castiel healed the cuts. Castiel lets out a small laugh.  
"Yes, it does in a way, doesn't it?"  
You expect a warm sensation, but instead a cooling one spreads through your foot. Castiel then presses a thumb to your sole. "You can't feel this, correct?" He asks, and he's right; your whole foot is now completely numb. "Y-Yea," you meekly answer. Castiel then slowly pulls the shard of glass out of your senseless foot, and you realize it's bigger than you thought. Once it's out, Castiel then places his hand back on your sole, now spreading warm little sparks through your foot, and the cut heals before your eyes. "Whoa," you say. "I didn't know you could do the numbing-thing, too. That's awesome."  
Castiel gives you a small smile. "Yes; I don't use it often, and can only do it on small areas, but it comes in handy occasionally. I had to remove the glass before I healed you, and I didn't want to hurt you any further." Castiel lets go of your foot and you hop down from your dresser, then walk over to the unconscious man in your bed. Just then, you realize exactly how you're gonna fix the situation.  
"Hey, I got an idea," you say, pulling on your boots so you don't step on more glass. "What is it?" Castiel inquiries.  
"Stay here," you respond as you hurry out of your room and downstairs. You go to the fridge and grab _all_ the beers out, then head back to your room and shut the door. You open the bottles and chug half of one, then pour the rest out the window, followed by the other bottles. You set the now empty bottles in various places around your room, then one right in dean's hand. Once you're finished, you turn your attention back to Castiel, who's confused by your actions.  
"How long until he wakes up?" You ask the angel. "It will be five hours, at least," he responds. You look at the clock and see that it's 4:00 am. "Perfect," you say, grabbing a pillow and some extra blankets from your bed, making a pallet on the floor. "When he wakes up, I'll just 'remind' him that he 'came to have a few beers with me in the middle of the night and passed out on my bed'," you say, using air-quotes excessively.  
Castiel seems to not understand at first, but when you smile and wink at him, he seems to catch on. "You are very cunning, I must say," he comments as he smiles, and you can't help but giggle at the compliment.  
"So, now that time isn't an issue due to dean's 'drunken nights'," Castiel says, using air-quotes of his own. "I have one more favor to ask of you, Aya." You suddenly feel the atmosphere of the room shift from light-hearted to serious. "What's up Cas?" You question. Castiel looks to the floor, as if he's almost ashamed of what he's about to say.  
"I know I shouldn't ask any more of you; pleading and actually receiving your trust in me was tremendous enough. But..."  
He trails off, seemingly unable to finish his request as his eyes scan the wood. You feel the nerves in his voice, so despite your own protesting, you walk to him and put a gentle hand on his upper arm. "Hey, Cas. Look at me," you say kindly. He sheepishly looks up at you, and you can't help but allow yourself to relish his puppy-dog gaze for a few moments.  
"Anything you need from me, I'll give to you. Nothing you ask of me is too big of a request," you admit, ending it with rose-tinted cheeks and a smile. Castiel looks into your eyes for a few moments, analyzing your words, before he sighs.  
"I need you to get something for me, it's very important." Your eyes must be questioning what he needs you to retrieve before your tongue can, because Castiel continues before you can say anything. "I need a journal from Bobby's collection. It was owned by Moishe Campbell. He wrote notes that will lead me in the direction of finding out how to open a portal to purgatory. I can't roam the house safely so... will you get it for me?"  
You lower your hand from his arm and break eye contact to look over at slumbering Dean. You want to help Cas, sure, but _stealing_ something from the team for him? That part makes you a little uneasy. As you flip the stone over in your mind, Castiel rests his hands on your forearms. You keep your gaze on Dean. "I know it's a difficult request; I seem to be asking many of those from you as of lately. If you do not wish to do it, I understand." Castiel's words are soft and sincere, so you look up to him.  
"If I do this, you have to do something for me in return," you say.  
"Anything," he responds.  
"You have to keep in touch with me after you leave tonight. I want to be completely in the loop until the day you open purgatory. I call, you come. Deal?" You finish your statement with eyebrows raised, and head slightly tilted. Castiel smiles. "It's a deal. I am quite busy keeping Crowley distracted enough to leave the Winchesters be, but I will try my best to come when you pray for me," he agrees. You pull Cas into a quick hug, startling him at first, but he soon eases into the embrace. "I'll be right back," you say as you break the hug. You grab a flashlight off of your nightstand then quietly sneak down to the cellar, where bobby keeps most of his research notes and books.  
It takes you a while to sift through all the dusty books and crumpled notes, but eventually you find the journal and head back to your room.  
"This it?" You say, shutting your bedroom door behind you and handing Castiel the journal. "Yes, it is," he responds, flipping through the pages. You weakly smile, looking out the window at the just rising sun. The sky is filling with brilliant shades of violet and baby pinks mix with the deep navy. "You should get going soon, Bobby wakes up pretty early," you say, turning back to Castiel.  
"Yes, I suppose I should," he responds, but doesn't move. You two just stand there, no more than two feet away from each other, in suddenly awkward silence. After a few moments, Castiel surprises you once again by holding his arms open, inviting you for one more departing hug. You blush and smile for the hundredth time tonight, and step into his embrace once more.  
"See you soon right?" You ask.  
"Just say my name and I will be there as quickly as possible," he reassures. You two break away, and you wish the hug lasted just a _little_ longer. Castiel gives you one last smile, then disappears from your bedroom.  
Needless to say, you don't get any more sleep that night.  
-  
You stay in your room all that morning, browsing your phone, until Dean starts to stir a few hours later, shuffling in your bed a bit. You take advantage of the moments before he actually wakes up to lay down on your pallet of blankets on the floor, throw one over yourself, and pretend to sleep. Dean grunts and sits up in your bed; one hand gripping his (probably throbbing) head, the other holding onto the empty beer bottle. You peek and eye open to see his expression go from analyzing the bottle in his hand, to remembering last night's events before he was knocked unconscious. He stands up quickly from your bed and almost falls on top of you; not only because he stood up too fast and got dizzy, but he also didn't expect you to be on the floor. He kneels down and shakes you "awake".  
"Aya, hey wake up. Aya," dean says, shaking your shoulder. You pretend to stir and wake up, squinting your eyes for realism.  
"Dean? Oh, you're awake," you say, sitting up and rubbing your eyelids. "I was wondering how late we both would sleep in. What time is it?"  
"What the fuck happened last night?" Dean says in a very serious tone. "Do you not remember?" You question innocently. "I remember walking in and seeing you sitting on your bed with a shirt in your mouth, and Cas at your feet, lookin' like he was gonna hurt you," dean recalls.  
He thinks Cas was trying to _hurt_ me? You think. No wonder he pulled his knife on the angel.  
"What are you talking about, Deanie-Bean? You came in here last night to check on me, we had a couple of drinks cuz neither of us could sleep, and you passed out on my bed," you say, gesturing to the empty beer bottles you strategically placed around the room. "And I had to sleep on the floor, no thanks to you," you say, cracking your spine. Dean gives you a look of total confusion.  
"But Cas-"  
"You probably had another dream, dude. I don't blame you, I had another one too. But Cas was never here. Remember the wards we put up?" you ask. "Yea I guess. But _hell_ Aya. That was so real," Dean cautiously says, raking a hand through his hair. "I know Dean, it's okay," you give him a reassuring pat on the arm, and he seems to lighten up a little.  
"On a different note though, if you ever pass out drunk on my bed again, I'm pushing you out of it. You get the floor next time," you say, smirking. Dean seems to take the bait, smirking back. "Yea yea, you can have your bed princess. Made my neck stiff anyways, ouch," he says, rubbing his neck for emphasis. "I'm gonna go pop some pain killers and shower. Meet me downstairs in twenty," Dean says as he stands up and makes his way to the door.  
"Sounds good. I need five more minutes anyways," you say, waving him off and crawling into your bed. As soon as the door shuts though, you stand up and fist pump victoriously. "Yes!" You proclaim to yourself. As much as you hate having to lie, you gotta hand it to yourself: you're a _damn_ good actor sometimes.  
You get dressed and head downstairs the same time Dean does. You both enter the foyer to see Sam sitting at the desk, shuffling and reading through a stack of books.  
"What's going on Sam?" You ask, walking over to the desk to lean on the corner. Sam looks up at you from the notebook in his hand, then looks to Dean. "You guys are finally awake, was wondering when you guys would stir. _Whoa_ , Dean. You look like you had a rough morning," Sam says. Dean didn't drink anything last night before Castiel knocked him out, but neither of the brothers know that; so all you can do is hold your tongue at Sam's comment and feel bad for Dean. "Shut up," Dean barks, scratching his head and picking up a journal. "What are you lookin' for anyway?" Dean asks.  
"We're trying to find anything we can use to stop Cas from opening up purgatory," Bobby continues for Sam as he walks into the room, plopping down another tall stack of papers and books. "You two lazy asses gonna help or what?"  
You and Dean exchange looks, shrug and pick up your books of choice.  
For the next few hours, you and the team sift through piles of works, not finding a single piece of information to help stop Castiel's plan.  
Not that that's what you personally are trying to do now.  
Dean grunts and closes the book he is reading and tosses it into the pile of useless notes and journals. "This is pointless, we're not finding anything in any of these books, Bobby," Dean calls from the foyer to Bobby down in the cellar.  
"Well, it's not about the journals we _do_ have," Bobby calls back, then emerges from the cellar with an envelope in his grip. "It's about the one we _don't_ ," he finishes. Sam's brow furrows. "Meaning what?" He questions. "That's the bad news. The one we do need is missing from my collection," Bobby responds. Dean stands up from his chair, so you close your book and stand as well. "What's missing?" Dean asks. "The journal of one Moishe Campbell," Bobby responds. You feel your stomach drop, so you try to act as clueless about it as Sam and Dean are. "So what, do you think Cas took it? But how?" You blatantly ask, knowing that's what everyone is already thinking, to take away any attention on you. "I don't know, but that's what I'm thinkin'," Bobby says. "So we gotta get it back then right?" Sam suggests, and you hope and pray that bobby says no. Bobby then smacks the envelope he's been cradling down onto the desk in front of the younger brother. "Or we could just read the copies I already made." You curse under your breath quiet enough that no one hears you. Good news? You don't have to go looking for Cas. Bad news? There might be a way to stop him in that envelope. Bobby smiles and adjusts his jacket. "Hi, glad to meet you. Bobby Singer; professional paranoid bastard." Sam opens the envelope and splits the notes four ways, giving everyone a pile to read. "I think I zeroed in on something," Bobby says after you and the team have been reading for no more than twenty minutes. "Whatdya' got?" Dean asks as Bobby hands him the current page he's reading. "Went to have lunch with and talk to Howard Phillips about the events of March 10th," Dean reads off the page. "That's from 1937, by the by," Bobby adds. Dean hands Sam the page and you set your stack of papers on an end table. "So who's this Phillips guy then?" You ask. "Phillips ain't his last name," Bobby corrects. "It's Lovecraft." Your jaw drops and you look over to Sam, who has the same expression as you. "Wait, H.P. Lovecraft? _The_ H.P. Lovecraft?" Sam questions before you can. "Am I supposed to know who this guy is?" Dean questions, and as if on queue, Bobby's, Sam's and your brows furrow. "Horror writer? _At the Mountains of Madness, The Call of Cthulhu?_ " Bobby questions, and Dean only shrugs, sipping his coffee. "Well either way, there's one thing that comes as a common theme in many of his stories."  
"Opening portals to other dimensions," you chime in, and Bobby nods his head in approval of your book knowledge. "Mhm. And letting the scary crap through," Bobby continues.  
"So you're saying Lovecraft knew something about purgatory?" Sam questions. "All I know is Moishe paid him a visit, and if a hunter wanted to have a tea party with a book writer, then something must be up," Bobby finishes.  
After another half hour of sifting through Moishe Campbell's journal entries, Dean gets a phone call. You look up from your notes as he answers, and watch as his face quickly shifts from confusion to concern. "Ben? What? What are they? Did you see their eyes? What about teeth?"  
Sam looks up from his notes, his own concern riddling his face. He stands up from the desk. You can't make out what he's saying, but you think you hear a teenage boy on the other side of the line.  
"This is important Ben, I need to know. Where are you now? Get to your mom's closet, I left a shotgun in there."  
You set your notes down, feeling the change in the room swiftly go to serious in a matter of seconds. Dean swipes a hand across his face.  
"Okay Ben, listen to me closely: go to your window and jump."  
You and Sam exchange looks, giving him the "who is that?" look. You're not sure what's going on, unable to make out much of what the boy is saying; but by the way everyone's reacting, it can't be anything good.  
"Any bones you break won't compare to what they'll do to you, you _have_ to jump. I'm coming right now, I'm coming to get you and your mom I promise."  
You helplessly listen as dean's words go from a grave tone to yelling into the phone in a matter of seconds, panic filling his eyes.  
"Ben you with me? Ben? _Ben_?!"  
You hear the voice change on Dean's phone call, and you can almost physically see his stomach drop.  
"Hello, Dean."  
Dean stands up from the couch, keeping a death grip on his phone.  
"Crowley, let them go, _now_. Or I swear-"  
Crowley? _Fuck_. This is bad. What's _happening_?  
"I'm telling you. Last chance to let them go easy."  
After a few moments, Dean lowers the phone from his ear, dial tone sounding before he hits the end button. Everyone is silent for a few moments before you stand from your chair. "What's happening Dean?" Sam questions, since you are thoroughly confused by the situation.  
"Crowley's got Lisa and Ben, and he said they keep breathing as long as we sit here and back off," Dean says quietly. You can almost feel the sweltering heat from anger radiating off of him, so you don't dare ask who these people are to Dean. You can only safely assume, by his reaction, that they are important to him. "You think Cas knows about this?" Sam questions. "We gotta assume he does," Dean responds. Your stomach flips at the assumption; despite the team being unaware, you're certain Cas doesn't know. He would never let something like this slide, even if he is working with Crowley...  
_Would he?_  
Before your emotions have a chance to go back into the melting pot however, Sam breaks the silence, pulling you from your thoughts. "So what are we gonna do?" He asks his brother. "I tell you what we're _not_ gonna do, sit here. I'm going after him," Dean answers as he yanks on his boots and heads for the door.  
"I'm going with," the younger brother protests.  
"No Sam. You guys stay on the Lovecraft thing, we need to stay on top of that. This is my problem to deal with," Dean barks.  
"If you think I'm gonna let you go al-"  
"No splitting up guys," Bobby interrupts.  
"Okay everyone just stop!" You exclaim, and the room quickly goes silent. Once you have everyone's attention, you sigh and put your own word in. "You need backup Dean; Crowley's slimy as fuck and you don't know what you're walking into. Sam, go with your brother and make sure you find them and keep Dean from losing his head. Bobby and I will stay here and work on the Lovecraft case. You call and keep us updated. Okay? Is everyone okay with this?" You finish, raising your arms and looking everyone in the face. "Fine," Dean mumbles. "Good by me. But how are you two gonna find Lisa and Ben?" Bobby says.  
Dean and Sam exchange looks.  
"We're gonna call in for some angelic help," Dean says, making his way out the door. Before you can ask who they're gonna call, because it's obviously not gonna be Cas, Sam is already out on his way as well, leaving Bobby and you standing in the foyer.  
"Well, what now?" You ask, making your way back to your chair. "Just more note reading then?"  
Bobby stands in his place for a moment thinking, before he seems to come up with an answer. He walks over to the desk and pulls out a dinosaur-age laptop, flips it open and starts typing. "I think we need to find out more about Lovecraft, and exactly what happened on March 10th, 1937. So what do you do when you need the scoop on a famous person?" Bobby asks, raising an eyebrow as he looks at you. You ponder for a moment, then snap your fingers at the realization.  
"You find a die-hard fan," you confidently say, pointing your index finger Bobby's way.  
"Exactly."  
You sit for a few moments listening to the click-clack of the keyboard when Bobby seems to find something. "Jackpot. C'mere, take a look at this," he says. You stand from your chair and walk over to the laptop, seeing that its web browser is opened to a fan page for Lovecraft's works. At the top, you see a photo with contact information for the site's creator.  
"Judah Westborough," you read off the page. "He's got his phone number listed, too. Let's see if we can set up an interview with him today," Bobby says as he pulls out his cell.  
As Bobby leaves the room to take the call, you think about this morning, and remember how you can see Castiel while he supposed to be invisible to humans. "Hmm. I wonder." You pull the laptop closer to you and open up a new tab, keeping the Lovecraft fan page open. You google one simple word: angels.  
The page loads and you click on the first link; a Wikipedia page of angel lore. You skim through it, but just before you can click on the section "interactions with angels", Bobby steps back into the foyer. You quickly close the tab and sit back in your chair as if you had never used the laptop.  
"Alright, I set up an interview with 'the Wondrous Mr. Westborough." You raise an eyebrow at Bobby's choice of words.  
"Hey, his words, not mine. Apparently that's what his site's users call him. You'd think it was a kinda cult," Bobby says, rolling his eyes in the process. "It's about a two hour drive to his town, so we should get going. Let's put on our most book-wormy clothes and head out, shall we?" Bobby asks as he makes his way to the stairs. You glance over at the laptop. If you stay here, maybe you can get some answers to your own personal questions.  
"Hey, what if I stay here?" You ask, and Bobby's brow furrows. "To see if I can dig anything else up in his books. I'm sure there's gotta be something in there that can give us a little insight if I skim through them," you quickly add. "Besides, if Sam and Dean come back needing backup, one of us should be here to go with them." Bobby stands at the end of the stairs, contemplating your suggestion. He shrugs and continues up the stairs. "Yea, guess you make a point. Call me if you find anything," he says, disappearing upstairs.  
"Will do," you say.  
Once Bobby leaves, you immediately grab the laptop and head to the fridge to get a drink. Oh, you poured them all out to cover your ass. Right.  
You sigh and opt out for a water bottle, then head upstairs to start digging. You sit on your bed and open up a new tab, then go back to the Wikipedia page you were reading. You scroll down to the section you were looking at just before you closed it. You read the passage, but it seems all interactions were either biblical accounts or some form of which. You sigh and open up a new window, now googling "humans that can see angels." All you find is biased accounts of believers of various religions claiming they saw an angel. You sigh again. You're not expecting to find much, which you don't, without having to dig deep, but after a solid twenty minutes of searching, a page catches your eye: "Humans mingling with angels." You raise an eyebrow and click the link. You find that the page is actually in Latin, and although Sam and Dean haven't taught you much about it yet, you manage to make out a few words;  
humans, angels, tier, breed, light, create, and link.  
"What do all these have to do with each other?" You question. You skim through the paragraphs again and realize one word keeps popping up that you don't recognize:  
_gigantes_.  
You leave the laptop on your bed and dig through the books downstairs until you find a Latin-to-English dictionary. You flip through and find that the word means "giants". Should've seen that one coming, you guess. You go back upstairs and do more digging, googling for the next half-hour more information about the word in correlation to angels. You don't find anything useful until you google "giants in the bible." You click a link titled "Giants in the Old Testament," and nothing connects to angels until you see a small stub titled " _The Nephilim_ " at the very end of the three page long article. You click the link and read:

" _(Genesis 6:4) 'There were giants on the earth in those days, and also afterward, when the sons of God came in to the daughters of men and they bore children to them. Those we're the mighty men who were of old, men of renown.'_

_The Latin word translated as "giants" in this verse is the Hebrew word 'nephilim', and many bible verses transliterate it as such._ "

"Nephilim," you say back to yourself. But just before you get the chance to read any further, your cell rings and you pick it up.  
"Hey Bobby, find anything?" You say.  
"Lovecraft tried to jimmy into a door to purgatory, idjot," Bobby scoffs. "So what happened then?" You question.  
"Well, nothing much surprisingly, except for the fact that everyone who was invited to the dinner was either dead or missing within a year." You scoff. "Whoa, so what now?" You say, closing out your browsing window and shutting the laptop. "Heading to see one of the attendees."  
Your brow furrows as you walk downstairs. "I thought you said everyone died?" You question.  
"Yea, everyone _invited_ did. But the maid had a nine-year old she had to bring on the job. He's 83 now," Bobby says, and you can hear him shut his car door over the phone. "Where is he now?" You ask.  
"Same place he's been since the dinner went down; locked in a loony house," Bobby responds.  
"Huh, well I haven't found much yet and no word from Sam and Dean, so I'll let you go. Give them a call and keep me updated," you finish as you set the laptop down where Bobby had left it.  
"Okay, see ya in a few hours."  
You hang up the phone and lean on the desk, contemplating the new information at hand; not just about Lovecraft's dinner, but what you dug up about angels and the odd ones called "the nephilim". You've got so many unanswered questions.  
Who were the nephilim? What did they have to do with angels? And the two most important, did Cas know about Lisa and Ben, and why the _hell_ can you see Cas when he cloaks himself?  
As the last question strolls through your mind, you remember something.  
Cas never looked at your soul. He never got the answer to his question about you.  
You walk to the kitchen and pour yourself a shot of Bobby's whiskey. "Well let's see if I can get some answers while giving them," you say just before you knock the shot back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy Hell guys, things are getting really crazy, really fast. And I've got a double-whammy waiting for you guys in the next chapter/two chapters. what do you think is in store? I'd love to hear your ideas in the comments!! As always, thanks for reading and going on this journey with me xoxo


	11. You Call, I come

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're determined to ask your feathered friend a few questions before he cracks open purgatory, but are you really ready for the answers he gives you?

You grab a blanket from your room, walk outside the house and around the side. You enter "Singer's Salvage Yard", reading the sign as you pass below it. You squeeze through a break in the wooden fence surrounding the property and trudge down into the overgrowth of the backyard forest, marveling at the gigantic trees as you pass under them. You don't expect Bobby home anytime soon, let alone the boys, so you figure you've got plenty of time to talk if you call Cas. You hope he's not busy right now, you think to yourself, but then scoff at the thought.  
Because pulling him away from Crowley would be _such_ a bad thing.  
You only walk a short distance from the house before you find a nice clearing between the trees. A boulder with moss growing up its sides stands in the tall, uncut grass, and you lay the blanket down at its base. You hop on top of the boulder, then finally acknowledge your heartbeat; it has now picked up a little in pace at the realization of what you're about to do. You take a deep breath to stabilize yourself.  
"Castiel? Hey. If you're not busy, I'd like to talk to you for a minute."  
As you wait, you look at the forest surrounding you, and the sun slowly inching closer to the mountains in the west.  
"You call, I come."  
You twist your body to find Castiel standing behind the boulder you're perched on. "Cas," you say with a smile as you jump down and walk over to him. He gives you a gentle smile of his own and holds open his arms, to which you gladly stride into, completing the hug. "Hey," you say as you wrap your arms around his torso. "Hello, Aya," he responds. You pull away from him and get a good look at his face; his smile warms you to the core as always, but there's something off about it. Castiel seems... Worn.  
"Everything okay?" You ask, worry quickly filling your face. "Nothing to be concerned over. You summoned me?" Castiel says, quickly and seemingly glad to change the subject. You then remind yourself of what you originally called him here for. "Here, come with me," you say, walking around the boulder once more and sitting down on the blanket. Castiel follows and you pat the spot next to you. He sits and follows your gaze up to the setting sun. "Before anything else, I have to ask you something," you say, and the atmosphere takes on a slightly more serious tone, making Castiel stiffen his frame a bit. "What is it?" He questions. You take a deep breath. "Did you know Crowley was going to kidnap Lisa and Ben?" you ask, looking at him with the most serious look you can muster. Castiel's face fills with a mix of sadness, concern, and frustration. His eyes break your gaze, landing on a ladybug crawling on a blade of grass. "Of course not; I knew nothing about it. He won't tell me where they are, either," Castiel says, his head lowering. "Despite my efforts to find them, they are still missing," Castiel mutters. You're about to say something but he cuts you off, taking your hand into his. "But I promise you I had nothing to do with Crowley's plan to kidnap them. As far as I know, they are fine for now, and I will find them before anything else happens to them, rest assured."  
"Does Dean know you're looking for them?" You ask.  
"Yes, but he refuses my help. Even so, I feel the need to take some responsibility for this," Castiel says, his face shifting to a look of guilt. "It was not my intention for my arrangements with Crowley to turn like this."  
You study the tall grass, debating whether or not to ask the newest question on your mind. "Cas, how are you and Crowley planning to split the souls if you succeed and open purgatory?" You question. Castiel avoids your eye contact once again. "We are splitting them in half," he admits. "And what are you planning to do with them once you defeat Raphael?" You continue. "I plan to return them to purgatory," Cas says, now returning your gaze. You can see the sincerity and sadness in the oceans of his eyes. "But what about Crowley? Do you really believe he's going to do the same?" You reason. Cas breaks your eye contact yet again, now seeming unsure of himself. "And are you sure that will be enough to overpower Raphael?"  
"I honestly did not think that far," he admits. You look down at your clasped hands, yours succumbing to the sheer size of his palm. You swallow hard, and prepare yourself for the proposition you have in mind.  
"What if you take _all_ the souls?" You say quietly.  
Castiel's eyes shoot up to meet yours. "We already knew it wasn't a good idea to hand all of that power to the king of hell, and knowing typical Crowley, he won't return it. At least with you, we know you'll put them back in their rightful place when the battle is won." You gently squeeze his hand. "What do you think? Playing Crowley's own sneaky cards against him?" Castiel looks up to the now dark sky. "You do make excellent points. But there's one thing I'm afraid of if I do this, and it's certainly not Crowley." Your brow furrows. "What is it?" You question. Castiel sighs. "Souls are very unstable, powerful sources of energy. Even absorbing just _one_ is dangerous, but _millions_? That amount of power can easily corrupt someone, inside and out. If my will is not strong enough, if my vessel cannot handle it..." He trails off and looks to your conjoined hands again. He runs a thumb over the back of your palm. "Things will not end well for me."  
Your stomach drops; it never occurred to you that Castiel could actually get _badly_ hurt doing any of this.  
_He could die doing this._  
Your eyes start to water. "I'm worried if I take on that many souls, I may not come back from it, mentally let alone physically. I may not come back to y-" you don't even give Castiel the chance to finish his sentence; you swiftly move from your sitting place to his lap, arms wrapping around his neck as a tear falls.  
"Don't you _dare_ finish that sentence. Don't," you say as your voice shakes.  
"Aya-"  
"You _promised_ me you'd come back to me in one piece. You promised me that you and I would get our chances." Your arms wrap tighter around him.  
"You better keep that." Castiel sighs and wraps his arms around you, enveloping you in a warm embrace that presses the chill in the air away from your frame.  
"You can do this, Cas. Your will _is_ strong enough to handle it. And if not yours, then _mine_ is in you. I know you can handle the souls, I know you can beat Raphael. I believe in you; I trust that you can."  
Castiel nestles his head in the crook of your neck, breathing in the sweet perfume of your hair.  
"As long as you are here to keep me stable, then I will keep that promise," Castiel reassures, despite his uneasiness. You lean away from him and wipe the tears from your eyes, a small smile on your lips.  
"Thank you Cas."  
"No," he interrupts. "Thank _you_."  
He smiles and gently brushes strands of hair out of your face. Once you calm down, you realize you've been perched in Castiel's lap; your face immediately begins to ignite.  
"Oh, s-sorry," you stutter, motioning to get off of him. Before you can actually leave his lap though, his hands find your waist, keeping you in place. "It's alright; you do not have to move," he reassures you, giving you a smile. Then you notice...  
Oh my God, is he _blushing_? Can angels _even_ blush?  
You blink a few times, and your heart rate picks up. "Here, try this," Castiel suggests, pulling you away from your initial shock. He gently motions you to sit between his legs and lean back on his chest. Once you do, you realize just how dark it is now. "Whoa," you say, looking up to the navy sky and marveling at the stars. Castiel, however, is looking into your eyes, silently appreciating the shiny reflections of the stars in them.  
"Tell me, who put the stars in the sky? Was it God?" You ask after a few minutes of stargazing. "Contrary to popular belief, no he did not. I did," Castiel nonchalantly reveals. You turn your body a bit to face him. " _You_? _You_ put the stars in the sky?" you ask, almost not believing what you're hearing. Castiel smiles. "I cannot take all the credit. My older, higher-tiered brother Michael was commissioned to do it; but after a few billion stars, he grew bored, so he requested that I take over. I used more than what was assigned, but I wanted humans to be able to have some light at night to guide them." You feel a smile stretch across your face from ear to ear, and before giving yourself a chance to think about it, you lean up to give Castiel a small kiss on his left cheek, then turn away to face the stars again. "You're amazing Cas," you quietly say. As the words leave your mouth, you realize what you just did and the residues of your blush come back full force. Castiel seems just as surprised and flustered as he tries of change the subject. "Did you, uh, have any other questions to ask me? Or did you just want to, uhm... 'hang out'?"  
You _almost_ giggle at his words. You, just a regular human hunter, somehow managed to ruffle the feathers of an angel of the Lord; pun _completely_ intended.  
You take a deep breath, remembering the reason you called Castiel here in the first place, before you continue the conversation. You turn to face him once more so you're sitting sideways, your legs slung over his left thigh.  
"Cas, what are nephilim, and what do they have to do with angels?"  
Castiel becomes rigid, seemingly surprised that you even know that term. His eyes scan your face, then drift down to your hourglass necklace, just like they did all those weeks ago on the rooftop. "Remember when I asked you if I could see your soul?" Cas cautiously asks. You chuckle, feeling a little taken back by the sudden question. "Well that _was_ last night, so yes I do. You never even got to because of Dean, by the way," you say, giving him a small smile. He doesn't smile back, which makes yours deteriorate quickly.  
Castiel breaks away from your gaze momentarily, trying to find the right words. 

"Long ago, angels of many different tiers wandered the Earth with humans. Even archangels visited the humans' domain occasionally. We were instructed to not interact with humans unless specified, but some angels got quite... _acquainted_ with humans."  
Castiel pauses, gauging your reaction as you hang on to every one of his words.  
"Although we are technically different species, angels and humans can in fact breed together and create viable offspring. The result is a half-mortal, half-angelic child. These children were referred to by heaven as 'The Nephilim'. God had since left heaven long before these occurrences, so the births of the Nephilim children were reported to Michael, the highest ranking angel. When he discovered angels were breeding with humans, he visited earth for a short period and rid it of all existing half-angel children at the time, then ordered all angels above a cherub's tier to return to heaven. Unless they were given specific orders, they were not to return to Earth. Angels breeding with humans was from then on heavily forbidden; being perceived as creating new species without the consent of God, and therefore are seen as abominations by most angels." You are utterly shocked at Castiel's words, and even that is an understatement.  
"So these... children. Did they have angelic powers?" You ask, trying to process the information given to you. "Limited, but yes, they did." You both are silent for a moment, not knowing how to continue the conversation. "Because these children were half-angel, the Nephilim could hear the transmissions angels can send each other telepathically, and could even sense and understand Enochian. In extremely rare cases, they could be born with wings. Angels also do not need to sleep, so the Nephilim children typically had sleeping problems."  
A knot begins to form in your stomach.  
"But most importantly, they could perceive the supernatural plane angels reside in while they are on earth, whether or not they had a vessel as well as if they were cloaked. Humans can only see angels if they choose to be seen, but because of the childrens' angelic DNA, they could see us at all times, just as a full-blooded angel can."  
Your eyes begin to scan the tall grass softly bending with the wind, hoping to find clarity for your swimming mind. You don't.  
"How do you check to see if someone is angel-born?" You ask quietly.  
Castiel gently takes both of your hands between his palms, eyes moving from your conjoined hands to your eyes.  
"A full-blooded angel must see their soul." 

Your breath catches in your throat, and your head is screaming with information and possibilities as your eyes scan Castiel's face. Cas then shifts you so you're completely facing him, sitting in his lap as you were before. "Angels can be stripped of their grace, leaving them human and powerless. As long as it is bottled with a tight seal, it won't return to its angel. Although they are only half-angelic, nephilim have grace of their own, and it can be taken from them as well, turning them mortal." Castiel lets one hand leave yours and it gently finds your cheek; you lean into his touch as tears start to form once again. You close you eyes as they fall. "Ever since the day I met first you, I knew there was something that set you aside from other humans; from the way you hunt to the very core of your being. I sensed traces of grace in your soul, and the paper that is encased in your necklace has Enochian written on it."  
You feel another tear run down your cheek, onto Castiel's hand. He swipes the trail away with his thumb. "I know you are overwhelmed, but because I gave you new information, I will ask for permission again:  
I need to know if it's true; I need to know if you truly are angel-born or not. Will you allow me to see your soul?"  
Your watery gaze looks into Castiel's eyes, which have the same other-worldly glow they had at the police station in Oregon. They are filled with kindness and understanding and a whole new emotion you haven't seen on Cas before: endearment.  
"Yes," you say softly.  
Castiel looks upon you with gentleness as he carefully moves you out of his lap, handling you as though you're as fragile as a rose petal.  
You both kneel on the blanket in the cool night air. Castiel places one arm around your torso to steady you, then the other gently on your sternum.  
"Tell me when you are ready," Cas says as grips you firmly. You swallow and look up once more at the stars, studying as many as you can; like it's the last time you'll ever see them the same way. You look back down to Castiel with glassy eyes.  
"I'm ready."  
Castiel nods, then proceeds with the process.  
He turns his now heavy focus on his right hand, and you immediately feel an immense pressure on your chest, and a blazing heat spreads from your sternum to every inch and crevice of your body. Castiel's hand then slowly sinks into your chest, and suddenly a bright light emanates from you, illuminating the small corner of the earth that you two occupy. The best description you can give of the light is that it is milky silver-blue. Within seconds, the light grows powerful enough to make all the surrounding forest glisten and shine in the night. You feel a wave of calm promptly follow the surge, and as you feel your heartbeat sedate, pulses of energy ring out of you to your heart's tempo like aftershocks and oscillate all surrounding plant life. Castiel slowly pulls his hand half way out of your chest. You look down to see his palm is closed tightly, but his fingers soon fall away, revealing the source of the light and pulses: a glowing, luminescent orb. It looks like a small sun, you think. Castiel studies the orb as it constantly sparks and flashes multicolored flares, handling it with the greatest care. You close your eyes, and you feel the world come alive around you like never before. You can feel the Earth slowly rotating beneath the blanket, and hear every branch of the trees rustling in the distance. You can hear every living creature in the lush forest for what seems like miles. Despite the darkness of the night, the colors of your surroundings become more vivid than you've ever seen in the light of your soul. You can even hear Castiel's heart beating, steady and calm, and it's the most beautiful sound you've ever heard. It's as though time slowed just for you both, and you and Castiel created your own little world between the lines of reality.  
You sit there with Cas as he watches your soul for what seems like hours, before his hand slowly closes and disappears into your chest once more. Soon after, you feel the world hush around you, and Castiel's heartbeat fades from your ears. The heat begins to die as he carefully pulls his hand out of your chest, and the light dwindles away as the hole seals itself.  
You and Castiel sit there completely silent for some time before you manage to find your voice.  
"That was... wonderful," you say, sad that you had to settle, since there's no words that even come _close_ to what you just experienced.  
"Aya... your soul..." Castiel trails off, unable to find the right words himself. Another few minutes of silence reign before either of you speak again.  
"Is it true?" You quietly ask.  
"Am I a Nephilim?"  
Castiel looks up to you, face filled with thought and eyes brimming with endearment.  
"Well, you _certainly_ are half-angel; that I can be sure of."  
You don't know whether to laugh or cry, so you do both as you lean into hug Castiel.  
"What does this mean for me now, then?" You ask as tears fall onto his shoulder.  
"Being truthful, I do not know. But, I _do_ know there's one thing that completely separates you from other Nephilim," he continues, pulling away momentarily.  
"W-What is it?" you stutter.  
"Your soul. It's not like other Nephilims' souls. Yours is... Powerful. Unlike any power I've ever seen."  
The back of his hand strokes your cheek.  
"The way your soul appeared, the way it _reacted_... It leads me to believe that one of your parents was not just any angel."  
Your brow furrows as you wipe a tear away. "What do you think they were then?" You ask.  
Castiel's eyes meet yours, as he looks as though he doesn't know whether to be happy or concerned.

"I think they were an archangel."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE WOO


	12. We Rise, We Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HOLY CRAP GUYS, I am SO sorry it took me so long to update. Life has been throwing a lot of stuff in my lane and I've been too stressed to write anything at all, from my fanfics to poetry. But rest assured I am not dead and I have not abandoned you all! To make up for my absence, I have a long, two-part (I'll explain at the end why it had to be split) chapter filled to the absolute brim with drama and madness, as well as a smutty/fluffy Dean oneshot that will be posted tomorrow for any dirty sinners out there who are interested! ;) I tried to pack as much as I could into this chapter because this is an important one, so I apologize if some parts seem rushed; I tried my best to avoid that! ALRIGHTY my lovely humans, I'll stop talking now, enjoy! xo

You pull your legs to your chest and let out an airy chuckle.  
"I almost can't believe this," you say, lowering your chin to rest on your kneecaps. "This changes everything, doesn't it?" You lift your glassy eyes to meet Castiel's gentle gaze.  
"Yes, I believe so," he answers. A few moments of silence reign as you try to imagine what the future holds; your brain flutters with hundreds of questions, but little answers.  
"So... how exactly does having an archangel for a parent make my soul different from a normal angel-born?" you inquiry, trying to picture your mom or pop with giant wings. Castiel's brow knits together, as it usually does when he's in thought. You think if this wasn't such a serious topic, you'd giggle due to how adorable you find the gesture.  
"Well, I'm not entirely certain, but I have a theory. When a Nephilim child is conceived, their DNA's angelic strands create their grace at the same time their soul is being woven. But because they are half-human, their grace isn't as strong as the angel parent's; so they essentially create and gain a diluted form of grace. However, if you compare an average-tiered angel's grace to an archangel's, there's no contest. An archangel's grace is specifically designed to be thousands of times more powerful and unpredictable than their lesser siblings. In short, this may be the reasoning behind your soul's magnified power; because you inherited the DNA of a more condensed version of grace to create yours before it was extracted, and it, of course, left remnants inside of your soul."  
You sigh and rub one temple, hoping your headache due to the onslaught of information will dissipate soon.  
"How long do you think I've been without it?" you ask, slightly avoiding calling the grace on topic yours.  
Castiel looks to your boots, which are covered in scuffs of dirt and grass blades. "Despite its powerful reaction, your soul did only have mere traces of your grace. I would guess it's been quite some time since you've had it; possibly even since you were an infant."  
"So no wonder I don't remember being angelic," you say with undertones of sarcasm.  
"And earlier you said it's possible to bottle and keep it from its angel. Does that mean it can be destroyed if it can be captured?" you question, and you feel your chest tighten as you form your words. The thought of something that is a part of you, even if you weren't aware of it's existence until very recently, being permanently erased makes your stomach lurch.  
"Thankfully, no; there's only two ways grace can be destroyed. The first being another body gains it, and it deteriorates due to being tied to the wrong angel; the second being the soul that created it dies while it's absorbed." You nod, silently thanking the heavens that those are the only exceptions.  
"So... _my_ grace," you continue. You feel unusual saying it out loud; _your_ grace. "Unless someone else did first, that means it's still out there somewhere to be found right?"  
Castiel darts his eyes to you, now realizing that your theory is definitely possible. His eyes shine with a new found hopefulness. In turn to his positive change of mood, you blush, remembering how he can still affect the capillaries in your face so easily.  
"Yes, you're exactly right. But the real question-"  
"Is how do we find it," you finish his sentence. You sit there momentarily, wracking your brain for anything that can help, when you remember the hourglass necklace around your neck. Your eyes widen as your take it off and dangle it between you and Castiel's faces. "Remember when I told you what my dad said to me when he gave me this?" You ask.  
"That it would give you direction in life," Castiel recalls.  
"Exactly. You said there's Enochian written on the paper inside. Maybe this is the direction he meant; the way to my grace! Can you get it out without breaking the-"  
Before you can finish, you blink and find Castiel holding the tiny roll of paper in his palm, and your necklace still in tact. You smile, put your hourglass back on, and take the paper. You remember Castiel saying Nephilim can naturally read Enochian, so you shift your body closer to the angel for him to read along with you.  
"Are you sure you're alright with me seeing this? It may be quite personal," Castiel inquiries as you adjust youself next to him.  
"Of course Cas, I have nothing to hide from you, nor do I want to," you say without thought. The corners of Castiel's mouth quickly flip up on a short-lived smile, and it's only then did you realize what you had said. You blush and chuckle nervously to cover up your words. "Let's get to in then, shall we?" you say, trying to move on from the conversation. You take a deep breath, and carefully unroll the tiny strip of paper.  
Once you do, you scan the many different Enochian symbols and letters, all hand-written. You can't decipher a single one, and it makes you wonder _how the hell am I supposed to read this?_ But the moment the thought rings through your head, the symbols shift before your eyes, and very slowly but surely, you're able to decipher the angelic language. 

My dearest Aya,  
If you are reading this, then I have long left you, and it's time you know the truth about you and I. I wanted to be there with you, but this day was destined to come without me, so I write this to give you direction despite my absence. Ten miles northeast of our home, you will find a seemingly dead oak tree deep in the overgrowth. Cut one palm with the wield of an angel, and place the other onto its trunk. Smear a single drop of your blood onto its root, and the tree will sprout life. It will give you all the information you need to find out about what we really are. I love you, Aya. I'm proud of you.  
-Dad 

You feel a hot tear streak down your face. These are your dad's last words to you; they ring through your head over and over.  
_I'm proud of you._  
Castiel's hand gingerly finds your cheek, wiping away the tears that fall. You silently hand him the paper, and it's back in your necklace before you can blink. You gently hug the angel, and he reassuringly wraps his arms around you, stoking a careful hand through your hair. Once he's given you a few minutes to recompose yourself, Castiel stands.  
"Let's obtain your grace, shall we?" You catch his trench coat's sleeve. "Cas, hold on," you say, standing up as well.  
"I don't think... Maybe it's not a good idea." Castiel gives you a look of both confusion and slight surprise. "Well, not _now_ , at least," you quickly add to ease any assumptions he's creating.  
"We know where your grace is, don't you think that we should retrieve it as soon as possible?" he questions. You give him a look of thoughtfulness. "I think... I want to wait until we're done with purgatory; done with Crowley and Raphael," you say, looking into his ocean eyes.  
"We have no idea of exactly what we're going to find when we get there, let alone I don't know how I'm going to react if I get my grace back. I want to be clear headed for when you take on Raphael, not a freaked-out, confused puddle on the floor. Let's just wait until all of our bigger problems are taken care of, okay?" Castiel firmly holds your gaze for a few seconds, but as soon as your grip on his coat sleeve tightens, his stare falters. He looks away for a brief moment and sighs.  
"Alright, we will wait. However, as soon as Raphael is no longer a threat, we are finding your grace." You smile at the angel's words; not only because they show how adamant he is on helping you, but because they reaffirm the idea that Castiel will make it out of this alright. He will come back to you.  
Your train of thoughts is swiftly cut short when you hear your name being frantically shouted from the direction of the house.  
"Bobby?" You say aloud, worry now tensing up your entire body. "Something could be wrong. Go," Castiel says as he rests a firm hand on your shoulder. "The ritual isn't happening until tomorrow night. You may not see me, but you will hear from me again before then." You're about to question what the angel means, but another shout of your name echoes through the night air. "Go," Castiel firmly repeats. You throw your arms around him in a crashing goodbye hug, and start bolting for the house before he can even respond. Castiel watches you run for a few moments before finally disappearing.  
You fling the back door of the house open with an echoing thud and run into the kitchen.  
"Bobby?! Bobby I'm here!" You call into the house, heart thumping loudly in your chest. You dart into the living room study, and before you can call his name again, Bobby comes running in through the front door. His shoulders automatically slump when he sees you standing in the middle of the floor, eyes wide and chest heaving.  
"Jesus H. Christ, Aya. Where the _hell_ were you?" He demands. You're about to say you were with Cas, before swiftly remembering that being associated with him is frowned upon at the moment. "I-I'm sorry," you stammer as you try to catch your breath. "I was just out back, I wanted to explore and get some fresh air." You silently plead that your answer is viable enough. "Thank God himself that's where you were; almost gave me a heart attack," Bobby sounds, clearly too distressed to question your response. "What happened Bobby?" You question, clearly noticing something big occurred between the time he left for his meeting with Lovecraft's maid's son and now. Bobby straightens himself and adjusts his cap.  
"Crowley and Castiel are going after Eleanor." Your eyes widen, recalling that Bobby told you a few weeks ago that Dr. Eleanor Visyak was a long time friend of his. "I don't have time to explain, but Eleanor is a purgatory native, and the dynamic duo is after her. I think she knows how to open the portal back to her home town, and they're gonna try to wring it outta her. Whether or not she does, they kidnapped Lisa and Ben, so I figured its possible they're also goin' after people the boys and I care about. So when I got here and saw you gone, I thought they got to you before I could." Your brow knits at his words, but you don't touch on them for the sake of time. Bobby then marches away from you and grabs a few weapons from his desk, shoving them into a bag.  
"What now?" You ask as he quickly places a pistol inside the satchel. "I'm going to go get her before hell spawn does, that's what," he responds as he slings the bag over his shoulder.  
"Stay here, it's safer than going with me since I could be waltzing straight to Crowley and Cas. Lockdown the house with wards and devil traps just in case; the boys should be back in no more than two or three hours." Your brow knits together in confusion. "I thought the boys said they wouldn't be back until at least tomorrow?" You question, following Bobby out the front door. He climbs into the driver's seat of his truck and gives you a strange look.  
"Have you checked a clock recently?" He asks as he starts the car. He waves your questionable expression off before you can respond as he pulls out of the driveway, and you walk back inside once the screech of his tires fades in the distance. You stride upstairs to your room and retrieve your phone. _3:58 am_.  
"What the-?"  
The sun was just barely setting when you went outside to talk to Cas; you two _couldn't_ have been sitting out there for over eight hours, _could you?_  
You rub your temples, searching for relief from your reforming headache. _It's like time doesn't exist around him. Geez, Cas; whatdya doing to me?_ you think to yourself as you walk down the staircase.

_"Hopefully nothing negative."_

You shoot up straight and look around, searching for the body to match the voice. "Cas?" You call as you turn back around, looking to the top of the staircase. 

_"Yes?"_

You spin around on your heel and search for the angel, but he's nowhere to be found. "W-Where are you?" You question as you turn into the study, then make your way into the kitchen. 

_"River Falls, Minnesota."_

Your mouth hangs agape at his answer. "Wait, _where?"_ _"Well, at least we now know your telepathy abilities work."_

You blink a few times and finally realize (because it _totally_ wasn't obvious), Castiel's voice isn't coming from around you; it's coming from inside your head. "Whoa. So you can hear everything I'm saying?" You ask and lean on a counter top. 

_"Yes, but you don't have to physically speak. It's preferable if you simply think what you would like to say to me; it's easier to hear your thoughts than your voice."_

_Well, shit. Better not think of anything embarrassing, then._

_"I heard that as well."_

"Shit," you say under your breath.  
_Well, this is useful I guess. Now you don't need to pop in whenever I need to talk to you. Speaking of which, we've got a new problem; Crowley is after Dr. Eleanor Visyak, Bobby's friend._ You think, wondering if you should be actively trying to project the thoughts towards the angel. 

_"I am aware. She is actually the reason I am in River Falls at the moment; She has a bunker here. I am trying to locate her before Crowley does, but I believe she's using stealth wards. I'll have to try another one of her safe houses."_

_What does Crowley want with her, Cas?_ You question. 

_"The first and only known component needed for the ritual is a purgatory native's blood. I'm concerned that Crowley will kidnap Dr.Visyak and do more than needed to get it and the incantation needed to preform it. So I intend to protect her from him and acquire only the amount of blood needed to open the portal, as well as the spell before he does. She won't be pleased with my intentions, but it is better than being tortured by Crowley."_

Your brow furrows as you push yourself off the counter and walk into the study. _I suppose so. Heads up though, Bobby is already on his way to one of her safe houses, so be careful and try not to run into him okay?_

_"I'll try to avoid him. Will you be safe alone in the meantime?"_

You smirk, roll your eyes and chuckle. _Just because my life got turned upside down a few hours ago doesn't mean I can't protect it. I'll be just fine Cas, you focus on finding Eleanor._

_"I will. Keep an open mind for any transmissions from me for the next few hours, I'll keep you updated on any new events."_

You smile once again. _Alright Cas, good luck._

You can almost feel the connection between you and Castiel being cut, because not only are you slightly lightheaded, but it almost feels like you and Castiel were talking through tin cans attached with string, and someone snipped the twine connecting them.

After about three anxious hours of sitting at the study's desk and waiting for news from anyone, Dean practically busts through the front door; a caution-bearing Sam follows a safe distance behind. "Dean?" You say, but the older Winchester is unresponsive as he immediately disappears from sight, climbing the stairs and throwing his bedroom door closed. You shift your gaze to Sam, who simply sighs and walks over to lean on the edge of the desk. "Things didn't end well with Lisa and Ben."  
Before you can jump to the worst conclusion however, Sam quickly adds, "They're alive, and fine for the most part. Long story, but let's just leave it at that Dean will never get to see them again." Your gaze drops to the floor.  
"Poor Dean" is all you can manage to say under your breath. Sam solemnly nods in agreement before heading up to his room. You lean back in your chair and swipe a hand down your face. Man, these last twenty-four hours have not been good to anyone.  
Another two hours pass and Bobby comes home, possibly even more upset than Dean. "I couldn't find her," he says under his breath, gritting his teeth. You know the only two possibilities this could mean, either Castiel or Crowley found her before him; but neither are good options in Bobby's mind. "Bobby," you start, trying your damnedest to sound reassuring. "I'm sure she's alri-"  
Bobby walks out the back door and slams it before you're able to finish your sentence.  
You sigh and prepare to give Cas the news when you suddenly feel a mental connection being made before you could. 

_"Crowley has Dr.Visyak."_

You stand up from the desk as your frame tenses. _Fuck. Where is he keeping her? She alright?_

_"He's keeping her in an abandoned building he occupies as a hideout; it's fairly close to Bobby's house; about a two-hour drive. He's warded every entrance to the building so I cannot enter; I have no way of assuring Dr.Visyak's well being."_

You pinch the bridge of your nose in frustration. _Looks like Crowley still doesn't trust you. So what do we do? I can't really tell the boys to plan a rescue mission; they'll figure out that we're talking_.

_"This is my responsibility, Aya. I am culpable for any injuries that Crowley will give her. I will find a way to free her, I have to."_

_Whoa, Cas. Don't pin this on yourself, Crowley's got eyes everywhere, it's not your fault if you couldn't get to her first._

A few moments pass by with no response from Castiel. You call out his name again, but it almost feels as though he's blocked your thoughts' connections to him. You sigh and send him one last thought, even if he can't hear it;  
_Don't do anything too reckless, Cas. Please._

You walk up to your room to take a small nap, since your lack of sleep has finally caught up to you, only to toss and turn on the mattress the majority of the time due to overthinking. You are awoken by a frantic hand shaking your shoulder no more than ten minutes after you fell asleep. "Aya, hey get up. Hey wake up we gotta go."  
You open your eyes to see the younger Winchester looming over you, face painted with concern. "It's Eleanor; she called Bobby. She's pretty beat up; we gotta go help her." You quickly sit up and follow the boys to the impala. The entire drive, Bobby screeches at Dean to drive faster.

You and the boys run up to the alleyway to find a familiar angel hunched over a very beaten and bloody Dr.Visyak. Bobby is the first to bolt for the scene, pistol drawn and ready to attack Castiel.  
"Get _away_ from her you angelic scum," Bobby hisses as the angel jumps out of his way. Bobby crouches to Eleanor and gently holds her head up. "Hey you ol' geezer, good to see you bobby," Eleanor says with a weak smile, before wincing from pain. You and the boys join the scene, and Both Dean and Sam already have their blades drawn.  
"I did as much as possible to stop the internal bleeding, but I cannot heal her fully due to her being a purgatory native; my powers are not made to heal her kind." Bobby looks up to Castiel with a fire hotter than earth's core burning in his pupils. Castiel takes a step back, ready to defend himself or disappear at a moment's notice. "Crowley got carried away, as I feared he would. I was helpless to prevent this." Bobby gently but quickly lays Eleanor back down and shoots up, lunging for the angel. Before he can progress any closer than two steps, Sam and Dean grab his arms and hold him back.  
"You could have prevented _all_ of this! You didn't need to choose this road, but you did! Now look what's happening because of _you_! Her life is on the line and it's _your fault_!" Bobby screams.  
Suddenly, a faint hand shakily tethers itself to Bobby's jacket.  
"He's telling the truth, you knucklehead."  
Everyone looks down to find Eleanor trying, but failing, to sit up. Bobby's anger quickly dissolves as he bends down to his friend, gingerly holding her upright. You bend down to help her get as comfortable as possible and access the damage. "That damn British demon had his little roaches kidnapped me, and he was able to make quite a show before angel boy found a way in and busted me out. He did _try_ to heal me,too, but he wasn't able to do much." Eleanor splutters hard and coughs up a little blood, which Bobby wipes away with his thumb. Although, it doesn't help much, since she is head-to-toe _covered_ in her own crimson fluids.  
"I told him everything, Bobby; he can open the portal to purgatory at least ten times now. I'm sorry."  
Bobby shakes his head, dismissing the apology as he clings to his frail friend.  
Dean and Sam both take a firm stance in front of everyone on the ground, creating a human wall between you and Castiel. Dean looks upon his old friend with glassy eyes and a death grip on his knife. "Cas, common man. I know you don't wanna do this; you wouldn't have kept her alive if that weren't the case." Castiel returns Dean's stare.  
"I did it because it was the right thing to do. This doesn't change the fact that I need to stop Raphael the only way I know how."  
Dean takes a heavy sigh and holsters his blade. He takes a chance with a tense step towards the angel.  
"Last chance, Cas, _please_ put a stop to this. Come home with us."  
Castiel looks at Dean as though he's looking straight through him, armed with the knowledge that Dean doesn't truly understand like you do. He transfers his pained gaze to Eleanor, then to Bobby and Sam, before finally landing on you; the same way they did the night his confession ripped him away from the team. You look at him with knitted brows and mixed emotions. A small, guilty "I'm sorry" falls from his lips, just before he disappears. 

You and the team wrap and bandage Eleanor as best you can with the med kit in the impala, then transfer her into the back seat with cautious hands. Dean drives as smoothly as he can while still trying to be quick, avoiding any bumps to ensure the most comfort for the injured passenger. Once you all arrive to Bobby's house, Sam and Dean carry Eleanor to the couch while you and Bobby grab all the medical supplies you can. For the next three hours, you and the team take on the roles of makeshift doctors, carefully cleaning, stitching, and comforting Eleanor. You all manage to stop the leftover external bleeding that Castiel couldn't heal, and stitch up the last of her gashes and cuts. Dean wipes his brow with his forearm as gauze is taped over the last few stitches.  
"Well I don't know how the hell you managed to hang on this long, but I think you're gonna be okay, Ellie," Bobby says with a feeble smile as he grasps her hand. "We're not out of the woods yet, but I think I'll pull through," Eleanor responds, slightly squeezing his hand in assurance. You and Sam gather and clean up the blood-soaked rags and bandage wrappers, then you go to your room to not only shower off the caked blood that's on every inch of your exposed skin, but so you can call Castiel in solitude.

 _Hey Cas, you there?_ you wait for a moment, feeling a connection quickly set it between you two.

_"I'm here; hello Aya."_

You turn the knobs in your shower, setting the water to a comfortable temperature. _Hi. So I didn't get the chance to ask, what the hell happened at Crowley's warehouse? How'd you get passed the wards?_

_"I had to wait quite some time, but eventually two demons came out of the building. Since I cannot touch or cross wards unless they are canceled, I killed the demons, then splattered their blood onto the wards above a door until it was crossed out. Then I was able to safely pass and retrieve Dr.Visyak._

Your eyebrows flick up as you retrieve clean towels from your dresser. _Huh, damn Cas. That's brutal, but awesome._

_"There's one more thing that I accomplished before I left."_

You start undoing the laces of your boots. _And that is?_ you intrigue.

_"It was not an easy endeavor, but I retrieved the blood for the ritual, as well as made a copy of the spell to open the portal."_

Your face lights up. _Cas you're amazing! If you were here, I'd be hugging you right now._

Before you hear an answer from Castiel, a flutter of wings sounds through the halls from downstairs. "An angel?" You question out loud. You think quickly, lacing back up your shoes. 

_Cas, can other angels hear our conversations?_

_"Only if they're close in proximity, why?"_

_Quick, sever our connection. I'll explain later._

Castiel doesn't question you, and you feel the string of thoughts between you two be cut. You quickly go downstairs and round the corner into the study. You are greeted with a tall, sophisticated-faced man standing in the middle of the room. His ashy-blond hair was short and disarrayed, contrasting his neatly-kept facial hair. He wore a simple black blazer, gray v-neck and jeans. You notice a pair of dog tags and a cross pendant hang from a long chain around his neck.  
"Balthazar?" Dean says as he and Bobby walk out of the kitchen. Sam stands up from the desk and the brothers stride to the angel. "Hello things one and two," the man responds. He turns and notices you staring from the entryway, so he walks between Sam and Dean to offer you a hand. "And who is this lovely creature boys? Pull another one into your little game of cat and mouse?" The brothers seem relaxed enough around him, as well as he seems welcoming, so you keep a placid pose.  
"Aya. I'm new."  
You take his hand and shake. As soon as you accept his gesture, however, Balthazar gives you an estranged look, and he suddenly doesn't seem as welcoming as before. Once you shake his hand a single time, he drops your hand, and stares at you momentarily, making you uneasy. He then quickly turns his attention back to the boys. _Well, that was weird _, you think. Then it hits you: Castiel acted the same way when he first met you. _Shit, he knows you're a Nephilim now, doesn't he?_ You tense up, then hastily walk to the kitchen. Is he going to rat you out to the boys? Is he going to try to kill you? Or is he just gonna look at you with distaste? You desperately hope it's the latter.  
"So boys," Balthazar starts, walking over to the brothers and putting a hand on their shoulders. "I've decided to help you. I've seen it myself, and I can agree that Castiel has, in your words,'gone off his rocker'." You peak around the corner in time to see Balthazar hand Dean a folded piece of paper. "Castiel and Crowley will be doing the ritual at this location tonight. I expect you all will be there to make sure that it doesn't happen." As the boys converse with Balthazar, you sneak out the back door and jog into the overgrowth of the forest, trying to put enough distance between you and the angel so you can call Cas. You reach the field you and Castiel sat in last night, and hope that this is enough space so Balthazar won't hear you. __

__"Castiel, we've got a problem."_ _


	13. We Rise, We Fall pt.2

"Castiel, we've got a problem."

_"What happened?"_ Castiel questions with a worried tone.

"The boys know where the ritual is gonna go down, we gotta find you a new place to-"

Before you can finish your thought, four people dressed in black appear before you in the field. They all flash you eyes of onyx before giving you sinister grins. "Demons? What are they doing here?" you say under your breath. you turn back towards the house, only to be greeted by five more in the distant grass. 

_"Demons? Aya what is happening?"_

Your gaze shifts around you, rapidly trying to keep track of the demons surrounding you as you pull your blade from its sheathe. "Cas, whatever you do, stay where you are. Crowley sent his little messengers here and I don't think he's too happy with you." Another six demons appear, and they all surround you in a large circle.

_"Aya, I'm coming to help you. I can-"_

" _Stay there_ ," you demand. "I'm gonna get the boys," you say under your breath. You've got one shot at this before the demons pounce on you, so you hope your lungs won't give out half way. You take the deepest breath your chest will hold, and let out a bloodcurdling scream towards the house. You hope that was enough to get the boys' attention, because half the demons are now running at full speed towards you. You dodge their initial blows, and are able to land a few hits on three of them. You hear Dean shout your name, and you're able to catch a glimpse of the team bounding towards you, weapons drawn and ready to fight. Balthazar strides behind them, not wanting to miss the show. You dodge another demon and are able to stab him in the neck, but a second demon pulls you off of him while you're distracted. You kick her off of you, but two more come hurdling in your direction, trapping your arms in their grip. The boys arrive to the scene, but ten additional demons block their path. A few are holding weapons, including two angel blades. Man, Crowley sent a small army, didn't he?  
"Not so fast boys," a demon hisses. "We're not here to get you, for once. We're here for her." The demon gestures to you being pinned down by three of the damned souls.  
"And we're takin' her." The black-eyed body smiles.  
"Like _hell_ you are," Dean says, and the brothers lunge for the attack. You struggle as Dean, Sam, and Bobby attack, Balthazar standing and watching from afar. You thrash and manage to throw one demon off of you, and you glance behind you just in time to see Castiel materialize in the distance and slice the throat of one processed body. Dean's gaze stretches across the plane of grass and meets Castiel's, but neither stop fighting to get to you.  
The last thing you hear is both of them screaming your name before the demons holding you down disappear, taking you with them. 

When you reappear, you're extremely dizzy and lightheaded. The demons simply drop you onto a cold tile floor and walk away. You desperately try to steady your vision so you can assess your surroundings and current situation. You hear a snap from somewhere in the white-washed room, and suddenly you feel something cold and heavy wrap around your neck, wrists and ankles. You look down to see that you have metal cuffs on, attached to chains bolted to the floor. You look on the cuffs and realize they're engraved with Enochian sigils and letters. You look up from your ankles to see a ring of what you think is holy fire circling you. Lastly, you look to the floor, and are greeted back with a massive Enochian imprisonment sigil carved into the tile.  
"Had to take every precaution with you, love. You're quite the unpredictable one, you know."  
You pinch the bridge of your nose, searching for visual clarity. "I'm not an angel," you spit. A dark, sullen man of seemingly middle-age walks into your field of vision, stopping just before the holy fire. He's dressed in a black suit and silk tie, all under a blood-soaked apron.  
"Oh I know _exactly_ what you are, my lovely little Aya."  
Your eyebrows furrow, then flick up once you realize who you're speaking with. "Wait, I know who you are. You're-"  
"Crowley, yes. Pleasure," the man says, taking a small bow. "What am I doing here? What could you possibly want with me, Crowley?" You ask, hoping that he knows nothing of you and Castiel's partnership. "Well, you see darling, it's not what I want with _you_ per se, it's what I want from your little winged boyfriend." Damnit, he knows.  
"He went back on our deal and stole something of mine, so it's only fair I steal something of his until what rightfully belongs to me is returned." You grit your teeth, your vision now completely clear due to increasing anger. "Call yourself insurance," Crowley finishes with a wink before turning his back to you. "Besides, there's someone else here you should meet. They've been waiting for quite some time for your arrival, and they've got a bone to pick with you. Or rather, possibly _out_ of you."  
The king of hell walks away with no further explanation, and before you can demand any more answers, you hear footsteps approach behind you. You shift your body to see an ebony-skinned woman in a pantsuit looming over you. She slowly circles around you, following the path of the holy fire as she examines you. You twitch an eyebrow, wondering who the hell this lady is, or thinks she is.  
"I am Raphael, the ruler of Heaven, and you will speak to me with the utmost respect." Your eyes widen, and you suddenly feel like a caged animal in the ring of fire.  
"W-What? Why are you-"  
"I do not need to tell an _abomination_ like you anything," the angel says, sour tones saturating his speech. Raphael bends down on one knee so that he meets your eye level. You feel like scooting away, but you stand your ground so you don't seem intimidated.  
"I know what you are, _World Unraveler._ I have been awaiting your birth for many millennia." Raphael leans in, face inches from the licking flames as you try to contact Castiel. 

_Cas, I'm in Crowley's warehouse. I'm trapped, please-_

Your thoughts are cut short when he lifts a single hand and gently closes his fist. Your whole body seizes; every single muscle contracting and twisting with an agonizing burn. Tears involuntarily start streaking your face, and you barely hear his next words due your eardrums feeling as though they will pop from the building pressure.  
"Castiel cannot hear you, child; the chains' inscriptions make sure of that. I shouldn't be letting you live, but once that foolish angel is out of the way, I will be sure your death is prolonged as long as possible, rest assured."  
The angel finally opens his fist and you drop to the ground. Raphael stands and walks out of the room, leaving you a coughing, watery-eyed pile on the floor.  
A few hours pass without word from either of your kidnappers. It's now night time, and the run-down building has no insulation. You pull your legs to your chest in an attempt to keep as much body warmth as possible. You think of how you're going to get out of this, of what Raphael said, and what you and Castiel are going to do afterwards if you both make it out alive. So many questions, but not a single answer. You rest your head on your knees.  
Just then, the doors at the opposite side of the room fly open, and two demons stride inside. Crowley and Raphael walk in through another door and meet with the demons.  
"The angel is here, sir. Shall we let him in?" The first demon says in a dignified matter. "Does he have the blood?" Crowley intrigues, and both demons nod. Crowley shoots a quick stare to you, then meets Raphael's gaze.  
"Well, let him in then. Let's get the show started, shall we?" Your heart begins to thump loudly in your chest as Crowley and Raphael walk to stand on either side of your fiery prison.  
_What are they planning?_  
The demons walk into the room once more, and they part to show a familiar angel striding behind them.  
"Cas? Castiel!" You call as you try to stand, but fail and fall back to the ground due to the short length of the chains. Castiel calls out your name in response, pain filling his eyes. He motions to take a step toward you, but Raphael outstretches an open palm in protest.  
"Come no further, Castiel, or the Nephilim dies." Raphael takes his second hand and turns it open-palm towards you, ready to attack you as he previously had. "What are you doing here, brother?" Castiel demands, a seething anger slowly building in his rib cage. Raphael lowers his head as lets out a mocking laugh.  
"Did you really think I was going to allow you to absorb all that power?"  
"So you work with the king of hell to stop me?" Castiel retorts.  
"Need I remind you that so did you, brother, before you walked away to take purgatory for yourself. You're no better than me in that aspect. The demon and I simply have a common goal: to stop you." Raphael turns his gaze to you.  
"The Nephilim, however, we have no use for, and I've been waiting to kill her for a very long time."  
Raphael closes his fist even tighter than the first time, and your body seizes up in a pain worse than anything you've ever thought possible. You involuntary start screaming, and are unable to control your muscles as your wrists and ankles pull furiously at their chains.  
" _Stop!_ " Castiel shouts as he takes a step forward.  
"And if we do? What will you do in exchange, Castiel?" Crowley calls over your screams. Castiel's jaw tenses as he watches you writhe on the floor, before pulling out a large jar of blood from his coat. Raphael smiles, but doesn't lighten up on you. You look up with tear-filled eyes and see the jar, recognizing it immediately as the ritual blood.  
" _No!_ " you choke out through your own screams and pain. Raphael and Crowley quickly shoot their gazes to you, surprised that you could even speak.  
"Cas, you can't... More important... than me..." You manage to say in between screams.  
Raphael's face takes on a look of anger, and he squeezes his fist tighter. Your lungs contents fill the air once again, and Castiel looks as though he's falling apart while helplessly watching you.  
"Cas... Give... the world... its chance." You finish, and your voice cracks as you cry out.  
"So what's it going to be, _partner_?" Crowley says with disgust. Castiel's gaze stays on you as he grips the jar of blood. He finally tears himself away from you to glare at Crowley with angry, glowing eyes, before finally tossing the jar of blood to him. Raphael immediately opens his fist and you drop to the floor like a rag doll. The rims of your vision are darkening, and you struggle to stay conscious. Crowley snaps, and the chains, sigil and ring of holy fire disappear. Crowley and Raphael walk away as Castiel runs to you. "Thank you for your cooperation, brother. You and the Nephilim get to live, for now." Castiel ignores Raphael and gently picks up your limp body in his arms, and you weakly curl into his chest. He looks to Raphael and Crowley, a fiery rage fuming in his chest, before he finally disappears.

When you two reappear, you're in an empty storage house at the edge of town. Castiel walks over to a wall and gently sits you upright, kneeling closely next to you. He then takes off his trench coat and puts it around you to fight the cold of the night air away. Castiel places a hand on your cheek and you slowly lift your face to meet his.  
"Are you alright?" He asks, and you see the genuine concern and residual fear in his eyes. You lean into his touch as he raises and hovers his opposite hand over every part of your body. As his hand moves, you feel his grace faintly sweep over you, checking for internal injuries and dissipating any leftover aches. You smile against his palm.  
"I am now," you say in a quiet tone, and Castiel smiles in relief. You lean in and give him a hug, and when he wraps his arms around you protectively, you feel just how afraid he was of losing you to the hands of his own brother. Your smile fades as you remember the events that occurred moments ago, and realize what Castiel gave up to save you.  
"Cas..." You say, pulling away from the hug. He looks at you with question, as if he did something wrong.  
"You should have just left," you finish as your hooded gaze drifts to the floor.  
"What?" Castiel asks, now taking on a look on confusion. You look up to meet his eyes and he's taken back; your eyes are clear and shiny with tears. "You should have just left," you repeat. "It was either my life or _billions_ of others. The fate of the world is bigger than me, but we gave away the only chance to save it. You should taken the blood and-"

Castiel doesn't give you the chance to finish your sentence, but instead his hand drifts to the back of your head and his fingers become lost in your hair. He pulls your face to his, and presses his lips firmly to yours. You are immobile due to shock for a moment, but before you are given the chance to react, he pulls away as quickly as his lips found yours, leaving you alone with your empty thoughts and wildly thumping heart.  
"I can not- I _will not_ lose you to my mistakes."  
You sit there, lips slightly parted, staring into Castiel's eyes. His glassy eyes shine brighter than you've ever seen; his face is full of human emotions: pleads and concern and seriousness and longing.  
"Even if Raphael were to tear down all of space and time itself, I would not sacrifice you. I would hold you close to me as we witness the world crumble around us. You will not suffer for my choices. You are too important to me to lose like that."  
Your eyes begin to blur with tears once more, so you do the only thing you know you can: you kiss him.  
This kiss is much less urgent than the former, and you can feel the nerves between you two. Castiel is delicate and careful at first, almost as though he feels he's unworthy of touching you in such a tainting way. But any unsure feelings soon melt away as you wrap your arms around his neck and pull yourself closer to him. Castiel's hand finds your cheek once more, and the other curves around your side to the small of your back. It presses you towards him even more, and you find yourself moving into his lap. When he gently pulls you flush against his chest, you can feel his heart pounding, and the heat radiating between your bodies slowly burns hotter. His lips are soft and plush, and he tastes of something sweet, something earthy, and something uniquely Castiel. You two sit there for what seems like hours, just holding each other in the endearing, comfortable embrace you've been yearning for every night since the day you met him. After finally pulling himself away from you, Castiel's lips ghost over yours momentarily as you breath in each other's air, before he leans in and softly touches his forehead to yours.  
"Too important," Castiel repeats under his breath. You feel a tear start to escape from the corner of your eye, but the angel wipes it away before it stains your face. "Besides..."  
You pull your face away from his to see Castiel wearing a big goofy smile that warms you to the core. His hand leaves your cheek almost reluctantly and hides behind his back, only to return in your field of sight grasping a large jar of blood. Your eyes widen and your jaw immediately drops. "Is that... How did you-"  
"I believe if Dean were here, he would be quite proud of me." Castiel gives you a vaguely sad smile as he sets the jar down on the floor. The moment it leaves his hand, you slam into Castiel, wrapping your arms around him and knocking him to the floor. You press your lips to his again, laughing and murmuring in between kisses.  
"You never-"  
Kiss.  
"Cease to-"  
Kiss.  
"Amaze me-"  
Kiss.  
"Castiel."  
You lay on top of him and press your forehead to his, noses brushing and smiles wide. You roll off of him to his side, then Castiel stands and offers you a hand. "Let's finish this then, shall we?" You grin and accept his hand, and he lifts you from the ground with one single pull. You pick up the jar and hand it to the angel as you both walk to the opposite side of the storage house. Castiel hands you the incantation script and he twists off the cap to the jar. He begins painting an intricate blood sigil on the wall with his hand. Once he is finished, he wipes the blood from his hands with a rag and walks to you.  
"Are you ready?" Castiel asks.  
"Almost," you say as you start shrugging off his trench coat to return it.  
"No. Keep it," he says as he grasps the collar and gently pulls the coat back over your shoulders. "I do not want you to get cold. I think you look more beautiful in it than I do, as well." You smile and grasp his hand, yours succumbing to the size as they always do. You look up to meet Castiel's eyes and smile a little. He smiles back, and you two lean in for one final kiss. Your lips leave his reluctantly, then you wrap your arms around his neck in a hug. You whisper in his ear," You can do this. Come back to me, okay?" Castiel gives you a gentle, reassuring squeeze.  
"I will. I promise we will have our chance." Castiel pulls away from the hug and takes a deep breath. You give him the incantation and you put a fair amount of distance between you and the sigil. Castiel gives you one last glance before he reads the Latin spell:

_"Ianua magna Purgatorii, clausa est ob nos, lumine eius ab oculis nostris retento. Sed nunc stamus ad limen huius ianuae magnae et demisse, fideliter, perhonorifice, paramus aperire eam. Creaturae terrificae, quarum ungulae et dentes, nunquam tetigerunt carnem humanam. Aperit fauces eius ad mundum nostrum, nunc, ianua magna aperta tandem!"_

The second the last word falls from his lips, the storage house starts to rumble, making the wall begin to inwardly crack on the lines of the sigil. The wall slowly collapses and implodes into what looks like a black hole. Castiel reasserts himself in a firm stance, and opens his jaw wide. Suddenly, what you can only describe as a banshee's screech sounds through the air and a massive swirl of pure white-colored souls shoots from the portal. Each individual soul creates its own pitch of the screech, and you cover your ears as more and more flood from the portal and dart over your head. Castiel begins breathing the souls in by the millions; for each soul he absorbs, every orifice radiates a growing, colorless light. Castiel's frame then begins to float off the ground, as though the souls make him lighter than air. As the seconds pass by, the piercing light becomes brighter and brighter, until it's too blinding to watch, and the shaking of the room is almost deafening along with the souls' screams. You cover your eyes and ears, and suddenly a flash of light bathes the entirety of the storage house, before completely dissipating in less than a second. You look up in time to see Castiel's frame drop to his hands and knees on the cold concrete floor.  
"Cas?! _Castiel_!"  
You scramble to your feet and run to him, placing a panicking hand on his shoulder. "Castiel? Are you alright? How do you feel? Cas talk to me." Castiel's head quickly cocks to one side and stares at you; your heart almost stops. His eyes are glowing white like a powerful fire, before slowly dissipating to a dimmer blue than what you're used to. You take a step back.  
"Cas-"  
He cuts you off, swiftly standing and slamming his lips into yours. This kiss heavily contrasts the first kiss Castiel gave you; this one is rugged, and the angel pulls you roughly to him. You pull your face away, slightly startled.  
"I'm feeling _just_ fine."  
The way he says this makes you uneasy, but before you have a chance to access the situation any further, you are pulled to him once again, and the room shifts around you. You're suddenly in Crowley's warehouse, with he and Raphael standing in front of you, and Sam, Dean, and bobby behind you.  
Bewildered by your sudden appearance, your name slips from both the brothers' mouths as their confused faces ask 'why are you with the angel?'.  
"Castiel," Crowley says with detestation. "Looks like someone got to the cookie jar before we could." You look to Castiel to find the corners of his mouth are eerily upturned. Crowley walks to the sigil on the wall and swipes a finger through the crimson, before sticking it into his mouth. He pulls it out with an exaggerated _pop!_ , and an almost impressed look spreads across his face.  
"Dog blood. Oldest trick in the book; should've seen it coming. Well done Cassie." Castiel looks to the floor as his smile widens with contentment.  
"So how did your ritual go then? Better than ours, I would bet," Crowley asks, slowly putting distance between him and Castiel. You turn to look at the team once again, only to be met with confused eyes and lips mouthing questions you can't understand. A gentle hand finds your chin, startling you, before it lifts your face to Castiel's. His other hand snakes around your side and pulls you uncomfortably close.  
"Close your eyes," he says softly, but yet sounding so worthy of caution. You obey, shutting your eyes tight. Castiel shuts his eyes as well, and suddenly the room begins to rumble and shake. From behind your eyelids, you can see the pure white beam of energy surging from the angel as everyone in the room frantically covers their faces. Castiel slowly grows brighter and the room shakes as though the entire building will collapse. The thought frightens you, and the moment your hands grab fistfuls of the angel's trench coat as an anchor, Castiel's hand on your back twitches with slight worry, and he immediately fades his surge of power. He looks down to you and combs a hand through your hair.  
"My apologies, I did not mean to scare you," he whispers to you before placing a small peck on the crown of your head.  
"You can't imagine what this feels like," Castiel finally speaks aloud to the room in a calm, collected tone. "Millions upon millions of souls, filling every corner of my body. They and I are one." Out of your peripheral vision, you see Sam quietly sneak away from Dean and Bobby, opting to hide behind a nearby medical trolley. He presses his finger to his lips and gives you a silent "shhh" motion before hiding from sight so Castiel doesn't notice. Sam seems to be forming a plan, but you don't focus on it. You're too busy filling your head to the brim with mixed emotions; confusion and nervousness dominating all the rest. You don't like this; the tension in the room, the aura Castiel is radiating. Something is wrong, _very_ wrong.  
"Sounds sexy, exit stage: Crowley," the king of hell retorts before quickly making haste to disappear. Raphael motions to follow Crowley's pursuit, but rapidly finds his feet are glued to the floor. Castiel's hand leaves the small of your back, and he takes a few steps toward his now terrified older brother. You hear a small "psst" behind you, and you turn to see Dean motioning you to come to him and Bobby. Dean takes a step forward to you, but before either of you can progress any further, Castiel's arm shoots up in Dean's direction with palm facing him. Dean is harshly shoved ten feet backwards on the backs of his heels by an invisible force, and almost falls due to the suddenness.  
" _Don't_ touch her," Castiel orders, a menacing undertone striking worry in your core. Once Castiel is satisfied no one else will attempt to retrieve you, he turns back to his brother.  
"What's the matter, Raphael? Did someone clip your wings?" Castiel utters, false sympathy drenching his voice. Raphael's eyes widen as his brother takes another step towards him. "Castiel, please," Raphael implores as you and the team spectate. "You will have mercy on the king of hell, but not your own _brother_?" he finishes. Castiel chuckles, and it sounds familiar. In fact, it sounds _exactly_ the same way it did in the nightmare you dreamt the night Castiel's secret came out; a low, sinister rumble, no longer the soft laugh you've grown to adore.  
"The demon I have plans for," the angel explains. " _You_ on the other hand..."  
Castiel trails off, lifting a hand and snapping his fingers. Raphael instantaneously explodes, and you shield your face from the splattering blood and organs of his vessel. You prepare yourself for the vital red fluid to collide with your frame, but there you stand with not a single drop on you. You slowly uncover your face to be met with complete shock; you're not sure how to describe it, but it's as though an invisible wall had been put up in front of you and Castiel, shielding you from the explosion of Raphael's vessel. The blood that was _supposed_ to hit you two lingers in the air in front of you, stuck frozen in the space just inches away from your faces. You turn to look at the team once more to find Dean and Bobby are all doused in blood, as well as the rest of the room. The wall of blood falls with a glimpse of Castiel's gaze, and you stand in utter stupefaction as he walks around and in front on you, putting himself between you and the team.  
"I saved you, yet again," Castiel says to Bobby and Dean, and they exchange nervous glances. "You sure did Cas, thank you," Dean charily says. Castiel looks as Dean as though he's peering right through him.  
"But you doubted me. You all fought against me."  
"You were right, and we should have believed you. We're sor-"  
"You're only apologizing because you are now afraid of me," Castiel interrupts his old friend, his face hardening as he speaks. "I pleaded for one sole thing from you: your trust. But instead, you turned your back to me when I needed you most. You all betrayed me; you all gave up on me." Castiel turns to you, and suddenly everyone's attention is on you.  
"Except for her."  
The angel walks to you and takes your hand before you have a say in the matter. "Aya was the only one to stand by me. She gave me her faith when no one else did. All of my accomplishments I owe to her."  
Your eyes shift from Castiel to Dean, only to find his expression hardened and full of betrayal.  
"You were working with them this whole time, too?" Your eyes widen at the accusation and begin to burn.  
"N-no..." You quietly say before raising your voice.  
"No!"  
You rip your hand away from Castiel's and take a step towards the man you consider your brother. "Dean it's not like that! I didn't-"  
"I thought we could trust you," he says with glassy eyes that cut you to the core. Your tear ducts betray you as hot droplets streak down your cheeks.  
"You can," you say, voice cracking.  
"Yea, well that's what we thought about him, too." Dean gestures to Castiel, who watches a tear roll down your face. You don't have the words to convince them, to make them believe that this wasn't what you wanted. So, Dean continues to speak for you, trying to diffuse the bigger problems at hand than your "betrayal".  
"Cas, please, just listen to me. I know we didn't end on good terms, but we were _family_ once. I would have died for you; I almost did a few times. So if that means _anything_ to you, please, disarm yourself and put the weapons back in the arsenal. You don't need this kind of power anymore, Raphael's long gone. It's messing with your head man." Dean wipes blood from his forehead with the back of his hand. Castiel's face hardens with seriousness and slight offense, obviously unhappy with Dean's response.  
"I am just fine, Dean. On the contrary, I am more clear-headed than I've ever been. You speak of family, when family would have stood by me when I needed them, and that certainly wasn't you. You abandoning me made me more lost than I was when I fell from heaven. But now that I have the souls and Aya beside me, my goals and future have never been so clear." Castiel takes your hand once more in an almost painful grip, and pulls you to his side. "My father abandoned us long ago. He did something no loving creator would do."  
Dean's brow creases with a new found worry. "What are you implying, Cas?" He asks, beads of sweat now forming on his forehead. Castiel glares at Dean with an icy stare, before looking to and chilling you to the bone.  
"I am your new god; a better one. With Aya by my side, we will rule and watch over earth and heaven. You will bow and profess your undying faith to your lords, or we will strike you down right beside the other evils of existence."  
You start to shiver and panic from the horrors of Castiel's words, along with the cocktail of emotions swirling in your head.  
Hurt. Confusion. Worry. _Fear_.  
Just then, you hear running footsteps and glance over just in time to see Sam raise an angel blade over his head behind Castiel.  
"Sam _no!_ " you scream, but you're too late as he sinks the entire blade into the middle Castiel's back. Instead of your worst fears becoming reality and Castiel dies at the hand of you two's own family, he simply grunts and cracks his neck. He then reaches behind him, and slowly pulls the blade out of his flesh with one hand, dropping it to the floor.  
"Hello to you too, Sam."  
Castiel says as he turns to face the confused and terrified Winchester. "Unfortunately, angel blades no longer work on me; for I am no longer an angel." Your eyes widen in absolute panic as tears continuously fall down your face. Your head is shouting to get away from Castiel, to run to Dean, to protect Sam, to do _something_ , but you can't bring yourself to move a single inch; you are completely frozen in Castiel's presence, frozen by your own screaming thoughts.  
No no no no no no what happened to Castiel this is all my fault how do we fix this _what have I done?_  
Castiel then quickly raises a hand, placing two fingers just shy of Sam's forehead before anyone could blink.  
"I'm sorry, Sam," Castiel says as he places his fingers on Sam's forehead, to which his eyes immediately roll back and he falls to the floor. You scream the younger Winchester's name and you finally move to drop to his side, but you're caught by Castiel's arms and pulled away. Dean and Bobby run to his limp body instead, finding Sam is breathing, but just barely.  
"Think carefully about which side you are on. Farewell."  
Castiel pulls you flush against his chest, and you disappear in a screaming mess with him, leaving the remaining members of Team Free Will alone in the warehouse.  
-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys, how was THAT for an update? ;) So other than the emotional turmoil I just put you all through, there's a few things I'd like to explain. In my opinion, I think if Castiel had someone supporting him through all of this, things would have gone a little differently. Castiel wouldn't have been nearly as stressed because he would have someone backing him, so his choices would have been dramatically effected (despite it ending the same way). Castiel would have switched his deal with Crowley much sooner, wouldn't have broken Sam's wall (at least not while he was still stable and not full of soul power), wouldn't have helped Crowley torture Eleanore/let her die, and certainly wouldn't have killed Balthazar. So they are both alive! yay! ^u^ Also, just one quick thing: when the reader and Castiel are telepathically talking, their thoughts will always be italicized, and Castiel's will always be in quotes. This is actually why I had to split the chapter into two parts, because since when did A03 have a limit on how much you can italicize/make bold??????? The italicizing is important, so I had no choice but to split it to make it work. Okie-dokie guys, that's all for now! See you in the next chapter xo
> 
> EDIT 9/17/16: Hey guys, so I wanted to explain the absence of new chapters as of late. I had said in previous months, this fic has been on hiatus, and for quite some time at that. I have the general outline for this fic all prepped and ready to write out, but I can't bring myself to continue. Why is this? Because I feel this work is obsolete and does not represent how my writing has grown since I started _And Flowers Die_ all those months ago. The more I go over earlier chapters, the more inconsistent things and plot holes I find. Aya/you don't even have a solid background so far for pete's sake! So here's my solution to this, since I can't really fix what I've already posted and I can't continue things as they are: What if I rewrote everything from scratch? Sure the plot, events and dialog will all be relatively the same, but the chapters will be much more refined, up to date, and consistent enough that I can continue. I would also keep up the old chapters until the new ones are all published and up to the point we left off. What do you guys think? I feel this is the best solution and you guys will enjoy _And Flowers Die_ much more than before. Sorry to disappoint you guys if I did, I'm just not sure how to continue from where I left off when it comes to the writing itself. Let me know in the comments, and if any of you have any input on what I should do next! Thanks for sticking around everyone, I love and appreciate every read, comment and kudos. xo -Shy


End file.
